Who’s Thinking of the Child?

Her name is Mary Elizabeth Nunes and she is 12. She was born in 1996, the same year that her parents were divorcing or got divorced. Since then there have been battles. By the time she was 7, her mother had filed a complaint of sexual abuse against the father. However, authorities were unable to substantiate that complaint.

By the age of 8 there were more complaints of abuse and by this time there were complaints of violence against the mother. Those charges have not been fully investigated, but maybe not for the reasons you might think. With that complaint Dr. Genevieve (San Martin) Kelley gave a videotape to authorities that she alleged proved the allegations of abuse. Authorities are not saying what was in the videos, but attention began turning toward Dr. Kelly and her relationship with Mary.

That was in 2004 and also in 2004 Mary was found to have health problems.

She has also been diagnosed with arterial venous malformation (AVM) – an abnormal collection of blood vessels and vascular formations that cause migraines, leg weakness, and complications that require specialized medical treatment and observation.

That was in 2004, and also in 2004 Mary, her mother Dr. Genevieve San Martin, M.D Kelley and her stepfather Scott Kelley first moved to Colorado, then they vanished.

There is a lot of concern for Mary, both for mental health and physical health reasons.The US Marshalls have been trying to locate the family and the family has been profiled on America’s Most Wanted several times. Various charges have been filed against Genevieve San Martin Kelley and her husband Scott Kelley for the disappearance.

Missing Poster    AMW    newhampshirelakeandmountains.com  AMW     

usmarshalls.gov     usmarshalls.gov    crimesceneblog.com

I will be the first to say that I believe that sometimes sexual abuse is not detected the first and sometimes even the second time it is investigated. And I also believe that no child should be sent to their father’s if it is found that he is sexually abusing the child. However, it has never been proven that the father was abusing the child. The mother moved the child to Colorado during the second investigation effectively stopping the second investigation. And she also submitted a videotape that put her care of the child in question. Going on the run doesn’t solve the problem, it just adds problems.

So while my first instinct might be to wonder if perhaps the mother might have taken the correct action, I stop to think. If the child has been sexually molested as the mother first alleged in 2003, wouldn’t she wish to get the child into sexual abuse treatment? She is a doctor, isn’t that what doctors recommend? A child who has been sexually abused needs a stable home life. Something that would be impossible to provide on the run, never knowing when they would have to run again. A child with physical health problems needs a doctor who is familiar with the child’s medical history and access to their previous health records. Again, impossible to provide when on the run.

If the child was not subjected to sexual abuse, then she was subjected to the trauma of psychological abuse and alienation of her feelings toward her father. I believe that psychological abuse is every bit as traumatic to a child as physical abuse and often has longer lasting results.

Born into a failing marriage, custody disputes and allegations by the age of 7 and 8, then on the run between the ages of 8-12. What does this do to a child? However this works out, whatever has been done to the child, a full investigation needs to be done and the child will need professional care.

Please check out some of the links on this case. They contain pictures of the mother, the stepfather, and of the child. They also contain information about things to be on the lookout for and more information on the events of the case. Then keep an eye out for the child, please.

The tip on this case came from Crime Scene Blog and more info can be found there. I want to thank him for the tip on this one.

Loss of Temper

Many times you will hear victims of domestic violence say “he/she wouldn’t really hurt me, doesn’t want to harm me, they just lost their temper.” What they mean is they lost control of their temper. And that loss of control can lead to unintended consequences.

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It started with a wife looking for her husband. And she found him. Allegedly she found him with his brother. At a party and with another woman. And that of course led to an argument. The dispute allegedly spilled out into the neighborhood street.

But the wife called her cousin and asked to be picked up, to be removed from the situation. When the cousin arrived, she got in the vehicle and attempted to leave. Allegedly the husband and his brother also got into their vehicle. And they allegedly chased the vehicle the wife was in. Allegedly they also used their vehicle to ram the vehicle the wife and her cousin were in. Then allegedly the husband got out of the vehicle he was in and jumped on top of the vehicle his wife and her cousin were in and began beating on the windows. The cousin who was driving attempted to drive off.  

The husband reportedly fell off of the vehicle and hit the roadway. And the vehicle may have driven over him, though that doesn’t seem clear. The husband was pronounced dead.

The cousin drove about a mile away from the scene then abandoned his vehicle, fleeing on foot. He turned himself into police a few hours later. He was arrested on suspicion of a hit and run accident. Police have stated that had he remained at the scene, he most likely would not have been arrested as he was apparently a victim. The cousin reportedly told police that he left the scene because he was in this country illegally and feared being deported.

I have not seen whether police have confirmed about the brother and the husband using their vehicle to ram the vehicle his wife was riding in, or who was driving or whether there are any charges there.

eastvalleytribune.com   azcentral.com   kpho.com   azfamily.com

Most of the domestic violence deaths I have seen did not appear to be planned. They appear as though someone loses their “temper”, also called loss of control. And where there is a loss of control, they may not mean to harm- but that doesn’t mean they won’t. A loss of control that includes violence means they may be unwilling or unable to stop before someone is harmed.

