She was scared

Sonia Long was soon to be a single mother. During the marriage to her husband Anthony D. Long, 32, he reportedly disappeared from the home for periods of time and the marriage was allegedly “strained.” Mrs. Long had filed for divorce. Two months ago she had a child with another man. Her birthday was on Wed., she was 32 years old and she was living in a domestic violence shelter.

Last week she had filed for a restraining order against her estranged husband. According to the restraining order, the problems with Long had intensified since she had become pregnant and included abuse and threats. According to her information in the restraining order Long had told her he 

“would make life hell.”

She feared for her life, as well as the lives of her children and her friend the father of her new baby. She had reason to be afraid. According to the information she included in the application for a restraining order, Long had told her 6 year old child something that scared her. Later the child reportedly told her mother

“Mommy I think Daddy is gonna kill (us)”

Mrs. Long did what she should do under those circumstances. She filed for the restraining order, and she moved into the shelter.

She did not have her children’s birth certificates with her so on Thurs. she went back to her home to get them and she took the baby’s father with her.

 Police say that Anthony Long killed her in that home, and also stabbed the baby’s father. He is expected to recover.

Anthony Long was arrested and charged with murder, assault with a deadly weapon, and rape. He is being held with no bond.

charlotte.com           wcnc.com        wsoctv.com          charlotte.com

If you are in an abusive relationship and fear that at some point you might have to leave the home unexpectedly it is recommended that you obtain an extra set of birth certificate documents and social security cards (or leave the ones you have) and leave them with a trusted friend or relative. If you have to leave you may have to apply for public assistance, enroll children in school, or have other uses for the documents. If you or the children are on daily medications you may also wish to leave a day’s worth of meds with the trusted person. That way if you do have to leave in a hurry you have the essentials to get you through until you can obtain more meds. Other items you may want to consider consider copying is your drivers license and auto insurance papers, any other important papers and a copy of your car and house keys. You can also add a set of clothes for each person in the household.

Once you leave the home it is important not to return to the home until the situation is more settled. It may be a time that you think he will be at work or some other routine or scheduled activity, but during this time you cannot count on the spouse sticking to their routines. Even if they do not live at the home, they may be watching the home or the street the home is on, waiting for an opportunity.

Sometimes there is a feeling of safety in numbers, and a person may feel that they could return if they took someone with them. If a person is angry enough to harm you, they likely will harm the other person also. So try not to return to the home. If it is absolutely necessary to return, make contact with police and see if you can get an escort to the home. Some areas will do that, some will not. Check to see what your area’s policy is.

Advertisements

8 Comments

  1. August 20, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    Sonia’s story is a sad one that is repeated all too often. But for the grace of God, I would be one of those stories also. I stumbled into a DV support group by accident and learned that my situation was much more dangerous than I knew. It’s too late for Sonia, but if you know someone who is living in an abusive situation, please, please, please let them know that you love them and that you are there for them and whatever happens do you best to stay in contact with them. They won’t leave until they are ready. There is nothing you can do or say to change that. Just stick by them and Most Importantly, sit with them and help them make a safety plan. It is probably too dangerous for them to keep it with them. Help them decide where to keep it and review it with them on a regular basis (every time to see them is too much). They need to not only make it out, they need to put the action items in place. They need to stash money, clothes and documents in a safe place…someplace she can have access to if she needs, but he won’t find out. The link below is to a very good safety plan.

    http://www.police.nashville.org/bureaus/investigative/domestic/safety_plan.htm

  2. August 20, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    Thank you Freckled Chris. I have been looking for a good example of a safety plan and I will be adding it to my sidebar.

  3. August 30, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    That is incredibly sad. I often wonder how people caught in a violent situation deal with getting out. Even if they believe it’s possible, the practical issues are hard to deal with on top of everything else. This is a great blog and hopefully will help many people who are stuck get out before it’s too late. Thanks for your efforts!

  4. September 2, 2007 at 11:28 am

    Robert, I think it is possible. I did it. My situation wasn’t incredibly violent, but I learned that I was considered to be in the second to highest group at risk of being seriously hurt when I left. I guess the highest would be “your abuser will definitely try to hurt you seriously.” I think the key is to seek professional help follow their advice, and not tip off your abuser that you plan to leave. There was a story in the news last weekend in my town about a woman who was killed by her boyfriend because she broke up with him. She hadn’t sought counseling. I think a lot of women underestimate the danger they are in (I did), and think they can do it on their own.

  5. September 2, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    “I think a lot of women underestimate the danger they are in (I did), and think they can do it on their own.”

    I also underestimated Freckled Chris, and I think you are right. It is always hard to believe that someone you love or loved, someone who has professed to love you- could attempt to harm or kill you. But they can and often do. My contention is that no matter how well you know them and how they react to things, you don’t know them in ‘this’ situation. You can never really predict how they will react. Always take any threats seriously, and as you said- speak with a professional. They can assess your risks and advise you on your particular situation.

  6. September 2, 2007 at 10:10 pm

    I wanted to let you know that the link you have under Other Blogs and Websites called Angels Missing is not what I think you think it is, It is a porn site which I highly doubt you put on here just thought I would give you a heads up.

  7. September 3, 2007 at 2:25 am

    Nodramaplease, thank you for pointing that out. Believe it or not there used to be a site there about missing persons.
    I hope that anyone who comes across a broken link or a site that has changed like that will let me know like you just did.

  8. Luvnme said,

    February 23, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    Sonia was a loving and caring spirit. My step sister. Tony had been around for years, drinking, drugging, having men spend the night while he lived with a mutual sister of ours. I never thought that 8 years later after sleeping in the same room with her she would be raped, suffocated, and murdered at his hands. He seemed so cool. It never seemed like he quite had it together. He stayed drunk all the time. Sonia went into the court room and told that judge that she feared for her life! Had Tony been a black man and Sonia a white woman, I believe in my heart that the judge would have made a valid decisions based on stated facts rather than bias.


%d bloggers like this: