Separating and divorcing is a volatile time

During the time of separating and filing for divorce is a  volatile time. Tempers are on edge, long held grudges flare up. People often act in uncharacteristic ways during this time period. And women are not the only ones who should be concerned.

Saturday night, a witness heard an alarm going off in the residence of Grace Pianka, 48. He called police. When police responded they found the body of her husband, but no Grace.

Allegedly the couple were splitting up, and the husband had moved out. He allegedly returned to the home about 6 pm to pick up some of his belongings. Grace returned to the home while he was there.

Grace was found in her vehicle on Sun. The vehicle was parked at a little league field 130 miles away. At the time she was found, she was unconscious, but was moving around and making noises. A bottle of aspirin was found on the seat beside her.

Grace was taken to the hospital where she was admitted and she has been charged with 2 nd degree murder. Police are declining to discuss the details of the crime and they are not naming the husband. The husband's parents reside in Poland and have not been notified of his death as yet.

When a couple separates it is a horrible time. Lots of anger, frustration, sorrow, guilt and other strong emotions floating around. Every "wrong" that ever occurred during the marriage will be thought of during that time period. Things that were previously forgiven will take on a new intensity.

To some degree this is necessary to sever the bonds in the relationship. But when you start adding this old stuff to the new emotions- it can easily get out of hand.

Add to that the fact that you have to separate belongings, resolve financial issues, consider legal issues, children may have to be considered and all of the other decisions that come with breaking up a marriage or relationship.

Don't assume you know how a person will act during this time. Like I said, people often behave in uncharacteristic ways.


Pianka has alleged that that her husband was having an affair with a woman he met over the internet. Reportedly she had tailed him and the girlfriend on Sat.

According to court documents, the affair began in Oct when they met on a website. Allegedly, they were both married and planned to leave their spouses without telling them of the affair. Kostewicz left the home a week before the murder.

The girlfriend had become concerned when she didn't hear from Adam Kostewicz, 41, so she called police. She didn't have an exact address however, so she drove to the residence. Allegedly, she peeped in a bedroom window and saw Adam's bloody face.

When Pianka was found unconcious in her car, they not only found a bottle of aspirin, they found two letters addressed to people and they contained a cashier's check for $19,000 and cash in the amount of $5,000.

Allegedly, Pianka has told police that at one point she had faked an overdose when her husband found her with pills strewn around the home. She later admitted not taking them.

Allegedly the gun was kept locked up. About 48 hours before the shooting, Pianka told her husband that her drug abuser adult son had threatened her and she asked him to unlock the gun for her, which he did.



  1. thpunishrr said,

    April 21, 2006 at 1:16 pm

    I have heard from people who have been through some tough times in wars and combat as well as divorce. They some times compare the two and say that they are equally as hard on them and that divorce may even be more traumatic. I wish people would really spend a lot of time with each other and really know their partner before commiting to marriage. Good post HSH.

  2. April 21, 2006 at 3:02 pm

    Thanks P. Good to see you.

  3. UnixKing said,

    April 17, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    Adam was a dear friend of mine and I also knew Grace. One can’t imagine what happens between two people over the course of a relationship, however Adam and Grace had been together for over 10 years. Saying that people spending more time with each other would’ve have prevented Grace from shooting Adam at least 5 times, even after he hit the floor. Being unhappy never means that you can kill another. Adam’s death has changed many lives in dramatic ways. Adam didn’t want to hurt Grace, but it’s quite obvious that Grace did want to hurt Adam. God bless Adam and may his sole rest in peace.

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