Special Request from the CCB

I have a special request from fellow CCB member Crime Scene Blog. He has written about an endangered missing child Mary Elizabeth Nunes. I would like to join CSB and the CCB in asking that my readers please click over, read the story and memorize the pictures related to this abduction. No matter what country you might be living in, you may have information related to this and not even be aware of it.

Missing: Mary Elizabeth Nunes

A Couple’s Problem

I have seen domestic violence called a “couple’s problem”. That phrase really bothers me. Relationship violence is a community problem. It reaches out and touches whole communities. From the witnesses to the abuse, the family members, the neighbors, friends and even the children who first learn of death when they learn of a friend’s mothers death. It uses community resources through the police, hospitals, ambulances and prosecutors, judges and court employees as well as others that I am sure are involved but I have forgotten. Another way it involves the community is at the workplace.

Reader D.P. sent me an article from Oregon Live today.  Oregon has been hit with some pretty high profile relationship violence cases this year. And they have been responding with changes in their laws, and in how they look at and handle domestic violence cases.

The article is entitled This violence doesn’t stay at home and it contains a quote that I really want to share.

Domestic violence doesn’t act like some family pet and stay at home, out of sight and mind. It follows its victims — and its perpetrators

Oregon is working within their state agencies to raise awareness about domestic violence for their employees. And they are taking action to assist affected employees to find resources for assistance and to protect them while they are on the job. Why would they as employers do this? Because relationship violence affects them through the financial cost to them and because of the human suffering.

Work is one place that most people, even people in hiding from an abusive spouse has to attend. In order to separate from an abusive spouse or partner, they have to be financially independent. Yet that is one place that the spouse or partner knows to find them. Many changes Oregon state agencies are implementing are small. Moving an employee away from windows or other measures in developing a personal safety plan. Other changes are to make sure that all have access to lists of resources where they are available to the employees, teaching supervisors how to recognize signs of domestic violence and how to assist the employee if they recognize problems. Employees suffering from DV, stalking or sexual assault are also given time off to allow them to take steps to protect their families. The measures they are taking will cost them time and money. So why would an employer do this?

An employee who suffers from relationship violence will many times have to take off work due to injuries or emotional upset (article says that lost time and productivity costs about $5 billion a year.) Victims may have an increased need for health care (the article quotes the Center for Disease Protection as saying that domestic violence costs our health care system about $4.1 billion a year.) And though the article doesn’t mention it, a victim who fears losing their job may not tell. And if the perpetrator shows up at their work and gets violent then other workers could also become either a direct or indirect (silent) victim. An indirect or so called silent victim is those persons who were witnesses to the crime and the emotional distress they suffer or who lose a friend/familymember/coworker due to domestic violence which can affect their job effectiveness. So not taking action costs an employer also.

By starting the changes in the state agencies, Oregon is hoping that private employers will also take steps voluntarily to make their own changes to protect their employees.

I applaud what Oregon is doing and hope that other states and the private employers will follow suit. The first step is in recognizing the fact that the problem can affect any workplace, the second step is to take action. Oregon is doing both.

Domestic Violence- Part II

What is domestic violence and how does it differ from domestic abuse? Are they the same thing or two different things?

Domestic abuse refers to when one partner in a couple attempts to control the other partner. They may use fear, guilt, shame, humiliation, isolation, financial means and/or manipulation. But they stop short of actual violence.

Domestic violence (or relationship violence) is when one partner actually resorts to some means of physical violence or threats of physical violence in order to gain control.

You may hear of a person being accused of or charged with domestic violence say- “I didn’t deserve to be charged” “but I never hit her!” That is possible. Domestic violence may also consist of pushing, kicking, forcible restraint, hair pulling, threats with a weapon or using a weapon, slapping, biting, pinching, forcible sexual acts, shoving, burning, breaking furniture, threats against the victim- or their pets, children or family members or preventing them from calling for emergency assistance. A lack of a physical injury does not prevent a person from being charged with domestic violence as long as there is evidence of any violent physical contact.

Domestic abuse. Attempts to control and dominate by means other than violent physical contact. It may be withholding money for necessities or other financial means. Some may refuse to allow the partner to work or they may spend excessively so that the partner is forced to use all their income to pay for the necessities. Isolating the victim by preventing contact with friends or family. Repeated excess criticism- as a person a parent or their accomplishments or mental status, name calling, swearing, threats and other intimidating behavior. Demanding continuous contact and/or complete accounts of how time or money was spent. When domestic abuse no longer works for the control and domination, physical violence may occur. Or physical violence may be occurring along with the domestic abuse. The victim may be afraid to tell about the violence- or may not wish others to think badly of their partner if they choose to stay so they may deny domestic violence.

helpguide.org                                              womensweb.ca

We all know of the deaths and serious injuries that have occurred. But there are other results also and they can last even longer than the relationship. A loss of self esteem on the part of the victim, feelings of helplessness and other emotional scarring. Fear that can be long lasting- even after the relationship has ended. Many times families will have a lower standard of living due to the financial domination. Depression and sometimes suicide. Sexual dysfunction is not uncommon. Because of previous abuse, many will lose their ability to trust others- they trusted the one they loved and it failed so they lose the ability to trust in their own judgement.

