Home Sweet Home

It was around 6 am on Monday when Hyang Sun Lee gathered her three children, ages 9 years, 7 years and 2 years of age. She helped the children into bed with her sleeping husband.

It is alleged that she then poured a liquid on them and began trying to light a paper with a grill starter. That is when the husband awoke and managed to extinguish the fire on the paper. It is alleged that the liquid that Hyang Sun Lee poured over her family was lighter fluid.

Police say they received a call from the household about 6:12 am regarding a suicide attempt.

Thanks to the husband awakening, no one was injured. 

Hyang Sun Lee has been charged with suspicion of attempted murder. Police have not released a motive.

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I found it interesting that the call to 911 was on an attempted suicide.

Many of us identify strongly with our family. And usually at the thought that we might or have lost a member, we feel that it is unbearable and that life cannot go on.

So might a suicidal person in all their confusion feel. In considering the future for the family, a suicidal person might feel remorse at the pain their family will feel and may wish to spare them that pain. They may fear the future for the family due to financial or other reasons. They may feel they are committing the act out of love, and to relieve or prevent some real or imagined suffering.  It is called an ‘altruistic’ murder and usually will be accompanied by some type of mental problem. jaapl.org

Of course I have no way of knowing if this was the motivation for this, but the fact that it was called in as an attempted suicide does make me wonder.

If this is the situation for this family, hopefully some consideration will be made to provide treatment for her while she is going through the justice process.

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The charges against Hyang Sun Lee are 3 counts of attempted murder with deliberation and premeditation. She has also been charged with one count of aggravated assault for an incident last year in which it is alleged that during an argument she swung a steak knife at her husband cutting him in the stomach multiple times.

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Alicia Bartholomew, 26, is accused of shooting her husband James Bartholomew, 29, in the back about 7:30 pm on Friday. He was taken to a hospital for treatment. Police say a single shot was fired and hit Bartholomew in the spine. Doctors fear he may be paralysed.

It seems simple, but alas life is never simple. Alicia Bartholomew’s family says that is only a part of the story.

In court last Tues. Alicia Bartholomew said that she was also a victim. A victim of an abusive husband. Her mother has told media that Alicia and James Bartholomew were married for 10 years. And that 10 years of abuse is what led to the shooting of Bartholomew in the back.  

“I knew she would shoot him in the back…so she wouldn’t have to face him…she still loved him.”

Alicia Bartholomew appeared in court by video link and told the court that she had tried to leave her husband recently. She told the court that she had reached out

“I was trying to to get out of the house, I just had talked to a Safe House lady trying to get out of the house.”

The Commonwealth’s Attorney has said the prior abuse allegations are known and are being investigated.

According to all reports, the two were at a local American Legion when witnesses say a physical argument developed in the parking lot. The two left there and apparently they went back to their apartment. There it is alleged they were each burning some items belonging to the other outside the complex.

According to a police report:

“The parties began to burn each other’s clothing in the courtyard of the complex and the dispute continued back into the apartment where the perpetrator smashed some electronic equipment and a computer belonging to the victim,” “The victim at some point produced a handgun but did not use it. He laid the handgun down, and the perpetrator picked up the weapon and shot the victim in the arm.”

Alicia Bartholomew’s mother has said that Alicia was finally standing up for herself.

James Bartholomew was taken to the hospital where he is reported to be in serious condition. Alicia Bartholomew has been given a $25,000 cash bond and ordered to stay away from her husband, family is trying to raise the money and trying to find her an attorney.

The couple’s 3 children- ages 5 years, 2 years, and 2 months were in their apartment at the time and were not harmed.

Alicia Bartholomew has been arrested and charged with first degree assault.

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I don’t know if the allegations about James Bartholomew are true or not. I did a quick search of the newspaper archives to see if the names showed up, but got nothing. However, many times old news articles don’t get archived in a way that is searchable by search engine or they just go away. And many domestic violence reports and even arrests don’t make the news. Police are still investigating so more info could come out later.

