A Family

Arthur Penn, 41, was found Saturday morning outside the home in which he used to reside. He was lying on the wheelchair ramp meant for the daughter of the house who was confined to a wheelchair. He had a gunshot wound to his back. In one hand he had a Koozie, in the other hand a sock. Nearby was the matching sock, the earpiece to a cell phone and the faceplate to the radio in his van. Neighbors recalled hearing a gunshot about 7:30 am.

Police pounded on the door of the residence but got no response. They could not enter the home as it was locked. The other residents of the home could not be located. They obtained a search warrant, and then entered the home.

Inside the home, police found Lani Carr, 27, her daughter Jamila, 10, and the couple's son Arthur, 6 all dead from gunshot wounds. Jamila was still hooked up to her respirator.

Police say they had been called to the house before for domestic calls. Reportedly, they believe that Lani Carr first shot Arthur Penn, then went into the home and locked the door, shot the children then herself.

Friends and neighbors of the family have said that the daughter Jamila had Cerebral Palsy. She had one lung and was confined to a wheelchair. Reportedly doctors had told the family that she probably wouldn't live much longer.

Reportedly they also described some problems between the couple. There may have been jealousy and insecurity on Carr's part. Penn may have been seeing other women. Penn had moved to his mother's a few months earlier but some say the couple may still have been seeing each other. Penn was to pick up his son for a Father's Day visit that day.

Allegedly Carr told a relative a few days ago that she couldn't take anymore. Allegedly she may have told friends about purchasing a gun, and made a threat against Penn, but coworkers thought she was joking. In notes found in the home, Carr wrote of a deepening despair over the last month.

http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/metro/stories/MYSA061806.1A.homicidesuicide.139d4ff.html

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=state&id=4281037

http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/metro/stories/MYSA061706.manfounddead.en.95a90a5c.html

Carr is described many ways. Some complimentary, some not. Yet none seemed to dispute her love and care of her children.

One child disabled, possibly terminal. That alone is enough to cause a strong parent to struggle. Yet with an active and growing 6 year old, you would have to try to maintain some semblance of normality in the home. And add to that problems in a relationship, that is a heavy burden too.

She did seem to attempt to reach out, by saying she couldn't do it anymore, by telling about the gun purchase. Yet the very strength described by friends, probably masked the depths she had sunk to. Being strong, and with all she had already gone through, most probably thought she would make it through this also.

A depressed person may make statements about death, they may appear philosophical, or serious, or they may appear to be joking. They may show some signs they are struggling in behavior changes, withdrawal from family and friends or regular activities, giving away belongings reckless behavior or changes in sleeping and eating habits. If you see those signs, get them to a doctor, hospital or counselor right away. The signs may be very subtle. And a depressed person is often incapable of saying- help me.

For more information about suicide, the indicators, signs and symptoms and how to get help, click here and here.

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21 Comments

  1. amanda said,

    June 21, 2006 at 7:13 pm

    I knew Lani, she was my hair dresser. I know that from the conversations that we had about her family she was very devoted to her children, and how happy she was to buy her house. she alyways said she tried to let her daughter do as much as she could, and be as normal as possible. I know it must have been hard for her, and I don not judge her at all. I just wish she would have talked to somebody, because life, and children are the most precious things in the world. May God Bless the Carr family and give them strength in thier time of need. Although this may be hard to go through, time will heal all hurt, and God will bring you through the storm.

  2. The truth said,

    July 23, 2006 at 10:48 pm

    Lani knew how Arthur was she was sleeping with him when he was living with someone else. She can’t honestly think that if he had done it to one woman he wouldn'[t of done it to her, thats how she got him. Plus everyone says she was a strong person if that was true she would have left him and let her children live and Arthur. See she didn’t just destroy her life but many others there are other children by Arthur that needed him and his family. His mother and him were very close and she hated that she hated for anyone too be a smile in Arthurs day so if you want to post how great she was its lies she only loved herself.

  3. July 24, 2006 at 9:11 am

    I don’t believe anyone has posted anything about how great she was. Shock over how what she did conflicts with the person they had known, yes. Shock over what happened yes. There is no excuse for murder, and the kids were not even immediately involved in the relationship, yet they were killed also. Yes, I can see a lot of potential for people who are hurting over this. Every woman and man has or had a mother and father, many had sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, children, and friends. And all are hurting. Murder never solves any problems, it only causes pain and more problems. And jealousy is not an acceptable excuse for murder.