Yet all the while the abuse and/or violence may not be continuous. It may be sporadic with periods of relatively normal sometimes even loving behavior in between. Any violent or abusive actions are excused- tired, drunk, high, someone else’s fault (often the victim’s) or even that the victim’s judgement is faulty- it didn’t happen like that. After a violent episode the perpetrator may apoligize to the victim- yet all the while deny to others that the violence occurred or occurred in that way.

An abusive relationship is a risky relationship. And a violent relationship is a dangerous one. And you never really know when one is going to turn into the other. Because of the possibility that the violence can turn against the children, other family members and even strangers the risks are not only to the victim but to everyone surrounding the victim. In every abusive relationship this should also be taken into consideration.

Keep yourself safe, your family safe and your community safe.

What is Domestic Violence? Part I

I am guilty of using the term domestic violence. That term refers to violence in the home. Domestic violence is actually a legal term, and the definition will vary from state to state. The reason for the legal definitions is to specify who will be charged under the domestic violence laws in each state and who will be charged with other charges. In other words in some states a person who complains that their spouse or live in partner hit them will be charged under the domestic violence section, whereas someone who complains that their date or boyfriend/girlfriend (who do not live together) will be charged with some other type of assault. Same offense, but different definitions. Domestic violence should probably be more appropriately called relationship violence. Two people who have formed a relationship together (and may or may not live together) and violence has occurred.

womenslaw.org                     jrsa.org

Did you know that their are different types of domestic violence? Experts have defined different types of domestic violence as the following:

  Common domestic violence- This person is seldom abusive outside the home. There is usually no sexual or emotional abuse. The abuser may be male or female. There are often very few incidents of violence and those are not usually a part of a pattern of control over the victim.

  Intimate terrorism- This person uses violence as a means of control. Even though the violence may have occurred only once or twice, the victim is at a higher risk of violent acts if the relationship ends and the abuser is more likely to plan their revenge. Even though the abuser may act enraged during an act of violence, often they show no physiological signs of rage. The feigning of rage is part of an act used to mask and  increase the intimidation and control.

  Violent resistance- When one partner begins controlling behaviors or becomes frightening, the other partner may react violently. It is a reaction to a perceived threat and is not a part of a pattern of control. May be a one time occurrence.

  Mutual violent control- basically it is when both partners in a relationship are physically violent, and there are attempts at controlling behavior on the parts of both parties. Though both parties may be violent, studies show that the woman is most likely to receive serious injury.

  Dysphoric-borderline violence- Often has a great emotional attachment on the victim. During an abusive incident will show physiological signs of rage. The abuser may be emotionally dependent, and may react violently out of frustration. May have problems of emotional adjustment problems, depression and/or fears of abandonment.

psychpage.com

I am not an expert but I do know these things. Domestic violence is dangerous. All forms of domestic violence can lead to serious injury or death. It does take an experienced domestic violence expert to distinguish what type of domestic violence may be happening, and to assess the risk of danger to the victim. There are domestic violence agencies available to help a victim to assess their risk and assist them in remaining safe. If you have been the victim of an abusive incident, I do recommend that you make contact with a domestic violence agency and ask for their assistance. They do not make the decisions for you, decisions to stay or leave are yours. But they can talk with you and counsel you in what services they offer, what help is available to you and do a risk assessment.

Please stay safe!

How can it all go so wrong?

Arthur Jackson, 32, and Lisa Ford Jackson married in 2003. Lisa Jackson was the mother to 2 children from a previous relationship and neighbors indicate they seemed made a happy family. Three years ago the couple had a daughter together. Neighbors have indicated the two seemed to be good parents, they played with their children and seemed to get along well. According to at least one neighbor Jackson treated the older children as if they were his own and

“He was a very good dad to them. He played with them, bought them a basketball goal and hung it in the driveway. They played all the time.”

But a few months ago, things seemed to change. At least one neighbor indicates the family may have been struggling financially. About a month ago Arthur Jackson moved out of the home. That is when they began coming to police attention. Some neighbors have indicated that they did see Jackson at the home at times, and they thought the relationship was at least civil. But police have indicated that in Sept. they received a call from Arthur Jackson. He said that he believed the kids were at the home by themselves. Police responded to the home, but evidently found no problems and no report was written. About a week ago they received a call from Lisa Jackson. She indicated to police that her estranged husband was at her door and would not leave. Police responded, but when they arrived Jackson was gone. They reportedly talked with Lisa Jackson about filing a restraining order, but it is unknown if she had followed through.

