Getting on with life

 Rosaura Duprey, 43, was at her daughter's home on Wed. When she left she took her 4 year old grandson with her and promised she would be back later.

However,  Ernie Duprey was the one who dropped the child off. He left the child hurriedly, and didn't say much. The child was crying and told his mother that he had seen Ernie hit his grandmother. So the daughter calls police.

When police responded to the Duprey home, they found Rosaura Duprey with fatal gunshots to her head and leg. Police believe that the child was in the home when she was killed.

Ernie Duprey and Rosaura Duprey were separated. Witnesses have said that Erie had become increasingly jealous recently, accusing Rosaura of having an affair. Witnesses and relatives say she wasn't. However, she was due to graduate from a medical assistant program in 3 weeks, and she did have plans to divorce her husband.

Ernie Duprey was a former state corrections officer. He had no criminal history. Police began looking for Ernie. He was found in Texas, and is now awaiting extradition back to Connecticut where he is facing a murder charge.

http://www.connpost.com/news/ci_3787989

http://www.wtnh.com/Global/story.asp?S=4867868&nav=3YeX

Thankfully, he didn't physically hurt the child. But I wonder if he considered the psychological harm he did to him? By the age of 4, many children have memories that they will remember later in life. Certainly the traumatic death of his grandmother whom he loved and spent time with, at the hands of the grandfather whom he also presumably loved would be a memory that is likely etched in his mind. Sure some of the details may fade with time. But the fear, the sense of loss- those are likely to stick with him.

A woman, who is accused of having an affair. Relatives and witnesses say that isn't true. And she wouldn't be the first person who was killed over an affair, with no basis in fact-except in the accusers mind. I suspect that the real problem was not in an alleged affair. It was the fact that she planned to get a divorce. And not only that, she was going forward without her husband- embarking on a career, doing OK, and getting on with a life without him.

There are adult children out there, grieving, torn between family love and loyalty. A nightmare for them. Torn between love for a father and the loss of their mother at his hands. And at least one of those children is coping with her son's trauma at being a witness. Children often develop their own fantasies over a traumatic event and often they feel guilty over those events. How do make a 4 year old understand that what happened was not his fault, and that their was nothing he could have done? And that someday those nightmares will go away?

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More info is coming out about Duprey's capture. Police had received a tip that Duprey was headed for New York, where he intended to board a bus and go to Mexico. Dallas police were there when the bus stopped and Duprey was taken without incident.

http://www.connpost.com/news/ci_3792424

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24 Comments

  1. Soobs said,

    May 6, 2006 at 6:24 pm

    I have a friend, whose sister-in-law, and mother-in-law were murdered, in the hospital, by the SIL’s estranged husband. She had a restraining order, and the nurse saw the husband in her room, and yelled for security. Before they got there, he had shot his wife, and her mother, who was visiting. There was a manhunt by the RCMP, and when they found him two or three days later, he commited suicide. Oh………….he was a prison guard.

  2. May 7, 2006 at 4:05 pm

    In the hospital? Wow! I just don’t get the idea that they say they love them, yet they will murder rather than see them be happy with someone else.
    Yes, breaking up is hard. Yes, it can sometimes be devastating on the person who is still in love. But to rather see them dead than happy is just something I don’t understand.

  3. Soobs said,

    May 9, 2006 at 3:47 pm

    It floors me, no question.

  4. Bella said,

    June 17, 2006 at 9:58 pm

    I worked with Rosa back in 1987 and knew of her relationship with her husband. I never experienced domestic violence until I reached my 20’s and I completely understand the whys, hows and the mechanisms of escaping a violent relationship. Rosie finally gained strength to leave him and he finally killed her for doing so. The fear is what kept her mobilized and when he finally saw that this no longer can keep her there, he ended it all. My heart aches for the women and children who are suffering due to lack of resources and/or lack of will to live the way we are intended to live. But I have also researched to be aware of the signs and to get out early and with safety. God rest her soul. Bella

  5. Bella said,

    June 17, 2006 at 10:02 pm

    In response to “homesweethome”‘s comment, love has nothing to do with domestic violence. If you truly love someone, you would never want to bring them harm physically or mentally . . . its about control and not having self-control. Love was never the basis in the beginning of any domestic violent relationship.

