Long Distance Marriage

They met on a cruise. She was taking the cruise and Franklyn Cumberbatch, 37, was working as a bartender on that cruise. She lived in the U.S., he lived in St. Vincent in the Carribean. The two married 4 years ago and lived apart, he in his country and she in hers until January of this year when he came to the U.S.

Reportedly they had a ‘stormy’ relationship. Reportedly there was a lot of friction and Cumberbatch was jealous. Thanksgiving weekend it allegedly got worse and may have gotten physical at times. Cumberbatch decided to return to St. Vincent. His wife bought him an airline ticket and he was to leave on Monday.

On Monday, reportedly there was another argument. Allegedly he began beating her. Allegedly he knocked her onto the bed and tied her there with pieces of clothing and twine, and he also gagged her.

He left the room, and the wife was able to untie her feet. However he returned to the room and tied her back again. Allegedly he then began using a razor to slash her face, telling her that he was doing it so “so no one else would look at her.”

About an hour later Cumberbatch then left the home taking his wife’s Jeep, some cash, and her cellphone. The Jeep was later found at a BART station, where Cumberbatch reportedly boarded a train to the airport. His wife was left bound and gagged to the bed.

About 8:30 pm she was able to dislodge the gag and she began screaming. Neighbors heard and contacted police. When they responded the wife was able to tell them about her husband and the airline ticket.

The wife was taken to the hospital where she was treated for the cuts and bruises, and it was discovered that she also had broken bones in her wrists and arms, possibly from being bound so tightly. After treatment she was released.

Police caught up with Cumberbatch at the airport. Instead of catching his flight, he was arrested for suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon, robbery, mayhem, false imprisonment, inflicting corporal punishment on a spouse, and auto theft.

insidebayarea.com                          kesq.com

                                  cbs5.com

Romance is great in a relationship. But often when the couple begins staying in close proximity to each other, the romance can wear thin. A lucky couple can still have moments of romance, but it often isn’t a sustainable feeling when things like who is going to take out the garbage and who is going to do the dishes get in the way. That is when faults- major or minor then stand out.

Jealousy, while it can appear romantic in the relationship is actually a destructive emotion. It implys a lack of trust in the other person. And in any sustainable relationship there has to be some trust.

There are all kinds of jealousy. Jealousy of rivals, jealousy of careers, even jealousy of non-romantic love of others. When jealousy rears it’s ugly head for more than a momentary twinge, there will be problems. Because jealousy is not a part of romance, it is a sign of a failure to trust.

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4 Comments

  1. Becky J said,

    January 22, 2007 at 1:36 am

    When i entered my abusive relationship i had a pretty low self esteem as many victims do, i thought it was so sweet and flattering that he was jealous that i had male friends, but eventually it ended up jealousy of male friends, female friends, co workers and even family members, and at the time i thought it was wierd, but still flattering, that he was even jealous of my past relationships. Well now i know its NOT flattering, its degrading and i spent the entire 3 years of our marriage defending myself and taking beatings because of that “flattering jealousy” and to this day i become nervous when any of my friends, espically male ones, approach me and give me a caring gesture such as a hug, even tho i have went through counseling and have a wonderful caring man that isnt the least bit jealous, its been almost 7 years since that marriage, it took me 5 years to even fathom the thought of dating again, im glad i took that time to heal, but it is frustrating that some of the strange things like the jealousy still makes me scared and nervous, i wonder if it will last forever or if someday i will forget???

  2. January 22, 2007 at 1:51 am

    You won’t forget. Sadly those memories are there to stay. Jealousy you are best to stay away from anyway. As far as a willingness to allow others to get close, you took that first step with the new relationship. But probably life long, there may be some inability to trust- at least until you get to know someone really well. At least that has been what I have observed.

  3. Nydia said,

    January 22, 2007 at 9:36 pm

    This is making me think twice about my long distance relationship, he’s also kind of a jealous man..

  4. January 22, 2007 at 9:59 pm

    Nydia, a couple of helpful links for you might be ‘Recognizing the potential for violence in others’ and ‘Relationship early warning signs’. Both are on the left under the DV heading. You are the one who knows him, you are the one who knows your relationship. Only you can judge how pertinent the information is to you.


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