I hope your Mother’s Day was a happy one

And I hope you all survived. That sounds like a strange sentiment doesn’t it? But truthfully statistics say that three women are killed in a domestic violence incident every day. Scores of others will suffer a non-fatal domestic violence incident. Some are Mother’s, some are future Mothers and all were daughters with Mother’s. And most likely 3 did not survive the day.

I didn’t want to ruin anyone’s Mother’s Day so I waited to post this until the end. But it is something to keep in mind.

The children of many of those who have been covered here in the last year will be facing their first Mother’s Day without their Mother. And three more families likely joined their number. Countless grandmother’s cried this day, because of the daughter who couldn’t call or come by. Three more Mothers will be learning the news about their daughters.

Of the ones who did survive, many were abused. And many children would have seen that abuse. On the one day  a year set aside to honor their Mother. Abuse does not stop just because of a day set aside to honor her.

If you are in an abusive relationship stop and ask yourself…..Will I see the next Mother’s Day? Or is this the year it will go too far?

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4 Comments

  1. Lorraine said,

    May 14, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    I have been an avid reader of your blog for just about a year. I was an abused wife from my ex husband for the two years we were married. I am remarried to a wonderful man whom is a great father as well. The way you wrote this entry brought tears to my eyes as I thought about what I endured and why I let it continue until I woke early and saw my two daughters fear in their eyes and the tears coming down and I said thats it, I left with a daughter in each arm without money, clothes, anything….and I never looked back. Its been over 5 years since the day I left, I am remarried now to a good man, my daughters are happy and healthy and we have expanded our family with two additional daughters. No matter what happens or how much time goes by, what happened still haunts me, my oldest daughter still has nightmares from time to time.

  2. May 14, 2007 at 7:00 pm

    Lorraine, thank you for telling your story. I am glad you survived and got safe. And I am glad you are doing well. You have just done a good thing, you have reminded people that there can be a good life after leaving DV.
    I have a theory that once touched with DV it leaves little emotional scars on all of us, scars that cannot be seen. And that is true for the children who were there also. Different people may have those scars in different places or they may affect us in different ways. But they do affect us. Have you considered having your daughter to go through some short term counseling to maybe help ease some of the pain from the trauma she went through?

  3. becky J said,

    May 15, 2007 at 6:01 am

    What i live with each mothers day is the fact that the last 2 years of my mothers life i spent in an abusive relationship, only talking to her occasionally and seeing her even less, all of those times were “supervised” by my ex husband, She died the year i left him, so the last 2 mothers days before she died she spent crying because she couldnt see me or my son and i spent crying because i couldnt see her, and now every mothers day i cry because of what i missed. Not to mention what my son had to go through…missing his grandma as well as having to see his mother physically and emotionally abused. Today he is 17, treats women with respect, and tells me he loves me every day.

  4. Lorraine said,

    May 15, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    HomeSweetHome –

    Thank you for your comment. I have her speaking with a councelor twice a week now, seems to help…her nightmares went from being frequent to being spread out. Over time I know it will get better…and as days go by and someone is mean to her or pushes her, she wont tell me. I find out a week later, I hope that with my reinforcement and the therapy she will not be a victim when she gets older.


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