  4. The truth said,

    July 29, 2006 at 5:51 pm

    With all do respect to anyone who reads this no one knew the family as i did i was with arthur for many yeasr and know how he was and no matter what when you trully love someone u let them go. You dont kill them or ur family to hurt others. Jealousy is and epedemic and it needs to be controlled but there is no medicine or meetings or cure its your own strength. Jealousy is with in us all but we as Gods children must have a control of it because we see now what it does it destroys. i visit his grave every day and every day i pray for what has happen doesnt happen again ever but realistically it will . i havent found it in my heart to forgive her soul for what she has done to those babies and Arthur but one day i will.(i pray ) Arthur use to always tell me love strong and love true because thats who u are .

  5. If Lani could speak said,

    August 9, 2006 at 4:13 am

    I think that everyone is just looking at the four lives that were taken but even though Arthur didn’t KILL anyone he is responsible for three lives being taken including his because Arthur knew that he was seeing other women the entire time that they were talking and that’s what was bothering Lani on top og Jamila’s last days I think that this should be a WAKE UP CALL for all WOMEN and MEN that are cheating and that’s the bottom line Arthur kept coming back and fourth sleeping with her if he was thru then he should have just left her alone especially since she had a sick daughter to raise and was a single parent and Lani’s ex-boyfriend Keith Butler stated that Arthur said he was seeing another woman but he and Lani was still off-and-on and Butler said if you leave, leave for good If you play with her emotions she gets feisty so Arthur knew what he was doing I don’t think that any of them should have died but ARTHUR is responsible for these MURDERS ALSO and I think that the people who are on the outside looking in should understand it from Lani’s point of view when she was alive she couldn’t find anyone to watch her kids and if she could then they was complaining or talking about her so how in the HELL could she find someone to watch them when she was DEAD when she was alive she didn’t want to be a burden on anyone and I think that she didn’t want her kids to be either so she took them with her and even thought Lani killed them we can all see what kind of mess she had to deal with when she was alive with his family and Keith’s she killed her entire family BUT WHO ARE WE TRYING TO PROVE ANYTHING TO these fools had the arrangements seperately I know that this really hurt both sides of the family but they were still family AND LANI LOVED THOSE KIDS I didin’i hear one person say anything bad about how she raised them and Jamila was her blood daughter and not Arthur’s they could at least put Jamila and Lani toether but why not all of them they are all gone WHAT ARE WE TRYING TO PROVE–SHE KILLED THEM SO HA HA HA SHE’S GOING TO BE BY HER SELF that’s just stupid they could have at least put them in seperate rooms at the mortuary

  6. If Lani could speak said,

    August 9, 2006 at 4:27 am

    The previous article from
    The truth said,
    at July 29, 2006 at 5:51 pm
    If Arthur really meant the things that he said he would have not been trating Lani like this or other women like this apparently you were with him also I could tell that you really loved him by the way that you spoke of him in your article but the BIBLE speaks of people like ARTHUR PENN also he was not perfect Lani loved that man and instead of trying to help her with her MENTAL PROBLEMS and everyone knows that she had one because she cried out for help to several people ARTHUR was the closest to her but instead he made the problem worse instead of getting her help and did you ever think that IF THOSE KIDS WOULD HAVE SURVIVED YEARS DOWN THE LINE THOSE KIDS WOULD HAVE BEEN WORSE AND THEY COULD HAVE EVEN KILLED THEMSELVES DEALING WITH THEIR MOTHER BEING GONE AND POSSIBLY THEIR FATHER–BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THE PERSON GOING BY THE NAME — THE TRUTH SAID YOU WANTED TO BE IN LANI’S SHOES YOU SEEM PRETTY JEALOUS ABOUT THE SITUATION AND NOW YOUR MAD THAT YOU HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE’S MAN-P.S. LANI WAS ONE OF THE BEST MOTHERS WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE ESPECIALLY BEING THAT SHE WAS YOUNG LIKE I’AM SHE TOOK CARE OF HER HOME I JUST HATE THAT SHE LOST IT BEHIND A NOBODY

  7. August 9, 2006 at 5:38 am

    I can agree that no one should cheat. At least not if they say they are being or will be faithful. And I agree that jealousy is hard to handle. But let’s face it, jealousy is not a valid reason for any murder. Not murder of the husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Nor is it a valid reason to murder your children.
    Lani always had the freedom to say- hey if you can’t be faithful, then I don’t want to be with you any more.
    I understand that Lani was under a lot of stress about her daughter’s illness, losing a child or the impending loss of a child is one of the most horrible things a parent can go through. But that is still no reason to kill not only that child, but also your other child.
    From the defense I am seeing of Lani, I understand that she was basically a good person, and a good friend. But even good people sometimes do wrong things.

