“If I can’t have you, nobody can have you”

According to recent reports Miguel Gonzalez and his wife Jeanette Claudio were having marital difficulties. And allegedly on Nov. 16, Jeanette Claudio told friends that her husband had assaulted her and had told her, “If I can’t have you, nobody can have you.” According to police Gonzalez had been stalking his wife and recording her phone calls, and police did seize a digital voice recorder from their home.

Nov. 18, police were called at 10:32 am after a neighbor heard a child screaming in the home. When the neighbor went to investigate they found a 4 year old child and an 8 year old child in the home. They also found Miguel Gonzalez who had been shot once in the head, conscious and breathing. He was taken to the hospital in critical condition. Police do believe his wound was self-inflicted. Jeanette Claudio was dead from multiple gunshot wounds.

Reportedly in the hospital Gonzalez woke up and pulled out his breating tube. He asked personnel there “Where’s my gun?”

An arraignment was held at the hospital on Thanksgiving Day on charges of criminal homicide, being a person not allowed to own, use, manufacture, control, sell or transfer firearms, endangering the welfare of children, stalking, recklessly endangering another, simple assault, and wiretapping.

According to police Gonzalez had a criminal record. In 1995 he was arrested for simple assault and resisting arrest. Police say it was domestic related but with a different victim.

Police are not releasing the relationship of the children, but they were placed in protective custody.

mcall.com           poconorecord.com          centredaily.com  

               poconorecord.com           mcall.com

Do not mistake when those words are uttered, whether accompanied by an assault or a romantic gesture- they are a threat.

They are not a sign of undying affection or of faithfulness. They are not an avowal that the two of you will always be together. They mean exactly what they say- that no matter what happens,  no matter what they do, no matter how many others there may be for the one who spoke the words- for the person spoken to, it is a warning and a threat. Please take them seriously. And I don’t mean that in the same way.

Make contact with a domestic violence shelter, make a plan for safety, and as needed utilize a shelter and the legal system to keep yourself safe.

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5 Comments

  1. B. Elliott said,

    November 25, 2006 at 4:50 am

    I think that the problem lies in that the police are stretched too thin to take these cases seriously, only getting involved after something has happened.

    I came across this article on the web. It sounds like someone is actually paying attention and is willing to do something about it. Here’s a link to the article:

    http://industry-icon.com/blog/2006/11/17/bodyguard-to-stars-extends-safety-net/

  2. Paul Piccolo said,

    January 5, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    I have worried about this phrase for quite a while but in a slightly different context. I am having a hard time getting contact with my children as my wife believes that because I dont love her anymore I should have no part in the lives of our 2 children. The worrying part is this. In november she accused me of phoning her and saying “if I cant have them nobody will” the police visited me much later that day but as there had been a similar “supposed” threat by me a day earlier wich was not taken seriuosly they put little creedence in this second allegation. At the time, when the police asked me if I had made this statement I replied ,dont be rediculous that is something that is said in by someone who is not willing to accept being dumped by a loved one. My problem is that the phrase was used by my wife at all. I have believed ever since that should it look like I will get custody of the children the implications are well you see what I am saying surely. The final hearing is in two weeks time and I am sure she is fully aware that she will not survive questioning without her anger management problems becoming clear to the judge. I worry more each day and now read in todays paper that once again this phrase was used by an ex of the girl who worked in Harvey Nichols that was shot 4 times in the face by him. How do I get someone to listen.

  3. January 5, 2007 at 9:39 pm

    Talk with your attorney, make sure officers made a report on the incident and make sure your attorney gets a copy of it. You may also want to contact Children’s Services in your area and ask for more specific advice.

  4. Jamie said,

    July 21, 2007 at 5:45 am

    I have a ex-fiance, we had tried to get back together, it wasnt working out we had an argument well that day or the day after we had the argument he had proceeded to tell my mom those words of “If i cant have her nobody can.” Well my mom turned around and told him “that was stupid” He then proceeded in stating that “Her husband (meaning my husband) does not need to be showing his face around town when he moves out here, because if he can not detain him then his buddies will.”

    I need to know what i should do and if i should really tell my husband , my fear is that this guy may very well do something to me and my family, As he seems to also think that my kids are HIS kids, and everytime i said “my ” kids he would correct me around people and said “no, our kids” and i would just look at him and give them a look and then go on. ..

    I am kinda nervous and scared, Should i honestly be worried, he has been WAITING to be back with me for 10 years, or so and he Honestly believes that we should be TOGETHER….. What can the police honestly do ? He knows people on the police force so i am kinda scared to do anything with the police department because, they do know him in town, most do not like him but they do know him. I dont want to ruin our friendship even more but if i have to protect my family then i have to by all means. And if that means making sure my family & Husband is safe then so be it.

  5. July 21, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    Jamie, make contact with your local domestic violence agency. Make an appointment to go in and talk with them. They know what is available in your area and what the laws are in your area so they are the best ones to advise you. You don’t need to feel embarrassed about it, as they have heard similar stories from others. And yes, if the ex is saying that after many years you do need to take it seriously- especially since it was your mother that he said it to. As far as telling your husband, that is a personal decision. But if he had threatened you- would you want to know? Do you want your husband to be alert and aware?


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