He needed help

They say the divorce the couple was trying to obtain was messy. But most divorces are messy- at least in the participant’s lives.

Thomas (45) and Deanna Manca (44) were divorcing and they had two children ages 12 and 18. Court records say that Thomas Manca had a substance problem.

Court records also say that Thomas Manca showed up at Deanna Manca’s home unannounced on Sept. 30. Reportedly he was intoxicated when he came to her home. Deanna Manca told the court “He stated he needed my help,” “I told him he needed to seek further long-term treatment.” Later that same night she said that he called her and threatened to wreck his motorcycle into something because he didn’t want life without her. She also said that she feared for her life. She was granted a restraining order on Oct. 6.

Fast forward to Nov. 13. Reportedly it was a family member who found them. Deanna Manca was found in a closet of an upstairs bedroom. She had been strangled. Thomas Manca was also found. Police believe that after killing his estranged wife, he hanged himself. 

boston.com                                                       telegram.com   

1whdh.com                eyewitnessnewstv.com                   

Most divorces are messy. When you talk about issues like parenting, child custody, child support, property division, and ending a couple’s relationship, disputes are going to develop. Even if both couples want the relationship to end. If a participant doesn’t want it to end, then there will be more disputes. And just the same as any other life problems, drugs or alcohol will often exacerbate the problem.        

Divorces aren’t easy. Neither are they cheap or quick. Divorces can sometimes take a year or more. During the divorce process, there are tensions and disagreements and the longer it drags on, the worse it can get. As with any other unresolved situation, the longer it is before settlement, the higher the tension and stress level. And the more disputes that can develop.

Those who click on the links will find that Thomas Manca was the son of a former mayor. That is really not an issue. Whether he is the son of a former mayor or the son of a sanitation worker, the facts don’t change.

He needed help. Probably the number one plea in separating couples where one member doesn’t want the separation. Then the threat of suicide, implying that it will be the other’s fault if they die. If they stay firm on the separation- does that indicate they don’t care if the other dies? It shouldn’t. But often that will cause additional anger in the person who doesn’t want the separation. So if that comes up, that is something you may want to discuss with an attorney and/or a  domestic violence professional. It is also something you should advise their family members of.

And as always, if you need a restraining order- you need a secure place to stay until the situation settles.



  1. anonymous said,

    November 15, 2006 at 7:50 pm

    You post these stories. You don’t know these people. You don’t know the history or what their lives were like.

    If you want to help someone, find out the facts first.

  2. November 15, 2006 at 9:47 pm

    Anonymous, I make no secret of the fact that I get my information from public sources. However, I do leave the comments open, so if you wish to leave additional insights you are more than welcome.

  3. anonymous said,

    November 16, 2006 at 1:39 am

    I don’t wish to leave more insight. I wish to let these people mourne in private without the names of their loved ones being spread all over websites that know nothing of the story other than what they read in the paper, which is typically half the story or the wrong story.

    Perhaps you should let people deal with their issues before spreading their names all over your blog and pretending to know what happened.
    Their familes don’t even know exactly what happened yet, but you feel you have the right to speak about “facts” that were in the paper, yet the papers can’t even get it right. They have conflicting stories about how she passed away.

    Let the families get the information before you “share” with the whole world your wonderful insight on this family from small town USA.

    There are better ways to help people and shame on you for stooping to this level.

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