The Family’s Message

This post is a bit more graphic than usual, but I believe the situation warranted it.

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They love their relative Dolores Bibiano, 23, they saw what was happening and tried to get her to leave her common-law-husband Marcos Sanchez Abrego, 29. The couple had reportedly been together for 6 years and they had 3 children together. Delores Bibiano also had another child from a previous relationship.

The family has reported that Abreo was ‘agressive’ and that he made promises to change. But they say he didn’t. They tried to get her to leave him, but she wouldn’t. As she was an adult, they couldn’t make her leave. And they could not stop what happened.

They were aware of an incident in Nov. of 2006, when Abrego is accused of hitting her in the eye and leaving it swollen and bruised. After pulling her into a bedroom, he is alleged to have hit her with his hands and after the beating he then sat down to watch TV. He ended up in jail, but allegedly reached out to her by sending her a letter saying the two of them would

“ride for life”

When he got out of jail, the couple went back together.

There were witnesses as to what happened on Sunday. Allegedly Abrego and Bibiano were arguing when Abrego is alleged to have punched Dolores Bibiano, then grabbed her by the hair and dragged her upstairs. His grasp on her hair so strong that some of her hair was yanked from her head and left on the ground.

When police arrived they found Delores Bibiano behind the apartment. Her face was swollen, her mouth full of blood. She complained of her back hurting. And she was unable to move. She allegedly named Abrego as her assailant.

In her pocket authorities found a note. 

If anything ever happens to me, it read, please call my sister.

In the apartment police found three of the four children, they were not harmed but reportedly saw at least a part of the violence. Dolores Bibiano suffered a broken neck. She needs surgery to realign her neck so that she will be able to sit. She is paralysed.

As I said, the family has a message and the message is for anyone else who may be living in a similiar situation as Dolores Bibiano

“It’s not worth staying in a relationship like this,” she said. “It’s not worth ending (up) like her.”

When police arrived they reportedly saw Abrego jump a fence and run from the area. He was captured about a block away from his mother’s house. Abrego was taken into custody and charged with attempted murder.

woai.com                                          ksat.com      

mysanantonio.com                        ksat.com   

I could not say it any better than the family. The only thing I might add, is that if a decision is made to leave- do it safely. As it has been mentioned on here many times, the most dangerous time can be at the time the abuse victim decides to leave.

Make contact with a domestic violence agency and make plans on how to extricate yourself safely. Do not tell that you are leaving, just leave. If you decide you must tell, that can be done later- by phone or letter-  while you are in a safe place.

There is help for you. But you must be the one to make the decision and you must ask for the help. And always keep in mind- leaving is not selfish. You do for yourself but you also do it for your children and for your family.

How do you know you are in danger? As someone said here the other day- trust your gut. If you have suspicion or feel fear, then you know. Trust your instincts. You may tell yourself that he is only kidding, or only angry for right now and doesn’t really mean it. But if you felt that fear, then denying it to yourself and others will not change it.

This was first posted at Crime News by D.P.

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Clarification on the Nov. arrest, this article says Abrego spent a month in jail on other charges. And when arrested by police for the beating he gave his girlfriend, he was already wanted for misdemeanor assault charges. No explanation on that, whether it referred to an assault on Bibiano or someone else.

Abrego charges attempted murder and evading arrest.

mysanantonio.com

According to the above article, 25 people in San Antonio lost their lives due to domestic violence last year. That is only one city out of how many cities in the U.S.?

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Family says that Dolores Bibiano is paralyzed from the waist down. She is still on a ventilator but is no longer listed in critical condition. Family has started a fund for her.

mysantonio.com

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3 Comments

  1. Becky J said,

    February 27, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    I live in Iowa, a state where people have a very false sense of security, our average is 12 deaths a year related to domestic violence, last year there were 26 deaths related to domestic violence, more than double!!! in the town i live in our domestic sexual assult outreach center (also our shelter house) served 3000 victims last year, we cover 6 counties, 1500 of that 3000 were in just the county that the shelter itself is in. and 4 of those deaths were in that county also. So that goes to show that domestic violence doesnt discriminate against where u live, who u are, or who the abuser is.And that domestic violence is growing rapidly, it is in pandemic proportion. unfortunatly people still see domestic violence as a “family problem” someday i hope that people will see it as it really is…….a nations problem.

  2. HEATHER said,

    July 21, 2008 at 6:25 am

    I AM ONE OF THE WOMAN WHO DATED AND PUT UP WITH MARCOS BEATING ME. I FEEL FOR DELORSE. THE ONLY WAY I GOT SMART AND ENDED UP LEAVING HIM, WAS I WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS FIRST DAUGHTER AND HE ATTACKED ME AT WORK PUTTING ME IN THE HOSPITAL WITH A BRUSIED KIDNEY AND PREMATURE LABOR. NO ONE IN MY FAMILY KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON BECAUSE I HID IT. THEN WHEN THAT HAPPENED AND THE DOC TOLD MY MOM SHE GAVE ME AN OPPSION, “YOU EITHER CHOOSE HIM AND STAY WITH HIM, BUT IF YOU LOOSE THE BABY BECAUSE OF STUPIDITY YOU ARE OUT OF MY LIFE AND YOUR DEAD TO ME OR KEEP YOUR BABY, GET RID OF HIM AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO HELP YOU.” SO WHAT DO YOU THINK I CHOOSE……..THE BABY WAS A GIRL BORN JULY 15TH 1999, HEALTHY. I MET DELORSE A COUPLE TIMES WHEN I WOULD LET MARCOS SEE HIS DAUGHTER LIKE A STUPID A**. I WISH I WOULD OF TOLD HER ABOUT HIM. MAYBE THIS WOULD OF NEVER HAPPENED.

  3. July 21, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    Heather you have a very smart mother. And I am glad you got out and happy that your daughter is healthy.

    It can be hard to be the one who survives, to be the one who wonders what would have happened if they had done something different. But I have a question for you… if someone had told you about him while you were with him, would that have made a difference with you? After he attacked you, after you knew for sure about him, did you consider staying with him? Staying or leaving is a decision that only the person involved can make. Once he began to get aggressive with her, she knew. And most of the time, the present girlfriend won’t take the info about the person they are dating from an ex. We will never truly know, but it is doubtful that it would have made a difference.


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