For some couples it seems to be life as normal

Instead of his and her towels, this couple had his and hers protection orders. Cops were called to the home 33 times for domestic disputes. Between the both of them they had 10 arrests, and half were for domestic disputes. In 2002, he spent 30 days in jail for punching his wife. In 2006, he was arrested for striking his wife with a metal pipe.

 The wife was arrested in 2005 for threatening to stab her husband and throwing a bottle of vodka at him. 

After all of that, they weren’t supposed to be living together. Yet they were arrested in in Jan of this year when the husband broke down a door and was yelling and cursing his wife.  

They had a 20 year old daughter, she takes care of her 6 year old brother and her 16 year old sister. They had been married for 21 years. What the daughter said about it was “I really don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” the student said of her dad. “We hardly see him and when we do, it’s once a year.”

One neighbor described them by saying “When they were not drunk, they were nice,” “Nobody paid attention to [the bickering because] they were always fighting.”

Another neighbor said  “They have a strange kind of love. They can’t live together and they can’t live without each other.”

Sunday police were called to the address by a neighbor who had found John Shiwlall, 43 lying in the open doorway of the home in a pool of blood. His wife Sharon Shiwlall, 38 is being questioned in his death.

That is just so sad. Can you imagine the life of that daughter? What her life must have been like growing up? And even after she did grow up and leave, she was responsible for her younger brother and sister, in order to get them out of that situation. They were married for 21 years! They had 3 children together. And being arrested, losing their kids- nothing seems to have convinced them to either change or to split up. I am sorry. I believe in the domestic violence syndrome. But this goes too far even for me! Now she is in jail, and he is dead. But as usual, it is the kids who are paying for it. They are the ones who had to grow up in that atmosphere. And that daughter had to take on an instant family at her young age stepping in for her brother and sister, when her parents couldn’t or wouldn’t provide a safe home for them.

My personal opinion, there should be a domestic violence program that the courts could order both parties of a domestic violence dispute to attend. Maybe they would still decide to get back together. Maybe things still wouldn’t change for them. But they would at least be making informed decisions about the domestic violence and the effect it has on the kids, on each other, and on their chances of survival. And maybe if they had been determined to be high risk, due to drugs, alcohol abuse, or mental illness or whatever- just maybe it could be recognized and steps taken to correct it. Or at least more attention could have been paid to the kids care. Maybe it wouldn’t help. But I bet those kids would say that it might have been better than what they had.

Can you imagine what it was like to live next to them?


1 Comment

  1. elitist said,

    March 22, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    Oh boy.

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