  6. Bella said,

    June 17, 2006 at 10:04 pm

    Correction “immobilized” is the proper word.

  7. June 18, 2006 at 1:52 am

    I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. She sounds like a loving woman and grandmother. She was so close to making it out. I know in some ways that makes it harder on family and friends, but keep in mind- she was finally living with some hope in her life. Something that an abused person often lacks.
    And I apologize for my wording. I agree it is about control. But many times the offender will say "because I loved" is what I was referring to. Though I think what they often mean is "because I say we're in love, and we will stay together until I say we are no longer in love".
    Often when a divorce is mentioned, the first question asked is "is there someone else"? But with an abusive person, it is often not a question, it is an assumption. They cannot admit the role that domestic violence played in the relationship and in it's failure, therefore the blame has to lie elsewhere. And that is where the imaginary "lover" or "boyfriend" comes in.

  8. Denice said,

    June 18, 2006 at 4:45 am

    This is CRAZY! i would have never thought i would be reading something like this. on the computer especially!!..this is my mother. yes i am the daughter of this woman who got murdered by her husband, my father. i have no words for this matter. just pain n my heart.

  9. June 18, 2006 at 4:54 am

    Denice I am very sorry for your tremendous loss. I know that is a pitiful expression, and I know that doesn't help. But it is all that I can offer.

  10. Bella said,

    June 21, 2006 at 8:12 pm

    Denise, I am so so sorry for you and your sisters. I know exactly what your mother experienced as I lived in the same situation twice with two different men. Everyone assumes that its easy to leave but it isn’t – in order to experience this, one must live through it. I wish you and your family the best in the years to come – time never heals – that’s what they say, but its not true. I lost my mother in 2000 and I still cry unexpectedly from time to time. Please e-mail me at a b t o r r e s @ goodwin . com. I’d love to hear from you.

  11. Rosaura E. Duprey said,

    June 23, 2006 at 2:38 am

    This is such a tragedy and just unbelievable of what has happened.. I am the oldest daughter, and mother of the 4 year old who was present when this occured and i’m frustrated, upset, sad and nothing can’t replace this.. To me Ernie Duprey is Dead for me also. How can he do this to someone everyone loved and for someone who catered her all to him and even though he mistreated her verbally, she always stood by his side no matter what and this is what she gets???? I don’t understand! He’s a liar and the so called affair is not true and i’ll pay someone to come forward to say it was.. It was not true and she just finally opened her eyes and said enough is enough and this is what she gets. And he doesn’t feel any remorse of what he’s done. God works in mysterious ways and justice will be serve for all of us cause We love her so much!!!!!! I love you Mommy. Rest in Peace no more torture!

  12. June 23, 2006 at 2:53 am

    Rosaura Duprey, first of all let me tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. Violence on a family member is always hard. But when it is done by another family member, then it is especially tragic. I am sorry, not only for the loss of your mother, but for the trauma that was present in your life even before you lost her. I didn’t know your mother. But I am also a mother. I think that what I would want for my children, would be for them to remember me at happier times. I hope that someday you can remember her that way.
    I also hope your son is doing ok.

  13. BERNICE DUPREY said,

    May 3, 2007 at 4:35 am

    I JUST HAD DISCOVERED THAT THIS HOME SWEET HOME ARTICLE WAS IN THE NAME OF MY MOTHER…….YES, I’M THE MIDDLE CHILD OF BOTH ROSA AND ERNIE DUPREY AND IT SO HAPPENS THAT A YEAR TODAY SHE WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM US……IT’S JUST TO UNBEARABLE TO EVEN IMAGINE IT EVER DID, AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE A NIGHTMARE , THAT I HAVEN’T WOKE UP FROM…….I’M SURPRISED OF THE REPONSES … AND VERY GRATEFUL , THAT SHE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE A PERFECT IMAGE OF A GOOD WOMAN, MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER………THE PAIN IS STILL GROWING ….BUT I JUST HOPE , FOR THE SAKE OF OUR WELL BEING, THAT IT’LL GET BETTER……I JUST CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED…………N JUST TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT …MY MOM WAS NOT SEPARATED FROM MY DAD……HE DID WHAT HE DID, WHEN THEY WERE STILL TOGETHER… SO JUST A LITTLE MESSAGE FOR WOMAN WHO ARE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILIAR ….IT DOESN’T GET BETTER AND IT DOESN’T MATTER IF UR STILL TOGETHER …GET OUT IF YOU CAN!!!!!! REST IN PEACE MAMI…..5/3/06

