When it is over, sometimes it’s not really over

In 2004, Leslie Washburn filed charges against Eugene Flores Valasquez for threatening her with a gun. He pled guilty and a no contact order was issued.

Last Thursday, police were called to respond to a disturbance at Valasquez’s store. There they found Leslie Washburn who said that Valasquez assaulted her. However, it is said that a review of the surrveillance video appeared to show Washburn as the aggressor. Valasquez’s defense attorney says that the video shows Washburn confronting the suspect and knocking items off the shelf. Allegedly Valasquez told police that he had not talked to Washburn “in the last about three years”.

Washburn however has a different allegation. She says that Valasquez has been calling her. She says that “On one of the messages he was like I know where you’re at, you can’t hide from me, I can see you and he’d just be laughing.”  Apparently police do believe those messages did come from Valasquez.

Washburn says that police couldn’t do anything about it, because they would have to see him first, or someone else would have to see him. So she says she went there to confront Valasquez, to tell him to leave her alone. She says she felt like she didn’t have any choice.

Since that incident, police have sworn out a warrant against Valasquez for felony stalking.

Police are concerned that Washburn confronted Valasquez and possibly jeopardized her own safety. Their recommendations are: Keep a log book near the phone and document phone calls. Tell neighbors and co-workers to keep an eye out for your ex-spouse. And don’t overlook the advantage of using a camera.


Stalking is common in domestic violence situations, especially after the no contact order. Telling the person they are not allowed to make contact with you is not enough. The court has already told them so. They are showing you they are willing  to break the law to get to you.

You need to contact police when you get that contact. Ask police about the legality of taping the calls in your area (it is ok in some states, not legal in others). See if they will leave messages on voice mail, and save those. Ask friends, neighbors and co-workers to contact police if they see the ex in your vicinity. Keep a tape recorder and camera near, and record any encounter, if possible. If they are driving by your home on a regular basis, then get a picture, as well as asking others to watch for them.

Make contact with a domestic violence agency and ask for suggestions and assistance.

What if police still blow off your complaints? I would express that to the domestic violence agency. And possibly would try to talk with someone at the  prosecutor’s office myself. That is what I would do, though I can’t say I have ever seen that recommended anywhere.

It apparently has been about 2 years since the no contact order. And she is still getting contact. That would put me on edge too. But by confronting him directly, she endangered herself. Both physically and possibly legally- though I don’t see where any charges have been filed against her as yet.

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