In making a decision to stay or leave an abusive relationship, most people consider whether it is more dangerous for them to stay or leave. Some consider the well being of the children. But most don’t stop to think- what happens if they are put in the position of deadly force to defend themselves…. or what happens if it gets to the point where they break?

There is often a very fine line drawn on what is self defense. And though the ‘battered women’s syndrome’ is now accepted by the court, proving the accused suffered from it and that it led to the violence can be very difficult to do. So in making the decision, this should always be considered.

If a decision is made to leave, it is important to reach out to a domestic violence agency to develop a safety plan, and to follow through on the plan. And to not talk about it to anyone. Not the spouse or partner or even friends. Once in a place of safety, others can be notified.

This post is a bit more graphic than usual, but I believe the situation warranted it.

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They love their relative Dolores Bibiano, 23, they saw what was happening and tried to get her to leave her common-law-husband Marcos Sanchez Abrego, 29. The couple had reportedly been together for 6 years and they had 3 children together. Delores Bibiano also had another child from a previous relationship.

The family has reported that Abreo was ‘agressive’ and that he made promises to change. But they say he didn’t. They tried to get her to leave him, but she wouldn’t. As she was an adult, they couldn’t make her leave. And they could not stop what happened.

They were aware of an incident in Nov. of 2006, when Abrego is accused of hitting her in the eye and leaving it swollen and bruised. After pulling her into a bedroom, he is alleged to have hit her with his hands and after the beating he then sat down to watch TV. He ended up in jail, but allegedly reached out to her by sending her a letter saying the two of them would

“ride for life”

When he got out of jail, the couple went back together.

There were witnesses as to what happened on Sunday. Allegedly Abrego and Bibiano were arguing when Abrego is alleged to have punched Dolores Bibiano, then grabbed her by the hair and dragged her upstairs. His grasp on her hair so strong that some of her hair was yanked from her head and left on the ground.

When police arrived they found Delores Bibiano behind the apartment. Her face was swollen, her mouth full of blood. She complained of her back hurting. And she was unable to move. She allegedly named Abrego as her assailant.

In her pocket authorities found a note. 

If anything ever happens to me, it read, please call my sister.

In the apartment police found three of the four children, they were not harmed but reportedly saw at least a part of the violence. Dolores Bibiano suffered a broken neck. She needs surgery to realign her neck so that she will be able to sit. She is paralysed.

As I said, the family has a message and the message is for anyone else who may be living in a similiar situation as Dolores Bibiano

“It’s not worth staying in a relationship like this,” she said. “It’s not worth ending (up) like her.”

When police arrived they reportedly saw Abrego jump a fence and run from the area. He was captured about a block away from his mother’s house. Abrego was taken into custody and charged with attempted murder.

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I could not say it any better than the family. The only thing I might add, is that if a decision is made to leave- do it safely. As it has been mentioned on here many times, the most dangerous time can be at the time the abuse victim decides to leave.

Make contact with a domestic violence agency and make plans on how to extricate yourself safely. Do not tell that you are leaving, just leave. If you decide you must tell, that can be done later- by phone or letter-  while you are in a safe place.

There is help for you. But you must be the one to make the decision and you must ask for the help. And always keep in mind- leaving is not selfish. You do for yourself but you also do it for your children and for your family.

How do you know you are in danger? As someone said here the other day- trust your gut. If you have suspicion or feel fear, then you know. Trust your instincts. You may tell yourself that he is only kidding, or only angry for right now and doesn’t really mean it. But if you felt that fear, then denying it to yourself and others will not change it.

This was first posted at Crime News by D.P.

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Clarification on the Nov. arrest, this article says Abrego spent a month in jail on other charges. And when arrested by police for the beating he gave his girlfriend, he was already wanted for misdemeanor assault charges. No explanation on that, whether it referred to an assault on Bibiano or someone else.

Abrego charges attempted murder and evading arrest.

mysanantonio.com

According to the above article, 25 people in San Antonio lost their lives due to domestic violence last year. That is only one city out of how many cities in the U.S.?

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Family says that Dolores Bibiano is paralyzed from the waist down. She is still on a ventilator but is no longer listed in critical condition. Family has started a fund for her.

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