Not funny, not cute- Yes it is illegal

It’s no secret that couples do private, intimate things together. Couples even sometimes record those private intimate things. And unfortunately those private intimate things can be recorded without the knowledge and permission of both parties. But what at one point was private and intimate, can be turned into a weapon in an attack as devastating or more devastating than a physical blow.

Police say that David Feltmeyer, 33, made a recording of him and a former girlfriend in intimate moments. Police have said

“I think he was trying to do her some harm because she is no longer in a relationship with him,” “The video was made unbeknownst to her at least over a year ago. It really was a private, intimate moment that he exploited and recorded without her knowledge.

Then he is accused of recording it on DVD’s and he is accused of randomly placing those DVD’s on cars parked along a street. Police say they are not sure how many were passed out. So far they have recovered two.

And as the former girlfriend’s name, address and phone number were included with the DVD’s, the former girlfriend is now reportedly receiving contacts from strangers. Police have also said that  some young children have viewed some of the DVD’s by mistake. And friends have said that the DVD was being talked about on the radio.

Feltmeyer is now charged with 1 felony count and 1 misdemeanor count of using a computer to carry out an obscene exhibition and 2 misdemeanor counts of  knowingly producing an obscene exhibition.

Police are asking if anyone did receive one of these DVD’s or knows anything about the case to please contact  Crime Solvers at (804) 748-0660. The investigation is continuing.

Police also issued this statement

“It’s a very unfortunate situation,” The woman “is somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister, and I wouldn’t want this happening to my” family member.

nbc4.com   wbdj7.com   timesdispatch.com  wric.com

It’s not a prank, not a joke, not humorous, not funny and not cute. It is a crime. 

I spent some time today thinking of what I felt would be an appropriate sentence for this, but in the interests of civility- decided not to publish it. Let’s just say they were appropriately humiliating, some maybe even painful.

I’m sure he enjoyed passing the DVD’s out. I wonder if he is still enjoying it? I wonder if he has asked what would happen if a sex offender got one of those tapes and decided to target the girlfriend? Or if he could be held legally culpable for that?

I really don’t care what a couple decides to do in an intimate moment. But if you are aware of a recording of a private moment, and you know you are leaving the relationship- if possible try to make sure that you obtain or destroy any images or recordings as they can easily be made into a weapon.

And when your kids start serious dating, make sure they know to be alert to any attempts to make a recording without their consent. It really is way too easy to do (and no I am not speaking from experience.) But it should be a part of that “birds and bee’s discussion” for older kids.

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Thanks to Ron Lanius we have an update. Charges were reduced to a misdemeanor, and David Feltmeyer entered an Alford plea to one misdemeanor count of

“knowingly producing an obscene exhibition.”

In an Alford plea the person basically pleads “no contest”, saying he does not admit guilt, but recognizes the state has enough evidence that will most likely cause a conviction on the charges.

As a result of the plea, David Feltmeyer was sentenced to 90 days in jail, with the sentence being suspended and 30 days community service.

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13 Comments

  1. Jaguar b. p. said,

    March 5, 2007 at 10:48 pm

    The tapes only show the truth. If the female finds her own actions embarrassing, that is her problem. Why did she perform it if she is not proud of it?

  2. March 5, 2007 at 10:56 pm

    What happens between two consenting adults is their business. Not the world’s.
    The addition of the name address and phone number, sets her up as a target to any and all. And is another thing that she did not give permission for.
    And it should be shown to children? Or placed where they can access it?

  3. fernandez francis said,

    March 6, 2007 at 7:42 am

    it may have documented what has transpired between two lovers at that time but the intention of showing such without the consent or express permission of the other is a violation of the other person’s right to privacy. Performing such act doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t proud of it, but she was merely doing what at that time happens to two lovers. david feltmeyer, the spurned lover, should be and deserves to be punished for such lewd and mindless act of disseminating intimate moments with his former lover.

  4. daryle said,

    March 11, 2007 at 10:52 pm

    if he did distribute the video it was wrong of dave, but there are a couple important points about our little babe in the woods…
    1_ she was married at the time the video was made , and not to dave feltmeyer..
    2- she did knowingly make the movie with the man, she was not secretly video taped

  5. March 12, 2007 at 1:41 am

    1. And that is important how? You may not realize it, but that happens a lot- both men and women- and is the business of that couple-not the world.
    2. IF she knowingly made the movie- so what? Couple’s do do that. Did she give her permission for the distribution? Did she give her permission for her name, address and phone number to be added? Did she give her permission for it to be distributed to children?
    You know I do wonder if you all realize that in seeing this is so agreeable that you are basically telling the male members of your female relations that you would think it was ok if they did that to your relatives? Your mother, your sisters, your cousins, and your female friends? Their private moments out on display for anyone and everyone to see, along with their names, addresses and phone numbers. And not only handed out, but handed out to every potential sex offender that might be out there. I don’t know, would you be willing to help the men in your family to distribute them?
    I hope your female friends and family members feel comfortable with that.

