Happy 2007

I have to start using the date, otherwise I will forget what year this is! I hope that everyone is having a safe and happy New Year’s.

To me New Year’s is a time for thinking about the old year, and reflecting on the new year to come. I guess that is how New Year’s resolutions came about.

For reflection, I began this blog 11 months ago. I have been very fortunate in that many people who have experience with domestic violence who have stopped by, left comments, joined discussions, sent me articles and contributed in a major way. There have also been survivors who have stopped by and joined their voices to tell how it felt and how it affected them and how it still affects them. And there are families and friends, heartbroken grieving families of both the suspects and the victims families. Their grief, their anger expressed here shows just how much domestic violence affects the other people who are surrounding the troubled relationships. They show the devastation the violence leaves behind.

Resolutions:  Health and body image are big ones. Behavior changes also come high. But I am going to suggest a new type of resolution.

Try to make your community a better place to live in. Find what community organizations are available in your community and what they need. Set yourself to contributing to solution to that need.

Of course my highest reccommendation would be to locate your local domestic violence agency and see how you could best contribute to them. But you could also find children’s organizations, senior citizen organizations or any number of other helping agencies. You could also get involved with your community government, to make sure that these helping agencies were not forgotten.

Most helping organizations have a need for cash, doesn’t everybody? But if that is a problem there are other ways you can help. Most accept donations of goods such as clothing,  books, daily supplies and etc. Some accept volunteers who are willing and able to contribute their time. Your local agencies can tell you what they need. Try to help them find a way to fullfill it.

Someday I hope to see stronger domestic violence laws, and a more educated response from law enforcement and the courts. But there are other things I also hope for. Someday I hope to see national support system set up for survivors of domestic violence. The type of system where survivors will be there to help and support new survivors or those still in the violent relationship.

I also hope someday to  see a national support system for families of domestic violence victims. For the families of those who did not make it out, the families who have relatives still in the violent situation, and the families of survivors. Because domestic violence hurts more than just the known victims, it hurts entire families and extended families.

If such organizations were to develop, than that would be a force that would ensure that new, stronger laws and more education would be developed. Simply because the numbers would be staggering, more attention would be paid.

My resolution? Well, for here I resolve to learn more about domestic violence. I resolve to keep putting what I learn out there, to try to reach more people. I resolve to pay more attention to the relationships around me, to be more alert to signs of abuse or controlling behaviors. And I resolve to reach out to my local community domestic violence agencies.

And I resolve to do better at committing a random act of kindness each and every day.

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4 Comments

  1. Becky J said,

    January 2, 2007 at 12:52 am

    Happy New Year home, i just recently came upon your website because of the Dianne Crouse tragedy in Arizona, and i want you to know that even tho i am several years out of my abusive relationship that after Diannes murder i realized that survival is an ongoing process for those of us who made it out alive, and that your website has helped me so much, it gives me the encouragment and strength to get involved with my community to help others help themself, i started getting involved june of 2006 after another friend left an abusive relationship and i realized that as a community we need to change the thought process of people, not only those that dont understand the dynamics involved but those that are supposed to be there to protect us. I am normally not a patient person and have many times started things that meant a lot to me but after i didnt get that immediate satisfaction i would give up on it, but its different for me with this situation and every time i get frustrated i come to your site and it brings me back to reality that if this problem is ever going to be changed and dealt with differently its going to take time and dedication, and my new years resolution is to see it thru and become involved in as many ways possible to make a difference. Thank you for keeping me grounded, and i offer my assistance to you as well, anything that i can do for you and your site i will all you have to do is let me know. I respect and admire you for all you do, u help in more ways than i think you realize.

  2. January 2, 2007 at 3:17 am

    Thank you Becky. My role is mainly to provide more awareness, and maybe to reach out to someone, to give them the resources they need to get safe. But I reach only a small group. What is needed is a national organization, to bring victims and survivors together, to bring families together and for them to work as one. Together they could work to bring DV out of the darkness and secrecy, and work to educate and make change.
    Personally, I congratulate you for getting out of your situation and thank you for working to help others. I know that not only your community will benefit from it, but you will also benefit as you work through what happened to you.

  3. Desiree said,

    January 2, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    Home Sweet Home,
    I too found your site because of the murder of my best friend, Dianne Crouse. I live in the Washington D.C. area and work with decision makers regularly.

    In response to your point about needing a national organization, I couldn’t agree more and would be willing to help in any way, including the identification of members of Congress and other influential leaders who could assist.

    Another mother was murdered by her husband yesterday morning here in the DC area, the father took their three children but was thankfully aprehended last night. Although I always knew it was around me, Dianne’s death has forced me to see DV in a different light.

    I have two other friends (we were a foursome) who I know will join me in helping you start a national organization – perhaps this is will be our tribute to our vibrant friend whom we miss so much.

    Desiree

  4. January 2, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    Desiree, thank you. Your message has brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for hearing what I was trying to say.
    If it is ok with you, I will be emailing you.
    There is a lot of talk and action about the crime on our streets. But I believe that until the crime in the home is stopped, crime on the street will continue and worsen.


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