On Fri. Arthur Jackson brought his daughter to a church daycare where one of his relatives worked. The child appeared bloody, but was uninjured. Jackson indicated that he had killed some people, and intended to kill more and left. Police were notified via a 911 call and the relative gave police names of relatives which police began checking for indications that Jackson might be there.

Jackson was located in his vehicle near one relatives home and a police standoff began.

A check at Lisa Jackson’s home revealed she had been shot and killed. Her two children from a previous relationship were also found in the home. They were aged 10 and 13, they had also been shot and killed.

At the standoff many things were happening. A nearby school was put on lockdown and children were unable to leave for a period of time. Eventually they were released to parents through a back door, according to some reports it was a process that lasted until about 7 pm when the last child was evacuated. Neighbors were also evacuated from their homes. Police had blocked Jackson with a vehicle and negotiators were talking with him by loudspeaker and cellphone for several hours.

Police indicated that Jackson did talk with negotiators. They said he was agitated at times and did put his gun to head some. But they also said he did talk about surrendering at times. After about 7 hours of negotiation Jackson rammed the police vehicle that was blocking his vehicle, he drove through a yard and escaped. A police chase ensued for about 10 miles. The chase ended when Jackson’s vehicle drove into a lake. When police pulled the vehicle from the lake, they found that Jackson had an gunshot wound to his head.

Some reports indicate that the 3 year old daughter has been placed in temporary foster care.

star-telegram.com             dallasnews.com            kristv.com

dallasnews.com       star-telegram.com        kltv.com

How can it all go so wrong? I don’t know. All I know is that it can.

Many of the articles talk about what a nice guy Arthur Jackson was. And what a nice woman Lisa Jackson was. What nice kids they were. And what a happy couple and nice family they were.

But sometimes things don’t work out. And the why is really not as important as how it is handled when it doesn’t work out. It is important to recognize when a problem is developing and quickly respond to that. If there are threats made, if there are any stalking behaviors, any previous violence and especially if a police officer, social worker or domestic violence professional indicates that you might want to take out a protection order, take it seriously. No matter how nice a guy or woman they might be and no matter how good the relationship used to be.

Of course once you get to that step, you should also take measures to protect yourself and your family. Seek a shelter, move to a different address, stay with friends or relatives that they don’t know or don’t know their address.

After the alert

Last Wednesday 23 year old Crystal Tijerina left her parents home and they were concerned about her. By Thursday a public alert was issued asking for reports of her whereabouts. It was believed she might be suicidal and armed.

She was heard from next when a report came in from her ex-husband’s home. A neighbor knew of the alert and had seen her enter the ex-husband’s home so he called police. She had showed up at the home in violation of a protective order against her. Police responded at 5:45 pm, but when they arrived she was gone. Police say that visit had been relatively non-confrontational. There was a 2 year old child in the home at the time and the ex-husband had family pick the child up as a precaution. The protection order also covered the child.

Less than 30 minutes later the boyfriend stumbled out of the home with a bullet wound to his neck and was seen by the neighbor. Police were called back to the scene. Tijerina had returned to the home and this time showed a handgun. As the ex-husband attempted to flee the home, she fired. Though the  ex-husband had heard a shot as he was leaving the home, police had to wait for a swat team to arrive. The swat team surrounded the home and as a precaution some neighbors were evacuated from their homes. But when police made entry to the home it was determined that Crystal Tijerina was dead, police say her death was at her own hands.

Police have announced that Tijerina’s family were not aware of any danger to her ex-husband. The ititial alert was from a concern for Crystal’s safety. There was concern that the ex-husband’s injuries might be serious because of the location of the wound, but he was taken to the hospital, treated and released.  

There was a history of previous domestic violence complaints. Crystal Tijerina was arrested several times in 2006.

sltrib.com                sltrib.com               heraldextra.com            desertnews.com

The majority of domestic violence seems to be perpetrated by men against women. More women die than men. But men do not go unscathed. Men do die from domestic violence also. In this one he was lucky and survived. But just like any other victim of domestic violence- he is left with the memory and the scars of that day.

I know it may not seem macho or manly. But men do sometimes need to take out protective orders. And men who do need to take that step also need to take precautions for their safety. Any time there is a dispute and one party of the dispute becomes suicidal, then the other party needs to take precautions.

This is purely speculation. The 2 year old child that has been mentioned has not been mentioned as her child. But I do wonder if the child was their child in common and if this was over a child custody dispute?

DV is a woman’s issue right?

                                        ribbon-clipart-picture30.png 

Wrong. DV is a social issue. Men are/can be affected in many different ways.

