Determined

Police responded to a report of a beating at an apartment complex at about 5 pm on on Saturday. When they arrived, they could hear screaming and signs of a struggle, but were denied access to the apartment by Kenneth Sanders-Bey, 41. He threw a concrete block at them as they were going up the stairs.

Officers broke down the door and found Sanders-Bey beating and cutting his ex-girlfriend with a hatchet. They ordered him to stop, and when he didn’t they hit him with the Taser. He continued striking the woman, so a sargeant shot him shot him twice, hitting him in the abdomen and arm.

Police say they recieved their call from one of the woman’s relatives, who was driving by the address to check on the woman. She saw the man kicking in the front door and called police. The woman had moved into the apartment about a month earlier.

Both Bey and the woman were transported to the hospital where both were reported to be in critical condition.

http://www.ksdk.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=99894

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story/0DB83A9EAB0CB575862571A6001785C6?OpenDocument

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story/441F482A427772A5862571A700068DBB?OpenDocument

So many times, when the offender is determined to harm the other, they will not be swayed by anyone else’s words or actions. Anyone who attempts to protect the other, will often be harmed just so they will have a clear access to the person they are so intent to harm.

This is another reason I encourage the use of a shelter instead of taking shelter with a friend or loved one.

There is no mention of any previous history of domestic here. But I found it interesting that the woman had only lived in the apartment about a month, and that a relative felt it necessary to check on her.

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One instant

James Stetson Jr., 30, lived with his father. And about 6 months ago, his girlfriend Marisol Rodriguez, 33, moved in with them.

Friday night the two went to a church carnival, where they visited with friends and neighbors. The friends say they saw no problems at that time, other than the fact that someone had punctured a tire on Stetson’s vehicle. And they say they didn’t hear any loud voices or anything from the house later.

However, police believe that there was a domestic dispute that ended in the stabbing of James Stetson, Jr. They were called to the home and found him in the bathroom with one stab wound to the neck. He was transported to the hospital, where he died about 1:07 am.

Neighbors say that when Rodriguez was led from the home by police, she was hysterical and screaming. She has been charged with unlawful possession of a weapon and murder.

Police say they did not have any previous reports of domestic violence at the home. But neighbors say there had been a couple of loud arguments in the street. They thought she was more the aggressor.

http://www.nj.com/news/gloucester/index.ssf?/base/news-1/1152425506292460.xml&coll=8&thispage=2

One instant is sometimes all it takes. One moment of “losing control” is enough to take a person’s life. One stab wound, and that is enough. One instant can permanently take one person’s life, and change the life of the other.

If you have problems with “temper” or “loss of control” whether dealing with a spouse, a child, or others- I strongly encourage you to seek out anger management treatment. It does not have to be court ordered. You can voluntarily seek it out. But you need to do so, before it is to late- for someone else as well as for yourself.

Contact your local crisis line, mental health center, or domestic violence agency for finding help in your area.