What is a marriage?

Couples meet, assess each other, possibly fall in love, and get married. But unlike the romance stories, the story doesn't end there.

Then they have to learn to live together. There is of a series of conflict, then emotional bonding, conflict, then more bonding and this could go on throughout the marriage as couples work out who is responsible for what in the relationship.

Those responsibilities can range from who is going to make the financial decisions to the more mundane such as who is going to cook dinner.

Marriage is not an easy road and some couples make it and some don't. Some couples go so far to protect themselves that they write up a prenuptial marriage contract. This is about one of those types of contracts and about how game playing can become a lifestyle, and what happens when a person no longer wishes to participate in that lifestyle.

Often during a divorce the "marital secrets" come out.

 Kevin J. Anderson, 50, and Kimberly E. O'Brien, 45, met on a skiing trip in 2000. Allegedly Anderson told O'Brien that he wasn't married and had no children. Turns out he did. Anderson alleges that O'Brien was a paid escort, O'Brien denies that and says they met by chance.

A few months later they began an intimate relationship. In 2002 the couple signed a six page "slavery contract." O'Brien denies signing the contract. In 2004 Anderson divorced his wife. In 2005 Anderson and O'Brien married.  Four months later, Anderson files for divorce. Seven months later, O'Brien filed a suit against Anderson asking for $60 million dollars in damages, alleging that he forced her to sign the "slave contract", hid assets from her, mentally and physically abused her, and forced her to have an abortion.

Allegedly she is claiming damages back to the beginning of the relationship. O'Brien alleges that Anderson cheated her on joint business dealings, took photographs of her bound and naked body, which she later found and forced her to abort a child. She alleges that their "lifestyle" included sex with high priced call girls, and regular beatings.

"He told me I had to be a good slave. He also told me not to tell anybody about any of this, or my face would be beaten so badly, I wouldn't recognize it in the mirror."  Anderson alleges she is making it all up.

The Slave Contract. The Smoking Gun has the contract, all 6 pages of it. It was allegedly signed before the marriage. And the contract states that it is not legally binding. The "contract" spells out a master/slave relationship, and includes a "safe word", a set of rules and an escalating scale of "punishments".

O'Brien says that Anderson made increased demands after the marriage. Anderson denies being abusive, and denies the abortion claim.  

Records seem to indicate that police were dispatched to the couple's home between Aug. and Sept. 2005. In Oct. 2005 police were dispatched to a local restaurant and resulted in Anderson being charged with domestic abuse and a restraining order granted. One article claims that police have arrested Anderson multiple times for domestic violence and states that they once found O'Brien with bruises and whip marks on her body.

Both Anderson and O'Brien have had previous criminal convictions against them. Anderson was convicted of 10 counts of maintaining commercial gambling supplies in 1997 and O'Brien was convicted of drunken driving in 2004. http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/local/14469510.htm



Is this the case of a gold-digger looking to profit from Anderson's assets and his "lifestyle"? Or a couple who tried out the "lifestyle" and one person who decided she couldn't live with the terms? Or is this an abusive relationship? I am not even going to touch that, that is for the court to sort out. I suspect the truth will come out to be somewhere in the middle.

A few things I would like to point out though. The contract was allegedly written and signed about 3 years before the marriage. There has been at least 4 instances of police involvement, at least one of which was in public and charges against Anderson were filed. And the "Master" is the one who filed for the divorce. The "Slave's" response did not come till several months later.

This is the second time that I have become aware of a "contract" involving a marital relationship has become an item of evidence in a court case, and has come to my attention. The previous "contract" and resulting post can be found here.



  1. Magnolia said,

    May 3, 2006 at 6:44 am

    I keep thinking this has to be a hoax….but nooooo….there’s a lot of oddballs in ” them thar hills” What the hell were they thinking doesn’t begin to cover it.
    I know this sounds mean,but I kind of hope they both wind up with nothing…and that the attorneys take it all.

  2. May 3, 2006 at 7:04 am

    I have a feeling it is going to be an interesting court trial.
    I guess some people do enjoy the “lifestyle”, but man are they leaving themselves wide open, if anything goes wrong.
    Either goes wrong in the relationship or goes wrong in the “discipline”.

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