It only happens in other peoples homes, or neighborhoods

We see so many articles where someone is murdered, abuse was found, severe neglect. Those kind of stick out in your mind. But articles like this often get overlooked, though they are no less important.

Ronald Fraze was arrested for abusing his wife Shelly. Not a really outstanding story you think. It happens, they had an argument, words were exchanged,  he decided to win the argument. According to the article I have found, he put his hands around her neck, and according to the District Attorney Lisa Green:

“We view choking and strangulation as serious and we take a pretty aggressive stance,” said deputy district attorney Lisa Green. “When a man puts his hand around a woman’s neck like this, he’s either trying to shut her up or stop her from breathing.” http://www.bakersfield.com/local/story/5867278p-5882409c.html

Now this wasn’t the home of a violent drug dealer. This was the home of the fire chief. A person who would have a good standing in the community. A person used to authority, used to having people listen when he speaks.

Now we don’t hear what led up to the assault. Only that it was an argument. Maybe she had done or was planning to do something bad? What could be so bad that a man would choose to choke or strangle his wife? She was not charged with any crime. And he certainly didn’t mention anything in his statement to the press. As a matter of fact, according to him, it was “unfortunate incidents that escalated and shouldn’t have and then got blown out of proportion,” He talks about the stress they family was under, their home had been burglarized, and someone was passing their checks. That is unfortunate. And I do feel sorry that happened. But does he suspect his wife of that? Does he feel that is her fault in some way?  What I feel is unfortunate is that their 16 and 6 year old sons were witnesses to that “unfortunate incident”. They saw their mother being attacked, and I can only imagine the fear and confusion they felt over what to do, as the attacker was their father.

According to the police spokesman Det. Ryan Paslay, they are not aware of any other domestic calls to the Fraze address. But it makes you wonder doesn’t it? Many times domestic violence “incidents” are not reported. At least not until something extreme happens. And this may not have been a murder, but I am sure to this family, and to their family, this felt pretty extreme. This was something that they won’t forget. That “incident” is recorded in their minds for a long time, much like a photograph. They may forgive, they might even push it out of their minds, much like a photograph shoved into a drawer. But, just like running across that photograph in a drawer, they will come across it again. A raised voice, an angry face- will bring it back again. Even if they forgive, and try to forget- that incident will change the dyanamics of the family. It may be subtle or it may be dramatic, but it will change.

According to the article, Mrs. Fraze took the boys and went to a relatives home after Mr. Fraze’s arrest. According to Mr. Fraze, the family is together, back at home. Often families will reconcile after a domestic violence ‘incident”. Many people don’t understand that. But an incident with a husband and father is different than an incident with a neighbor or person down the street. There are a lot more emotional bonds there. Maybe they will be one of the lucky ones, who is able to work it out. I hope if they do reconcile, they will get some intensive counseling. And I hope they really take that counseling to heart. Because without some help, it is likely that there will be another “incident”. Domestic violence involves a lot of complex family dyanamics, and it involves a lot of anger and control issues. Without some outside help, studies show it will likely happen again. I wish them lots of luck.

Who are they, and who are those kids?

In my previous post about Nixzmary Brown, remember I mentioned that the mayor was begging people to report if they know of or suspected a child was being abused? One lady did. Tracie Lee Dean saw a 3 year old girl in a convenience store on 01-15-06. She first saw her alone, and the girl said hi. That was all. She said she was first struck by the vacant look in the child's eyes and by her behavior. Then she saw the girl with a man, and said she just felt some tension there. She watched them get into their vehicle and copied down their license plate.

Tracie went home and felt disturbed by child. She started looking on some missing children's websites, and found a child that she thought might be a match in Ohio. So she called the detective on the case. Tracie felt that no one was taking her seriously. She called a police department and gave them the license plate number, and they said there was no problem with the vehicle (turns out the plate didn't match the vehicle it was on). After making several calls and feeling that she wasn't being taken seriously, she went back to the store and asked to see the security tape. While she was viewing it, a police officer came into the store and Tracie asked him to view the tape and told him the story. He agreed to investigate and that is what led to finding the little 3 year old girl. Doctor's say there are signs that she has been repeatedly raped. They also think her 17 year old brother may have been sexually abused.

The child is not the missing girl from Ohio. But she had been living a nightmare. The parents at first gave several false names to police. One of those names was a convicted sex offender. They are taking their fingerprints to see if they can confirm and identity for them. They may have been using the names of Jack Wiley and Glenna Faye Cavender aka Rose Wiley or Glenna Faye Marshall. They have presented themselves to area agencies as either common law husband and wife, and as a father and daughter. They are still investigating to find out just who these people really are.