  8. If Lani could speak said,

    August 9, 2006 at 6:47 am

    I think that you said that perfect and I know that murder is no excuse but AI think that people should understand that she eas not the monster peolple and the media made her out to be and someone should speak up for her like some people already have

  9. Little Cousin said,

    September 29, 2006 at 5:08 am

    First off, This is the first major death that has happen in our family. We are a small and distant family. My beatiful cousin Lani and I had so much alike to be so far apart and I hadn’t seen her in years. We were always together when we were younger and had similiar problems in adult life. SPEAKING HER WORDS: Nobody realize the pain and agony people go through when there youger that ad on to adulthood. She like I grew up with no male figure to really call your father and tend to look for that when your older thats why it is hard to let that person. Pouring out your emotions and all your profounded love that has been waiting for that one man to love you in your life. You tend to degrad yourself, lower your standards and self esteem knowing you can probably do better for love. Different people can tell you numerous times a day your to good for him, move on, your to pretty to be with a guy that’s going to hurt you. All you think is,” Why can’t he see that ? What did I ever do to make him treat me so bad ?” It’s hurts when a man can drag you through the mill and hurt you, but can turn around and give the love he suppose to give you to someone else. You think,” He owes that to me!
    He put me through the pain! She took every body she loved passionetly with her. She never wanted to a lone. I’m very sad, she was buried alone.

    I LOVE YOU LANI !

  10. September 29, 2006 at 5:47 am

    Little Cousin I am so sorry for your loss. And you bring up a good point. When a little girl grows up without a father figure it can affect her future relationships. Without a male figure to practice on, without a male figure to let her know she is special, it is hard for a girl to grow feelling that. (It even sometimes happens when there is a male figure as a role model).
    And I do totally understand the feelings involved. I know how totally enveloping they can be. And nothing against your cousin, it is not the feelings that I don’t understand- it is acting on them.
    A woman in this position still has options. With time the ending of the relationship does become easier. And if she doesn’t act on those feelings of rage, there is still the chance to see her son grow up, and to mourn her daughter as she should have been mourned when the time came for her. And there was always the possibility that in time she could meet someone else- someone even better.
    And it is the many others who are hurt and left behind.
    Little Cousin, I hope that your life gets better and that you are able to heal.

  11. A Weeping Family Left Behind said,

    September 30, 2006 at 3:19 am

    We all can speculate what Lani could have done and should have done differently with handling her Life’s stressors… But until you have walked not a mile but years (at the age of 16), in her shoes of Life taking care of a sick child, dealing with a hyperactive child, and two baby daddies drama; then we all can have something to talk about. We all agree that killing her family and herself was not the right option to take and we all agree that there was help. We didn’t say that Lani was perfect; but we can say that she took care of her responsibilities as best as she knew how. Lani was a great daughter, sister, niece, cousin and mother to her children and friends; however Lani was overwhelmed, frigthen and emotional troubled and assumed that she had no way out. That rainy day on Saturday, we will never know what triggered Lani’s mind (that was filled with potentially overloaded toughts and emotions about herself, her life struggles, her children, the man she loved so much and others in her life). “May the Grace of God be with the love ones of the other family members left behind and May God grant you peace!”
    According to Mother Teresa, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

  12. A Weeping Family Left Behind said,

    September 30, 2006 at 3:37 am

    As I walked away and turned back, I thought here is my niece:
    Here she lay
    her final resting place
    alone
    lying in a shinny white casket
    on a hot sunny day
    her troubles were over
    as the flowers of the family lay next to her
    her thoughts were free
    there was’t a sound to be heard
    not even a cry
    as her soul waited for its final resting place
    her arms are stretched wide
    as she waits on her family
    at the enters of God’s Loving gates
    forgive me she says
    for I know I have sinned
    God
    Please help me to make peace
    at my final place
    Scripture: “I said, Lord, be merciful to me; Heal my soul, for I have sinned against You.” (Psalm 41:4)
    Help us all Lord, to Heal!
    Auntie

