Children having children

Police were called to the home of Sabrina Soltis, 20, and her boyfriend Rodney Cole, 19, on Wed. due to a domestic disturbance call. Apparently, the dispute was about the baby. The mother wanted to take the baby to the hospital due to bruising around it’s eyes, but Cole didn’t want to as he knew he may have caused the bruising. During the call, one of the officers noted that the 5 month old child’s eyes appeared red so the child was taken to the hospital for examination. There doctors found several factures on his ribs, arms, and femur. The fractures were thought to have occurred in the last month.

During questioning, the boyfriend admitted that when the baby was crying he would roughhouse with it, to stop the crying. The mother said she would squeeze him to get him to stop crying. Both the mother and the boyfriend were thought to have held the baby’s head under water to stop him from crying.

 http://www.nbc6.net/news/7848576/detail.html

http://cbs4.com/topstories/local_story_068111357.html

The police department puts the blame on the fact that the couple was young and immature and didn’t know how to nuture a child.  But I think it is more than that. Most people have realized by the age of 19 and 20, that causing pain is not the way to get someone to stop crying. I don’t believe all the injuries were unintentional.

The baby remains in the hosp. and is in the temporary custody of the children’s protective services. The baby’s maternal grandparents have come from out of state to see if they can get custody of the baby.

Now a lot of people will try to blame everyone. The mother for inflicting pain and not stopping the boyfriend. The boyfriend for inflicting injuries and not wanting to take the child to the hospital. I have even seen people blame the grandparents for raising such a child as the parent.

But one person you won’t hear a lot about is the father. He remains out of state. There is no indication that the father ever abused the child. Yet he isn’t stepping forward now. That would lead me to believe that he hasn’t been too involved in the child’s life. Too me, he is just as guilty as the mother. No he may not have witnessed any abuse. But by not staying in contact with the child, he increases the risk of abuse for the child. And even after the fact, you don’t see him stepping up to be a Dad.

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20 Comments

  1. March 10, 2006 at 1:33 pm

    This is just appalling! I’m so mad I can barely think straight! I hate people hurting children, it flips on all my Mama Bear instincts. Unlike you though, I am unwilling to distribute the blame more evenly. I think the most culpability lies with the actuall abusers. It’s well and good to say the father isn’t stepping up to bat, but does he even know he is a father? I don’t know. It wouldn’t be the first time someone became a father without knowing anything about it. If he does know, than you are right and he is accountable.
    It’s cases like these that make me wonder why on earth most courts feel the biological family is always the best choice! All this poor baby needs is to go to the people who raised it’s stupid abusive parent!
    see? My Mama Bear hackles are up! GRRRRRR.

  2. elitist said,

    March 10, 2006 at 5:06 pm

    Jesus Christ.

  3. Concerned said,

    March 15, 2006 at 3:31 am

    This is such a tragedy! I personally think the blame belongs where it is put! A mother who live is Florida with her boyfriend and beats and lets her son be beaten shouldnt be without conviction. As for the parents of the abuser, when your 20 year old daughter is pregant and leaves the state to live with her boyfriend, what can they do? For all we know they are wonderful people who adopted a broken young girl trying to heal the hurt caused by dysfunction.
    I think you should be careful to throw the first stone at a family willing to step forth in love.

  4. jarrod said,

    April 13, 2006 at 11:49 pm

    hi my name is jarrod ward and i am the father of the baby in question .there are people out tring to blame me for this .for one i have been tring to get custody from day one .sabrina left before the baby was even born. i tried to get a hold of her several times. she told me i would never see the baby at all.when the baby was born she didnt even put my name as the father.when i found out what was going on i contacted the cps in florida.when i heard the story on the news i finely knew were she was.know i am going the process to get my little boy.

  5. April 14, 2006 at 3:31 am

    Jarrod. Thank you for setting me straight on this. I am happy to hear that you are stepping up for your child and I wish you luck and a good attorney. A child needs a parent who is willing to stand up for him/her, a parent who will love and care for him/her and will put them first. Now is your chance, and I wish you all the luck in the world. If/when you get custody, you love and take care of that baby.

  6. Shi said,

    April 15, 2006 at 4:45 pm

    ok I have to get my comment in here. Since the dad Jarrod is my cousin and the mother is my sister-in-law (sorry to say). He has been looking for her every sine C.P.S. was called on her up here in Michigan because she left Matthew (the baby) alone for 45 mins. When they got involed she ran down there. Not giving anyone her address.But C.P.S. has had the chance to stop this twice and hasen’t since they were called again about two weeks before he has took by a family member. I really thank the neighbor who called the police and put a stop to it . But to “onegirlsopinion” from the stuff Sabrina has told us about how her foster parents were to her I dont think that is the best place for Matthew either. Believe me he will be well taken care of here.

  7. April 15, 2006 at 5:48 pm

    So Sabrina was in foster care for a while?

  8. Shi said,

    April 15, 2006 at 6:27 pm

    Sabrina has been in foster care since she was 2 weeks old.

  9. April 15, 2006 at 7:18 pm

    Is the child still in foster care?

  10. Shi said,

    April 19, 2006 at 6:51 am

    Yes he is still in foster care until a custody hearing.

  11. mixednuts said,

    April 19, 2006 at 7:14 am

    It’s sad. But yes, it’s true that there are a lot of children getting children of their own, especially in the provinces. My grandmother’s maid had her first child at age 16. I can imagine how traumatic it must be to raise kids while one is still in need of raising himself/ herself.

