“It’s got to stop”

[groom], do you take [bride] to be your wife? Will you love, honour, and cherish her, in good times and in bad, and do you promise to stay true to her as long as you both shall live?

(groom) I do.

[bride], do you take [groom] to be your husband? Will you love, honour, and cherish him, in good times and in bad, and do you promise to stay true to him as long as you both shall live?

(bride) I do.


The vows: love, honor, cherish. By the term “till death due us part” it is meant a death that is not at the spouses hands. Domestic violence has long been a part of our culture. For many years there was little done for a spouse who beat the other spouse. If that beating resulted in death- they might have to serve some jail time. But as the primary attitude seems to have been to blame the victim “well they must have done something to have deserved what they got” the time served might be negligible. You would think that has changed. But many times a person who had taken the vows to love honor and cherish, or those who have established a relationship with someone they professed to love and/or care for would get less time for assault than the one who assaulted a grocery store clerk or a person on the street corner. And by using the euphemisms “in the heat of the moment” or “crime of passion” they got less time for murder also.

The state of Michigan is showing signs that they are beginning to understand. In Michigan a person who is convicted of a murder while in the process of certain felonies, will get a life sentence without parole. Those felonies have included crimes like 1 st degree criminal sexual conduct (rape), arson, armed robbery, 1 st degree child abuse and larceny. But in order to get the sentence for domestic violence, the prosecution would have to prove aggravating factors like deliberation or premeditation. Not always easy in a domestic violence case, where the threats of violence and death is often uttered regularly, but sometimes not carried out.

But a bill now before the house in Michigan is looking to change that. If passed the bill currently before the Michigan House will make a domestic violence murder, a felony murder- just like a murder that happens during a rape, an abuse of a child, an armed robbery or a larceny.

freep.com                  theoaklandpress.com              detnews.com

Michigan also has another bill in the House proposing to give judges the authority to order a person charged with domestic violence to wear a GPS tracking device. The device would allow the victim to be notified if the accused is in the victim’s area. This law is named Mary’s Law, named after Mary Babb– another domestic violence victim.

gaylordheraldtimes.com        wwmt.com

First I have to ask. Is a wife or girlfriend any less  important than the grocery clerk or the person on the corner?

If you live in Michigan, I encourage you to contact your state representatives and tell them of your support for the bill. Tell them you want to see it passed. Tell them that domestic violence affects more than just the couple. Tell them it affects the couple’s children, their families, your children, you, and your community. Tell them you are doing it for your protection, the protection of your children, the protection of your neighbors and even for the protection of persons you do not know.

Tell them you want it to stop, and that if they cannot stop it- the very least they can do is to make sure that the murderers stay in prison where no other spouse or girlfriend can be another victim, and where no other child will be a witness/victim to the murder of their parent. And where no other child will be learning domestic violence by watching their parent.

Tell them that a spouse or girlfriend’s life is just as important as any other life. And should have been more important to the person who murdered them.

Michigan representatives 

A big thanks to Soobs for posting this at Crime News for me to find. There are several home related cimes posted at the site today.



  1. D.P. said,

    March 14, 2007 at 12:40 am

    This is great news. This could definitely signal a sea change as far as attitudes go concerning these “family problems”. A violent crime is a violent crime, folks. Let’s hope Michigan passes this bill and other states follow suit.

  2. March 14, 2007 at 1:14 am

    State by state, until they can make it federal.

  3. Soobs said,

    March 14, 2007 at 2:29 am

    Thanks for writing about this Home. I was hoping you would see this.

  4. becky J said,

    March 16, 2007 at 7:37 am

    We will get there someday, not soon enough but someday none the less, keep standing up and making yourselves heard until they either get tired of hearing your voice and make it a law or until they realize that thats the way it should be because its right.

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