  13. FRIEND OF FAMILY MEMBER said,

    October 1, 2006 at 5:14 am

    UNFORTUNATE AS IT IS, ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT IS TO HAPPEN AND ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE. ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAS HAPPENED, BUT FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE ASPECT OF WHAT GOOD LANI DID WHILE HERE AND CHERISH THE POSITIVE MEMORIES YOU HAVE OF HERE. THAT IS WHAT SHE IS TO YOU. SHE IS NOT SPIRITUALLY A MURDERER. SHE MAY HAVE MADE A BAD CHOICE BUT REMEMEBR THE POSITIVE ASPECT AND GO FORTH. TRY TO DO RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE AND USE THIS AS A STEPPING STONE. LIFE IS THIS SHORT AND THEN YOUR GONE. BE HAPPY THAT IS WHAT LANI WOULD HAVE WANTED FOR YOU……….

  14. FRIEND OF FAMILY MEMBER said,

    October 1, 2006 at 5:19 am

    UNFORTUNATE AS IT IS, ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT IS TO HAPPEN AND ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE. ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAS HAPPENED, BUT FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE ASPECT OF WHAT GOOD LANI DID WHILE HERE AND CHERISH THE POSITIVE MEMORIES YOU HAVE OF HER. THAT IS WHAT SHE IS TO YOU. SHE IS NOT SPIRITUALLY A MURDERER. SHE MAY HAVE MADE A BAD CHOICE BUT REMEMEBR THE POSITIVE ASPECT AND GO FORTH. TRY TO DO RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE AND USE THIS AS A STEPPING STONE. LIFE IS THIS SHORT AND THEN YOUR GONE. BE HAPPY, THAT IS WHAT LANI WANTED FOR HER CHILDREN, HERSELF, AND WOULD HAVE WANTED FOR YOU………. FRIEND

  15. The truth said,

    October 18, 2006 at 7:47 pm

    This is directed to “if lani could speak” im not jealous nor want to be in her shoes yes i had been in Arthurs life and we was together when lani and arthur had an affair, but i left i too had a sick child and was pregnant with arthurs baby but i found the strength to leave and be strong i cut arthur out my life. him and i never spoke until he came looking for me just before his death. he said that it was over with him and lani and that he had moved back in with his mother . Though even years later i still had strong feelings i new how he was and could not put myself or children thru that. i wished him the best brushed him with a kiss and told him i will always love you he said ditto as that was what we always said. So for me to understand what Lani did i dont she got him the way he did her. She could have just let them all alive and leave him alone and that would of hurt him more . Murder is not an excuse or acceptable murder is murder. he was a son brother father cousin uncle and a friend and so was those kids. all the excuses you speak on here are crazy if u love your children then let them live to have a full life and experience the love and excitement in life. but we cant change what is done but move forward and renmeber arthurs beautiful laughter and smile lil mans laughter and love for his dad and Jamilas fight to be strong in her struggles. i pray that one day i can 4give Lani not just for Arthurs death but lil man and jamilas too.I miss arthur very much as i had in the past 7 yrs but i always knew that he was alive now i miss him more.

  16. lil cous said,

    November 3, 2006 at 1:27 am

    I understand what your saying! If you knew aruthur you then must knew his munpilatives ways also because you left him. For so strange reason you didn’t stay with him either. Every women is different I understand you had a sick child but don’t compare your child to jamila’s at all. Because I really don’t believe that you had the pressure like Lani lifting and helping her daughter, in and out of hospitals. I feel sorry that you are trying to compare childern and by the way asthme doesn’t count. Men are gonna be men and women are going to be women everybody is titled to there on opinion but I will be damn to let you compare your life with my cousin’s on get a grip. She had to also deal with a very active little boy who always acted out because of the pain for his sister. You need to think outside the damn box not in the box. Because even if she just killed herself people like still would have somthing to say regardless. Killing is wrong true enough but you say you don’t forgive my cousin Lani, if you were a child of God you will know that you forgive all and now is bigger then the other. We were born in Sin . So get over your pity party stop picking out the good things Aruthur did for try to remeber some of the bad and why you left.
    Another thing you say thats how she got him, you will never know what he said about you to her to string her along for a relationship. For all you he could of said he was tired of you cheating on him and he was finally leaving. When a man wants something he will lie to get it just like a women so reminese throughly then write sweetie .Lil cous