The reason I really wanted to post this was not only because of the domestic violence aspect, and not only because of the 17 year old and the 3 year old. Though that would have been enough reason to post it.

But I also wanted to tell Tracie's story. She saw, she felt something was disturbingly wrong. She reported. She felt dismissed. But she didn't give up. She kept calling. And talking about it, until she finally got that police officer to listen to her. And thank goodness that she did. Because of her, these children are now out of that home. The point is, sometimes that is what you have to do. You call once, if you don't see any results, then you call again. Until someone listens. This girl was a stranger to Tracie. Yet she made it her business to step out of her safe world, and work for this unknown child. And because of Tracie, these kids are out of there.

http://www.timesdaily.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060125/APN/601250547&cachetime=5

Other cases I have been watching.

New York media has been giving extensive coverage to the Nixzmary Brown case. On Jan. 11, paramedics were called to come to a Brooklyn apartment There they found a starved, emaciated 7 year old girl who had been severely abused over a period of time. I am not going to go into any details, but let’s just say there was severe abuse. Yet the other children in the household appeared to be relatively healthy. This has become a hot political issue in New York. As several neighbors were aware of the child’s circumstances, as well as several agencies, the Mayor is asking that if you see a child, who appears to be abused- he is asking that you do report it, and is promising that it will be investigated. As there is extensive coverage in http://www.nypost.com/ and http://www.nytimes.com/ I wanted to just mention this case, but won’t go into any details.

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The defense attorney for Nixzmary’s mother,Nixzaliz Santiago, is alleging that she was a “battered and bullied” woman and that she was too afraid of her boyfriend Cesar Rodriguez to intervene in her defense.

http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/67395.htm

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There are two other cases that won’t get a lot of media coverage. Partly because of economics, partly because they lived through it.

First do you remember what life was like at ages 13 through 16 if you are female? Or if you are a male, life at age 10 through 13? You were just beyond the age when your toys were your priority, and taking tenative steps into independence. A time when your peer group probably was a priority in your life, you were beginning to be aware that the opposite sex didn’t have cooties, and maybe were fun to be with. You liked your TV shows, maybe you skateboarded, or were into video games. On 01-19-06 police were called to investigate the welfare of a young child. Someone had called because they thought it was so strange to see an 8 year old child pushing around a loaded grocery cart. When police arrived, what they found was a shock. This “little” girl, turned out to be a 16 year old. And the story she told was just as big a shock. She told them that she and her brother had been imprisioned in a bathroom for 5 years, whenever her family wasn’t home. They didn’t attend school. They weren’t allowed out of the apartment, and they were seldom fed. Living in the household was her mother, her grandmother, her mother’s live in boyfriend, her brother and three other healthy children. She stated that the grandmother had opened the door to the bathroom, she shoved her into the bathroom and locked her in. She gathered up food from the home and loaded a grocery cart. Then she ran. She was taken to a hospital, and police went to check on her brother. The family said the girl was crazy, the boy had been sent to Cal. to live with an aunt. A call was made to the aunt, who confirmed that the boy was living with her. After talking with the girl again, police go back to the apartment and searched and found the boy. He was also taken to the hospital. Doctor’s have described the children as having the appearance of holocaust children. The 16 year old girl, weighed about 40 pounds. The 13 year old boy, weighed about 30 pounds. Somehow, photos of the apartment leaked out. Among the photos, was one of a fully stocked refrigerator, with a drawer full of baloney. A landlord has reported that he was told that the boy and girl left the apartment a year ago, and had moved to Cal. to live with an aunt. Because the children are still alive, their names won’t be heard. But, the alleged mother was Regina Rios, the alleged grandmother was Esther Rios, and the boyfriend was Thomas Granados. They all three have been charged with felony neglect, and false imprisonment. The boy and girl are recovering, the three healthy children have been placed with Children’s Services.

The thought of any child in this country starving to death, to me is just incomprehensible. But in both of these cases, the fact that they had plenty to eat, they had other healthy children, this is just beyond my comprehension. What would make a parent, slowly starve one of their children to death? To watch them slowly wither away in front of their eyes? The only thing I can really say, is how could any three adults do this, let alone two that are supposed to be the children’s closest relatives? And why would they do this? Some things, I think are just beyond comprehension.  

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The attorney for Nixzaliz Brown, the mother of Nixmary says that she has recieved letters from Cesar Rodriguez saying he was sorry for what happened. The attorney for Cesar Rodriguez however says that his client denies writing that he was sorry. And further says that his client said “What am I going to apologize for?”

http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/nixzmary_dad__sorry_letters_regionalnews_alex_ginsberg.htm

Nixaliz Santiago intends to testify at her trial that she was too depressed and battered to come to her daughter’s rescue. “She will say that she tried to the best of her ability to stop him. And ‘best of her ability’ is maybe what this case hangs on” Defense also states that Santiago was depressed from a miscarraige that she suffered the previous year. Prosecution says there is no evidence that proves that Santiago was battered or depressed. Santiago’s attorney says that Rodriguez delivered the final blow to little Nixmary and Rodriguez says that Santiago was the one who did it.

