Not a Marriage Made in Heaven

At a New Year’s Eve party Stephen Mujerm Mbah, 40, proposed to begin a new life and he asked his girlfriend Victorine Taboh to marry him. She accepted and the two stayed with their friends at the party.

When they left the party about 6 am two of their friends rode with them with Mbah was driving. During the ride a problem reportedly developed. Taboh and the passengers complained that Mbah was driving recklessly so he stopped the car along the berm and Mbah and Taboh got out and began to argue.

Allegedly Taboh grabbed a steering wheel lock and began knocking out the windows of the car. And allegedly Mbah then punched her and hit her in the head with the steering wheel lock. Taboh was knocked unconcious.

Emergency personnel transported Victorine Taboh to the hospital where she was treated and released.

Stephen Mujerm Mbah was arrested and transported to the jail where he was charged with aggravated assault, simple assault,  reckless endangerment, and yes- driving under the influence.             

The proposal may have been romantic, the evening may have been perfect. But the end really doesn’t bode well for the marriage.

This argument went from property damage to personal injury. And it is what I call a “double whammy.” If you check Domestic Violence and Abuse: Types, Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Effects you will see destruction of the victim’s personal property and possessions, or threats to do so as one of the signs of domestic violence. And in some states she could and possibly would have been charged with domestic violence.

But not content with just calling police, he not only retaliated he escalated the fight to assault, which of course is always on the list.

Once it is begun, domestic violence doesn’t usually go away on it’s own. And with both of them being active participants, I fear for both of them.

If they really want to survive, if they really want to make a successful relationship…..IMO they should take a break apart. They should both enroll and complete a domestic violence course and I mean really work at it and practice what they learn. And then they should reevaluate whether this is really what they want to do.

Now someone is gonna tell me, I know they are: “But he was drinking, possibly she was too.” “They love each other, they really didn’t mean it.” And that very well may be true. But remember alcohol does not cause domestic violence. It eases the inhibitions against violence but does not cause it. And people who are violent when they are drinking, often become violent when under stress- even if they are not drinking.

Other relevant reading here might be Relationship Violence Warning Signs. Though that article is mainly geared toward a male abuser, some aspects of it apply toward females also.


1 Comment

  1. D.P. said,

    January 3, 2007 at 7:16 am

    She needs to call off the engagement. Being intoxicated is NO excuse for physically harming someone. Good call once again, Sweet home.

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