  17. November 3, 2006 at 4:00 am

    The worst part of a family murder is what it does to friends and families afterwards. Little cous I understand you have lost. And I can understand that you are hurting. I know it must hurt to hear about others anger at your cousin. But how angry would you have been if it had been the other way around? Would you have sat back and calmly said “Oh well, she wasn’t perfect, she drove him to it?” Somehow I don’t think you would have.
    The people who lost Arthur are hurting also. And they have the right to be angry that he was taken from them by violence.
    So Arthur wasn’t perfect. Most people aren’t. But as far as I have read, he hasn’t been accused of killing anyone. What he did was exercise his choice to leave. For that he lost his life. And you appear to be trying to heap the blame for all the deaths on him yet as far as what is known about the murders- he didn’t pull the trigger.

  18. stacyray said,

    November 5, 2006 at 1:05 am

    this is the truth said , lil cousin my child didnt have asthma he had leukemia and i fought for his life every day and went thru alot of changes along the way . i blame lani yes i do arthur was already gone he left cause he wasnt happy and staying was making it hard for her and the kids and dont tell me about all the excuses with children cause we all have them. no arthur wasnt perfect at all and yes he did me her and many other women wrong buit thats when we have to take a look at who and what type of man we want . and for you to say i dont forgive lani i never said i didnt i said i pray every day to forgive . we all have trial and tribulations but thats what makes us stronger and makes us leave our legacy and teach our children. i learned alot from lani see i tried helping her when jamilia was a baby and she found out her baby was sick but see she took my kindness and took what i loved the most no matter what arthur told her she knew the truth so i dont have a pity party i said the truth and we reep what we sow .

  19. stacyray said,

    November 15, 2006 at 11:20 pm

    today would have been 11yrs if arthur and i had made it . i remeber this day 11 yrs ago like it was yesterday . i pray that all that has visited this site is healing cause thats what arthur would of wanted. Arthur i know you are my angel and i will one day see you again . i misss you and love you and i hope and pray that lil man and jamilia have found their peace. I visit you all the time and i know you hear me . you gave me strength to move on from you and love again and thats the best gift you ever gave me. Until we meet again i hol you near and dear in my heart.

  20. The truth said,

    January 18, 2007 at 6:32 am

    I am writing to say goodbye to this site. I have finally gotten the strength to forgive Lani and let her rest in Peace. I have also gotten the strength to let this go , but all who visit this site remeber all of them including Lani she was a weak soul that needed strentgh that noone knew she was lacking .Her children loved her dearly and trusted her and i know God has directed them to forgive her and believe she wasnt in her right mond to do what she did. I think about Arthurs mother daily and hope that she too can frogive for the loss of her Beautiful son and Grandson as she is a loving and caring person and a great Christian that taught the word forgive. To Lanis cousin please find peace within urself we dont hate Lani we just wish she had saved them and herself cause she had alot to live for and give her heart and passion to another man that would loved her the way she deserved and that what she took from herself and her children dont be angry at Arthur he never would have hurt her choice at life but i kno whe did hurt her heart. He was a great guy thats why she hurt so bad when it was over. But we all need to pray for peace and have forgivness. May God Bless Us All .

  21. Good Friends of All said,

    January 31, 2007 at 1:47 am

    So many of us have so many differnt opinions when it comes to how our hearts deal with such a tragedy.Each side has the right to be angry,Arthur’s family as well as Lani’s, will never understand what happened that day. But all of us need to understand that it is not our place to judge.But try to comprehend that there is a hidden message in all of this. That being we as sisters, friend, or co-workers need to lend that ear from time to time and really listen to what is being said to us. We need hear that cry for help that all of us seemed to miss in this situation. Everyone here wants to point fingers and yes ultimately Lani made this decision, but she reached her breaking point and not on her own. Lani was a strong person that may have very well made herself believe that she did not need anyone for help. Her last action as a mother, though not all will agree, was to protect her kids of the heartache that was sure to come from her heat of the moment action!! To us all and I include myself look into your heart ,live and learn ,forgive but don’t forget !!!


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