By having daughters, sisters, mothers and friends who may be affected. If they know someone who is being abused or who dies as a result of domestic violence men are as affected as any other relative or friend. And for themselves, their sons, their brothers and fathers and friends.

Men may run into it in the workplace or on the street. Or if they are dating, they could be caught up in DV problems in a past relationship of the girlfriend. They can be endangered by it by becoming involved with the girlfriend, by attempting to stop an abusive incident between a known or unknown couple or by being an innocent bystander. Or they can become victims of DV through a wife or girlfriend. On a lesser note, men are affected when coworkers are unable to work due to a domestic violence incident.

The fight to end DV was begun by women it is true. And you will find that many survivors of abusive relationships do belong to the groups. But it isn’t enough.

Men are needed too. Men to be good role models for their sons and daughters. Men to raise their voices and say it is past time to end! Men to take a stand against DV, join the groups and tell others that abuse is not what makes a man. Because it isn’t enough to stand silently by anymore. In order to end DV we need to change the culture and attitudes that foster it.

There are organizations all over the country that are for men to show their stand against domestic violence. I will be posting a few. If you find more, please list them.

Florida is looking for some good men

orlandosentinel.com             Men Against Domestic Violence Fla.

Men’s Network Against DV        TX Men Against DV/SA         Strong Men Don’t Bully

Please, show that you take a stand.

Have you posted the Ribbon?

Are you flying the ribbon? If you have posted the purple Domestic Violence Awareness ribbon, why don’t you show it off? Post a link to your blog,  journal, myspace or website here!

After A Stop At The Bar

On Wednesday Edward A. Bailey, 26, allegedly returned home after a stop at the bar. And when he got home, his girlfriend allegedly confronted him. I’ve not seen what time he allegedly returned home.

Police were called to the home on a report of an assault at about 3 pm on Wednesday and they found the girlfriend unconcious on the bedroom floor. Bailey told officers that when the girlfriend confronted him, she tried to scratch his eyes out. So he punched her- 9 times. He told police that he attempted to clean her up, but couldn’t stop the blood coming out of her eyes so he called for help.

The girlfriend was taken to the hospital and doctors there told police that she had 3 broken ribs, a collapsed lung, numerous bruises and other injuries. She also had head injuries, and doctors believed those were from blunt force trauma.

Meanwhile police were investigating. They have reported they saw signs of a struggle in the home, as well as holes in the walls. The telephone lines were cut. And in a nearby alley police say they found two table legs with blood and drywall dust on them. Police suspect she may have been beaten with the table legs.

According to reports Billings admitted to police that he had burned the clothing he was wearing at the time of the altercation. At least one report indicates that after the altercation, Bailey may have gone to his mother’s place to sleep for a few hours before calling for help.

I’ve not seen any reports of the girlfriend’s condition other than that she remained hospitalized on Thursday.

Bailey has been charged with attempted murder.

billingsgazette.com          greatfallstribune.com            montananewsstation.com   kulr8.com

greatfallstribune.com        montananewsstation.com     montananewsstation.com   helenair.com

Many a couple has argued after one party has decided to go to the bar. Most don’t end up in physical fights though. His excuse is that she tried to scratch his eyes out. Now just supposing that is true, he had several choices. If she did do that he could have left to go to his mom’s. He could have said forget it, we will discuss it tomorrow. He could have not stopped at the bar. He could have called police and filed domestic violence charges on her.

But he didn’t choose to do that. Two table legs and broken bones later she is now in a hospital. And he is trying to come up with a story. In my opinion the story came a bit late. It would have been much more believable before the “nap” and attempts to clean up the scene. However, scratching his eye’s out sounds more like a defensive move to me.

There’s a New Crime ‘Roll in Town

There is a new crime blogroll in town. I am now a proud member of the Coalition of Crime Blogs. The CCB has some advantages. We have a public forum that anyone can join. And you can get a ‘badge’ for your own blog to show that you are a reader of the CCB blogs.

The forum is three tiered. Anyone can join as a member. Crime bloggers who wish to join the ‘roll can request blogger membership. And the third tier is the managers group, where we discussed setting up the blogroll, LOL.

Have you ever thought about becoming a crime blogger but didn’t know if you could? You get a personal page at this forum where you can practice. If you decide to begin a blog, members there can offer advice to get you started. Or maybe you don’t want to blog- but do occasionally like a way to show a crime article that has caught your attention. Maybe you just want to read or maybe you have a crime article that you want to bring to the bloggers attention. There is a section on the new forum where crime news will be posted. (I use it to post non-DV crimes that have caught my attention.)

You do need to join the forum to post, but joining is easy. And you get to make new friend’s :D.

So check out the forum and check out the new blogroll that I am adding on the left.

Coalition of Crime Bloggers

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