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/433262p-364943c.html

Peeking on the other side of the drapes.

Did you ever look at homes when you were taking a drive, and wonder what they were like on the other side of the drapes? Maybe you are in a more affluent neighborhood and wonder what it is like to plan those wonderful vacations, have a generous budget to build and decorate with? Don’t you just imagine the loving parents, the polite smiling children, the happy home? Or maybe it is a more modest neighborhood, and you can imagine a yard full of neighborhood kids, with parents who work together to raise their family, and manage their schedule of work, kids activities, and chores to be done. Maybe you are driving by an apartment complex with all those rows of windows, people living together…..yet very separate lives.  Often, not knowing neighbors or where they work or who their families are. Yet, you still seem to imagine those families, sitting together for meals, smiling, happy families.

If you watched TV in the 60’s, you saw those types of families. The biggest problem you might see addressed, is who broke the neighbor’s window. And of course that would all be resolved with everyone saying “I’m sorry” by the end of the half hour or one hour show. More recent  TV shows, may show somewhat more severe problems, but still nothing that can’t be solved within the show’s time slot. Now isn’t that they type of family you imagine behind other people’s windows? And that is ususally they way most people like to portray themselves, in their respective neighborhoods.

But sometimes, whether it is down the block, or the next city over- a crime gets committed. And in the neighborhood gossip, or in the news media, you  get very different pictures of just what happens behind some other people’s drapes.

There are several domestic violence cases being discussed in the news right now.  Probably leading is that Rachel and Lillian Entwistle were found murdered in bed on 01-22-06. Now the hubby hasn’t been named a suspect in the case, but since he left for Britain over the weekend and isn’t sure if he will be coming back for the funerals, authorities are not sure when they will be able to interview him, though I have read that they have talked with him by phone. You can read more about this at http://lostinlimaohio.blogspot.com/ or at http://huffcrimeblog.com/ two of my favorite blogs.

Steve Huff is also covering Ricky Holland http://huffcrimeblog.com Ricky Holland is the 7 year old boy, who reportedly ran away from home in Aug. of last year. Despite many searches, he was never located. Wed. his adoptive mother Lisa was charged with domestic assault, allegedly for an assault against the husband Tim. Ricky’s remains were found and identified this week. His parents have been charged with obstruction of justice and are being held on one million dollar bond.  Both are considered material witnesses in the other’s case. Each alleged parent is blaming the other in Ricky’s death. http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060128/NEWS01/60128002/1001/RSS

Hi, welcome to my new blog.

I am new to this, this is my first attempt at writing a blog. So if you see a mistake or a problem, be kind please. Just look over it, as I am still learning. And I can be a slow learner sometimes.

If you came to this site looking for decorating ideas and tips for organizing your closets, you might be disappointed. But if you came hoping to see what reality is like, settle in, cause it is going to be a bumpy ride.

Let’s look behind those nice drapes in the windows.

What I plan to write about is- what is going on behind those decorating problems, things like some people’s realities.

This is a Crime Blog. Real Crime. Real People. Real Tragedies. There are many crime blogs out there. But I am going to pretty much limit myself to domestic violence. What I hope to do is document those crimes that hit closest to home. Domestic Violence.

Domestic Violence is one of the most puzzling of crimes. It is often ongoing, with the victims and perpetrators entwined so closely in the situation, that it can be very difficult to help a victim get out of a situation.

Domestic Violence is often thought of as being a problem between a husband and wife, but in this blog I will be covering a wider range as the stories present themselves. I will be including any type of violence that occurs between members of the same household. That may be physical abuse, sexual abuse, murders, whatever I see out there. Some of the stories may be pretty horrific, so bring your kleenexes and something to settle your stomach.

Hopefully we will all learn from my blog. Things like the fact that domestic violence doesn’t just happen in poor neighborhoods. Or to other peoples families. It can happen to anyone, any family. Poor home or nice home, it happens. The abuser may be a criminal or a community leader. It may start as a little shove, but can easily escalate to a hospital visit or even to murder. It may start as an unusual closness to a child and escalate to molestation or rape.

Most people know at least one person who is currently being abused or has been abused in the past. If you don’t know anyone like that, you are lucky. If you do know someone currently being abused, I will eventually be adding links for places where you can learn more about the problems and solutions. And good luck.

 

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