Once the loss of temper includes violence, the violence will usually happen again and again. And the nature of violence and loss of control is that it escalates. Every loss of control incident contains a risk of danger to the victim, because a loss of control is just that- they have lost control and may not be able to stop.

Once violence begins a couple cannot change that alone. They will need assistance. Many experts recommend counseling- sometimes for the abuser and sometimes for both partners. Many others recommend anger management. But no counseling or anger management will help unless the abuser is willing to admit the problem, be willing and committed to change- for the long term. In many cases, it is best just to leave. If/when they work out their violence problems, then it can be reevaluated.

I take no pleasure in this young man’s senseless death. The wife was attempting to flee and had the right to do so. But there is no pleasure in the loss of a life.

“Intruder”

Early am on Thurs. a call for help. Dorothy Faulkner, 49 and her husband Damion Faulkner, 36, were rushed to the hospital. Police were told that the couple had awakened shortly before 6 am by an hispanic male with spiky hair, a stocky build, approx. 6 ft. tall. An intruder. According to statements the intruder fled without taking anything from the home. The couple’s two children were in bed asleep during the attack and only woke at the sound of breaking glass.

At the hospital, Dorothy Faulkner was pronounced dead of several stab wounds. Damion Faulkner was treated for minor injuries and released. And it was time for his police interview. By that time police had had time to review some of the evidence and they  have said that the evidence did not match the intruder story.

Hours later Faulkner confessed. He told police that he and his wife had been having financial and relationship problems. And he admitted to stabbing his wife. He also admitted to stabbing himself in an attempt to stage the crime scene to support the intruder story.

chron.com         click2houston.com                 abclocal.go.com

chron.com         newschannel10.com

I’m too young of course to remember the Great Depression, but during history class I heard the stories. The fall of the stock market, those who had invested in a panic and the number who committed suicide rather than admit to their family and friends that they were now broke.

Things are different now. The stock market hasn’t crashed, banks are not closing. But the economy is definately on a downswing. People accustomed to one standard of living, now struggling, sometimes unable to maintain that standard.

In the thirties, men often made most of the families financial decisions, were the family providers and saw themselves as protectors of the family. Now it is usually the couple that makes those decisions, the couple that are the providers and protectors of the children. And because both couples made the decisions, this can lead to blaming each other. I fear that as the economy remains on the down swing that we may see more of these or worse.

Financial problems threaten that self-esteem that was gained by being successful. Often there is depression associated with financial problems. And the associated hopelessness, the feeling that nothing will ever be good again, the feeling of being inadequate and unable to provide can prevent a person from seeing any hope of light at the end of the tunnel, any solution to the financial problems.

Newlyweds?

Twenty four year old Christa Ann Alexander was pregnant, the baby was reportedly due in Dec. Reports indicates that she was newly married to Couty Alexander, 23 (I’ve also seen his age reported as 22)  that they married in Mar.
Couty Alexander had recently completed emergency medical technican school and began working as a EMT. Both Couty and Christa were reported as active members of a church, Couty Alexander had served as a missionary both in the US and abroad. They have been described as a quiet couple, and it has been said that Christa rarely ventured out without her husband.
Sat. nite/Sun AM Couty Alexander reported to his job and served out his shift. At 5:51 am, after he returned home he called 911 and reported that he had just arrived home and found his wife dead. Neighbors have told media the home appeared to have been ransacked. Police have said that it appeared that Christa Alexander may have been shot.
By Sun. evening, Couty Alexander had been arrested for the murder of his wife.
Police say that Couty Alexander had told them that he found Christa dead when he arrived home from work, but they say that he later told told them she was dead before he had left to go to work. He allegedly told them that she was gathering clothing from the closet when he fired a shot and hit her in the head. Police charged Alexander with 2nd degree murder. Police say they have recovered the murder weapon.
By Monday charges had been upgraded. In addition to the 2nd degree murder charge, Alexander has also been charged with  1st degree feticide for the death of the unborn child. He was also charged with obstruction of justice, that charge is for allegedly attempting to stage the crime scene as a burglary.
Police say Alexander has confessed to the shooting. I have not seen any reports indicating a motive.
nola.com       wafb.com      2theadvocate.com      wafb.com
Newly married, adjusting to being two is stressful. A new job is stressful. Wife with hormone’s surging also a stressor. Life priorities changing from individual thinking to family thinking- also stressful. Thoughts of increases in bills due to the addition of a new, dependent life, becoming a new parent- also stressful. Yet many couples have started this way and made it through.
As I said, no one has yet mentioned why he allegedly shot her, but when I think of the stressors, when I think of what happens in a DV murder, and I think of her getting clothing from the closet I wonder. Had there been an argument, the kind of argument where one party says “I am leaving”? Many couples have that kind of argument at least once. Sometimes it lasts, sometimes it doesn’t. But if that is what it was, Christa won’t be coming back, because her opportunity to think through an argument, her right to make a decision about her life was taken from her. And in the process of taking Christa’s life, her child also lost it’s right to a life, it’s right to grow up and make it’s own life decisions.