  14. Nay Penaloza said,

    October 9, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    Well Ernie is my cousin’s father but he’s not my uncle or anything and YEAH Rosaura was a very nice woman my mother tells me because they knew each other and Ernie thought that she was cheating ………we don’t know the truth only God does but she was planning on getting a divorce after she graduated from college which would have been in a couple of weeks!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Rosaura E.Duprey said,

    November 12, 2007 at 9:03 am

    This comment is to Nay Penaloza. Who’s your cousin? I don’t recall your name unless your making it up. Ernie not a father he’s a coward and a selfish bastard! He took my mom life for no reason. He was the one cheating and he made it seem like my mom was doing it. Please! God does know the truth and he has my mom with open arms and is taking good care of her unlike Ernie.

  16. Bella said,

    May 2, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    Some time has passed and I wondered if anyone knows the outcome of Ernie’s sentence.

  17. May 2, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    It looks like all the articles are now in the news archives. But it does look as though he did plead guilty to charges of manslaughter and risk of injury to a minor.

    Registration required
    http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-28845378_ITM

  18. May 4, 2008 at 4:39 am

    I usually check this site at times .. Thanks Bella for trying to keep up to what has happened.. Ernie was sentenced in January 2007 and they only gave him 32 years in prision. He is currently at the Chesire facility and under protected custody because as you know he use to work as a Correctional Officer before this. I hope the 32 years that he is in there that he lives with this for the rest of his life cause he left us without a Wonderful mother & Grandmother. Today is mommie’s 2nd anniversary that she has past and it feels like yesterday. We think about her everyday.. May she rest in Peace. 😦 Love you MOm.

  19. May 4, 2008 at 8:06 am

    Thank you Rosaura.

  20. Bella said,

    May 5, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Thank you for the update. I search the web to find out information and always come up with nothing. Protective custody eh? There is a saying that goes “What you do here on earth – you will pay for it here and now and not in the next lifetime.” All of you are left with wonderful memories of your mother as I am left with her laughter and bright smile wherever I would find her, whether at social gatherings or the food market. I wish you all the best, especially the baby that witnessed this. Love and take care of each other.

  21. Rosaura E Duprey said,

    May 7, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    I’ve been thinking this a whole lot.. In 1989 I saw a true fact movie about Tracey Thurman who lived in Torrington, CT who’s right’s was violated by the police not protecting her from her abusive husband and she was left paralyzed by him stabbed multiple times and sue the town and they made a law by her name.. I think about my mom’s situation everyday and the Bridgeport Police was notified 2 months prior to my mom’s death that my father Ernie was shooting at someone who he thought my mom had a so-called fling with and that wasn’t true at all. The cops were called and a full description was given for my father by myself and boyfriend because we were present when he went balistic and nothing was done about it. I believe if the cops got more involved and that this incident was serious that my mom ROsaura would be alive today. Ernie doesn’t have the rights to just take out his gun and shoot somone. I bet if it was any random person not affiliated with the police force or the correctional officer field . They would proably be in jail today.. Can you give me some advice or guidance if I should pursue on speaking with someone. Thanks.

  22. May 8, 2008 at 3:24 am

    Rosaura, there are things you can do. Make contact with your local domestic violence agency and tell them your connection. Ask them what they need. Some DV agencies use volunteers, most need money, some take donations, they may have lists to be notified when a DV related law needs support, and many other possible needs.

    As far as to whether you take any action against anyone, you would really need to speak with an attorney to see if they can find legal grounds for any actions.

  23. Daniel said,

    October 1, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    Im the grandson i have grown up and i still have nightmares about it.I wish i could have done some thing about it.I will miss my grandmother very much.:( Forever you will be missed.Love you Yaya

  24. Nancie said,

    March 31, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    I saw the movie n i been thinking why didnt tracey two yr old son at the time didnt get help? Nw he sitting in jail i hope he does turn out like hs dad buck thurman needs a beat down


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