  6. Becky J said,

    March 12, 2007 at 6:21 am

    OMG!!! the comments made by daryl and jaguar are typical of perpetrators, it’s justification in there eyes. Like u said Home, i wonder how well they would like it if it was there daughter or mom?? probably wouldnt be so damn cool then now would it???? Those people make me sick!! And another point, how would they like it, as the big strong men im sure they claim to be, if they were raped or molested by some big bald guy while another perpetrator video taped it and then burned hundreds of copies to give out to random people walking along the streets?? bet they wouldnt be trying to justify there perpetrators!!!

  7. Jardini said,

    March 13, 2007 at 7:31 pm

    Record it without other party’s permission is already wrong, publishing it made it even worse.

  8. daryle said,

    March 15, 2007 at 11:04 pm

    omg!! like wow, and all that jazz….once again for the record …it was wrong of dave to alledgedly let the video get out, but if the babe in the woods would have stayed in her HUSBANDS BED and not whored around she would have no problems

  9. March 15, 2007 at 11:22 pm

    Well, one thing about it…. cheating isn’t illegal and is between them.
    It sounds like you might be jealous because they got to spend time with her and you didn’t.

  10. AnnieAnn said,

    March 16, 2007 at 5:26 pm

    I know David Feltmeyer. I haven’t seen him in a few years though. He’s a good guy. Something went way wrong here. Sometimes people let their emotions cause them to do unbelievably stupid things. Some people have enough self control and a lot to lose for doing something really stupid, but sometimes others can’t see past their feelings at the time. Yes- what David did was wrong, and I’m sure he will be punished for it- as I’m sure in a way he already has. I don’t know the ex- girlfriend, but I do believe something happened to cause him to do such a thing. The main victims in this are the children who may have seen the tape.

  11. March 17, 2007 at 5:01 am

    We see it differently AnnieAnn. I think I understand what you are saying. She did something that made him angry.
    My first and continuing thought was what if I had a relationship with someone and they taped it without my knowlege? And what if something then happened between us, he didn’t like something I did and added my name, address and phone number to the tape and distributed it? I don’t know how you would feel in that situation, but I could name a number of things that I would feel about a man who chose to retaliate in such a humiliating and dangerous way. You see, I see it as an attempt at control over her. Kind of a “well, if you don’t do what I want- I will make you pay”
    Control is a major issue in DV. No adult should be controlling another adult in any relationship. Not by pain, or by humiliation.

  12. ron lanius said,

    March 20, 2008 at 5:09 am

    Well,well. One year after this incident that had my boy hung out to dry. The facts came out in court. Unfortunately you have to dig deep on the web to find them. I will quickly summarize: The defense had evidence to prove said woman knew of the film, no evidence whatsoever of who distributed the film,no children saw the film,”victim” received prank phone call from a friend of david’s saying children saw the dvd. The “authorities” went after my friend with everything they had,yet my boy had the best attorney for chesterfield county court system&others in Va. He got a misdemeanor charge of production of obscene material. A Larry Flynt charge? Only in this conservative, tight-a!# state would such a thing happen.$65 court cost,30hrs community service,which he finished very quickly,but waited until the last minute to complete. When his lawyer told of the charge chesterfiled was giving him,he offered to pay the whole fine in cash$2500. Not good enough for the woman prosecutor, so he received community service. David’s lawyer was THE MAN. Negotiations between David’s lawyer and the prosecutor took place behind closed doors,with the lawyer coming out every few minutes telling my friend what they wanted to do to him. It started out with 15days in jail,now mind you he had no criminal record,not even a speeding ticket. Then 10days,5days,then 750hrs community service all the way down to 30hrs&no fine. He really wanted to pay the max $2500 fine and be done with chesterfield. I know he had $5500 on him when he went in there. I suppose the county wanted to give him some humiliation. He chose working at animal shelter among his many choices. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The county had to give him back his computer and video camera etc. .

  13. MTS said,

    April 20, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    Excellent news indeed Ron. The felony charge was completely bogus.


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