    In fairness to her though, she raised her kids pretty well.

    Still, I don’t think youth is an excuse to treat your own kids roughly. I got pregnant when I was 19 and my husband was 20. My husband’s family and mine were so enraged that they cut us off without a cent. For a while, we had to try subsisting on P30 a day. That’s roughly 50 American cents.

  12. mixednuts said,

    April 19, 2006 at 7:14 am

    It’s sad. But yes, it’s true that there are a lot of children getting children of their own, especially in the provinces. My grandmother’s maid had her first child at age 16. I can imagine how traumatic it must be to raise kids while one is still in need of raising himself/ herself.

    In fairness to her though, she raised her kids pretty well.

    Still, I don’t think youth is an excuse to treat your own kids roughly. I got pregnant when I was 19 and my husband was 20. My husband’s family and mine were so enraged that they cut us off without a cent. For a while, we had to try subsisting on P30 a day. That’s roughly 50 American cents.

    It never occured to us, though, to give the baby away, leave it at home, or treat it roughly.

  13. April 19, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    Thank you Shi. Are some of the relatives the foster parents? 

    Mixed Nuts, are you doing ok now?

  14. david said,

    April 20, 2006 at 9:27 pm

    jarrod is my n he is agood dad she told him he would not get tee see his son i thank she suold hang

  15. April 20, 2006 at 10:31 pm

    Welcome to Home Sweet Home David. Jarrod has left a previous comment and he sounds like a well spoken young man. LOL, hanging may be a bit extreme, but I hope that Jarrod is going forward with his bid for custody through the courts.

  16. Shi said,

    August 18, 2006 at 9:42 pm

    We found out the best news yesterday 8/17. The dad Jarrod is getting full custody of his little boy. The moms rights were terminated. The baby is doing great.

  17. August 18, 2006 at 10:06 pm

    Shi, thanks for letting me know and tell Jarrod I said congratulations. Raising a baby is an awesome responsibility but it is one with some of the greatest joy also. Give that baby love and care and he will be fine. I wish you all luck and love.

  18. johnnie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    my mother had me at the age of 14. I had a rough life growing up(there was alcoholics and fighting all the time in our household). I am glad that i had a grandmother to love me and show me that not all people are bad.
    I wish you all the best of luck who are involved in this. Although it is unfortunate, that baby has a life of love ahead of him, and i see when he gets home that he will have nothing but love; you are all in my prayers.

  19. sabrina said,

    September 25, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    I am Sabrina the one liste above this is my first time seeing all of this and it disturbs me to the uttmost… I have been waiting to hear about this stuff for a long time and i am very angry that you all would talk so bad about a person that you have no idea abot… listen to the father and his family all you want they know nothing… It’s been almost 5 years since this incident and i still feel no justice as come about… my life and my sons life were at stake no one really knows what trauma t hs caused me or my son along with my famimly…. you all realll need to take a look at yourselves… you cannnot judge a book by it’s cover… and thenews likes to add stuff that’s nttrue…pleas take into consideration that i did not want this to happen to me or my son… I WISH I COULD TAKE IT BACK BUT GOD KNOWS CAN’T!! S SHI AND JARROD MAYBE YOU BOTH SHOULD HANG FOR THE SIMPLE FACT THAT YOU WOULD TRY TO PLAY GOD!! I LOVE BOTH OF MY SONS!!

  20. April 5, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    This is a very sad situation and I said all along that Sabrina should give up custody and no one listened to me! I called CPS here in Mich several times about the situation. I sat with her in the emergency room when he was only 2 weeks old and watched and listened to the BS. I gave her my household goods, while she was in the hospital I helped get her into a very nice 2 bedroom apartment in subsidized housing. I took care of Mathew when she had to go back into the hospital, the same day I brought her home to my apartment where she had been living the last 3months of her pregnancy!!! I spent lots of money and time Love and prayed Alot! Sabrina, you can blame everyone in life for all the pain they caused you…and live this way for the rest of your miserable life. OR You can say to yourself and the rest of the world…look part of my life was rough, more like HELL, BUT I WILL NOT EVER INFLICT THAT HELL ON ANYONE. Just because I had it terrible does not give me cause to use that pain to hurt someone else or use it to make people feel sorry for me. I as a mature person need help and I need to take it and grow even tho sometimes going back to walk through the pain is scary, I have to do it FOR ME. Sabrina, once you start to live in the light of the truth, in spite of the pain, life becomes an open door to greater things. We can choose, how we act. You need help girlfriend, but you are the only one who can call out for it. I am sorry to see that you are still living in the world of a very angry person. If you love your son(s) as you say you do, do the right thing and get some help and give them the VERY BEST you have to offer. Do not make your children suffer as you had to suffer at the hands of angry, selfish, confused, and very Scared “adults”. Step up to the plate and get yourself some help, you will see that life is better for you. Now I will leave you with some things I learned THE HARD WAY: If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got…If you want to have what you have never had, you have got to do what you have never done. Please never wish evil on anyone as it will surely come back to you 100 fold.
    And Jared, you LIED. Sabrina did not go to Fl until after Mathew was born! If you want to raise an honest child you must be an honest person. Your child watches very move you make and listens to every word you speak. I wish you both much love and many prayers in your lives, may you find peace and happiness always. Victoria


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