Possessive

It’s 5 am on Sunday morning and police get a call. Shots fired in an apartment building. When they arrive the find Georgia Lee dead on the floor. Also in the apartment on the second floor, they find Georgia’s 15 year old brother and her two children ages 6 and 16 months old. The children were not harmed.

An investigation had to be done, two children and a teen had to be cared for and protected. At least one report indicates that Georgia Lee’s body was near the entry to the apartment. The children were taken out of the home through a second story window and down a ladder to safety. They were placed in the custody of Child Protective Investigative unit until family could reached.

Police say they determined the shooter was 45 year old Winston Calder and that he had fled the home after the shooting. Police were able to locate and arrest Calder. He has been charged with 1st degree murder.

A friend has talked about Georgia Lee and her relationship with Calder.

“She just said she was going to leave him because he’s so possessive,”

The children’s father was contacted and arrived to take custody of the children. A hearing was held and temporary custody of the children was granted to the father pending a background check by the Dept. of Children and Families. According to the judge

“I’m very, very concerned about the children,” said Judge Joseph Murphy, “and I think they have been through the worst thing that they ever experienced, and they’re going to need all the support from the family they can get.”

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5 am. That time of the morning is the time when most children will sleep the deepest. A sudden loud noise, very frightening to anyone let alone children. The sights, the sounds, the loss and the fear they felt that night, those children’s lives have changed forever. At 16 months the little girl won’t even remember her mother’s love. At age 6 if the little boy remembers, his memories will be vague. At 15 the brother will probably never forget his last sight of his sister and the events of that night. I don’t know if those children saw what happened, but they would have definately heard it and are deeply affected by it.

The term possessive in relation to a relationship is interesting.

Possessive is defined in the Free Dictionary as:

1. Of or relating to ownership or possession.
2. Having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person’s relationships with others: a possessive parent.
3. Grammar Of, relating to, or being a noun or pronoun case that indicates possession.

Domination and control. Two terms that are very closely related to DV. To exert ownership- like of a object or item that is owned. And what do you do with an item or object that is no longer wanted or needed or is not serving the purpose for which it was intended?

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3 Comments

  1. bingskee said,

    January 24, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    terminate its use.. and that’s how he thought about her. 😦

  2. graceofwynn said,

    January 27, 2008 at 6:51 am

    Trauma is based on the child’s experience of the event… So the trauma to the child would include not only the death of their mother/sister but also what happened afterward. The children most likely have been exposed to other violent events between Georgia Lee and Calder, which will also affect them. Emotional and psychological abuse don’t leave scars but can be even more devastating than physical abuse. Things like tension in the home, yelling, threats, fighting and possesivness would all be experienced by the children, and have an impact on them. Children who live in homes of abuse often experience attachment problems, developmental delays, emotional problems, and some even mimic abusive behavior. These children will need alot of support and help. I will keep this family in my prayers.

    Peace, Lynn

    http://shadowwings.wordpress.com/

  3. jolynna said,

    January 28, 2008 at 2:22 am

    I will keep this family in my prayers too.

    I wonder how long children have to be away from the abuse before they can feel secure and let down their defenses. I wonder if all are ever able to do it.

    I think people they come in contact with in the future need to be special people.

    Jolynna/http://www.badgirlscrimeblog.com/


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