She did what she was supposed to do

A 13 year old girl went to her parents and told them she had been molested by one of her relatives,  Matthew Resh, 33.

However, parents doubted her story. So they consulted with their pastor Rev. Daryl P. Bujak, 30. Allegedly the pastor told the parents he thought the girl was lying. According to the mother she wasn't sure what to do so she turned to the pastor, who interviewed the girl for 2 hours:

"He said she recanted,"  "He said, 'I know these types of girls. She has a rebellious streak.'"

The pastor began 'counseling' the girl on a daily basis. It is alleged that a part of the weekly 'counseling' was a spanking with a 3-foot strip of wood molding. The mother had taken the girl to the counseling sessions and said that Bujak would take the girl to the ladies room and that afterwards the girl would be red faced and crying.  The girl was clothed during the 'counseling', but suffered from bruises and welts over her legs and buttocks. This allegedly occurred on Wednesday evenings between Mar. 2005 and May 2005.

In Oct. of 2005, the mother says she had a 'heart to heart' talk with her daughter and that she realized the girl was telling the truth. She then turned to the police.

At some point police became aware of the activities and began an investigation. And they believe the girl. They say there is credible evidence to believe she was abused from Sept. 2003 until Mar. 2005. Reportedly there is DNA evidence.  

The mother is now expressing remorse for the events that happened. She say the girl is now going to private counseling and is no longer attending that church. She says that she and the girl are now trying to rebuild their relationship.

Matthew Resh has now been charged with  5 counts of predatory criminal sexual assault. The pastor Bujak has been charged with battery, a misdemeanor for the spankings he gave her. The pastor Bujak is now out on bond. And so is Matthew Resh.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-spank12.html

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-060511pastor-beating,1,1762756.story?coll=chi-news-hed

First the girl is sexually abused for more than a year.

It isn't easy for a child to tell parents they are being abused. It is scary, because they don't know what will happen if they tell. Many times the child has been threatened by the abuser or often will feel that somehow what happened was their fault. It is often embarrassing, because in order tell- they often have to use words that their parents often discourage them from using. So just telling a parent is difficult.

But most of us teach our kids to turn to us if they are having problems. And she did. She had that embarrassing moment where she told the parents what happened to her. Then she had two hours where she had to discuss this with the family pastor. And this was followed by her mother taking her to weekly meetings with the pastor, where she was spanked for lying and this went on for 3 months.

Experts are saying this girl was betrayed 3 times. Once by the relative who abused her, once by the parents who didn't believe her, and once by the pastor who then physically abused her. And they say that in the future she will likely have a lot of problems with trust.

First of all, parents should believe a child……at least until they get proof that the child is not telling them the truth. Especially in this area. Yes, it is possible that the girl had lied. But that couldn't be really determined until an investigation is done. But the pastor is not trained to investigate allegations of sexual abuse. Yet he chose to punish the girl, instead of helping them to make contact with children's services or the police department for investigation.

Now don't get me wrong. I have a lot of respect and admiration for pastors. There is usually no one better prepared to assist a family with emotional support during troubled times. But they are not trained to investigate crimes. 

The child did what she was supposed to do. It was the adults that failed.

Advertisements

2 Comments

  1. May 18, 2006 at 11:28 am

    […] She did what she was supposed to do […]

  2. Motherbear said,

    May 19, 2006 at 11:27 pm

    This girl first accused and told at 6 years old…these adults failed for a very long time… God will have His way in the end here.


%d bloggers like this: