An artist speaks about Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence 

He loves me and I believe him.
Afterall, hitting me is not a sin.
I know I deserve it anyhow
and there’s nothing I can do about it now.

I mean, come on,
What’s another black eye to please this guy?
This man is my love, this man is my life.
As his wife it’s part of my job to fear for my life.
Such a small strife to please him, right?

He only does it when he’s mad
or when I look sad or he thinks i’ve been bad.
Hell, this is my kid’s dad – he’s all I have!

It’s okay that he calls me names.
It’s part of his game.
Slut, whore, stupid bitch, It’s all the same.
I know he doesn’t mean it and I know that sounds lame.

I don’t really need control of my life.
He handles everything alright.
We have a nice house and food on the table.
We want for very little and travel when we’re able.

I’m pretty sure this is how it’s suppose to be.
Man of the house, King of the castle.
Fighting the truth would only be a hassle.

I just can’t go,why can’t you see?
I could never leave.
He’d find me and hurt me.
I’m not naieve.

Love is eternal but bruises fade.
I can minimize the damage if I always obey.
If I step back I’ll be okay.
Follow everything I hear him say.
Take my life day by day,
stay by his side and lower my gaze.

In God I confide when I pray
the punches stay on the inside and
the bruises don’t ever show on my pride.
I believe in my heart that God will provide,
put the Violence aside
and give me a life where I no longer cry.

Poem by Melissa Jordan and taken from her blog, with her permission

http://melissajordan.wordpress.com/2006/02/21/domestic-violence/

 

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Have you ever?

Have you ever been in an argument and blurted something out that you really didn’t mean? It is a sign of losing control, and many a friendship and even marriages have been ruined over it.

Have you ever been in an argument, and thrown something at the other party? Or pushed, or struck out at someone? Or stopped them from leaving the room? Often that is how home crimes start. Not with a gun or a knife, but with that momentary loss of control. And that is when it is most treatable, before someone is bruised or injured. But once the arguments keep coming, the loss of control becomes more of a regular occurence, and often it begins to escalate. And becomes a habit. Then it is harder to break.

I don’t know in the following case if there had been any previous history of domestic violence. Abusers often deny it, and the wife cannot tell us.

Francis McCoy was pronounced dead at 3:26 pm on Sunday at the hospital. She died of injuries recieved when her husband allegedly struck her with a vehicle.

According to the police dept. they were in a parking lot and were arguing when Martin McCoy intentionally struck her with his car. One instant, one momentary loss of control, one weapon close at hand, and the result is a 28 year old woman is dead, her husband is in jail. And two families are grieving. Lives changed forever, because of a momentary loss of control.

 After striking her with his car, he did drive himself to the police station and turned himself in. Martin McCoy, 31 was initially charged with attempted murder, but since her death the charges will most likely be upgraded.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/runover20.html

Update

Dewayne Devine has been located and arrested in New Orleans. He is now awaiting extradition proceedings to be taken back to the county and state in which he is facing charges for the rape of a 7 year old.

http://www.wkrc.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=483ED32E-191A-4840-BDA6-3878B8948195

We tell our children to mind their elders

We tell our children to mind their elders. But sometimes we forget to tell them that sometimes they don’t have to mind.  

She was 7 years old. One of her relatives “touched” her. Then he raped her. Several times. She was told that if she ever told, her siblings would be killed. After a year, she finally told. Now she has nightmares and flashbacks. The nightmares include having a pillow put over her face. She is afraid he is going to come back and she doesn’t know when. Her name won’t be told in court, in the papers and I wouldn’t tell it, even if I knew it.

Likely her parents suffer some guilt, about how this could happen and they not have known. Likely, they are unsure of themselves now, not sure how to treat her- how to handle the “problem”. And likely they have assured her that he can never hurt her again and that he will be going to jail.

Dewayne Devine’s brother arranged bail for him. He was due in court this week. He didn’t show. He has been tracked to Vienna, West Virginia where his brother lives. Police went there, but was told at the door that it wasn’t illegal to harbor a relative. Even a detective wasn’t sure about that info. So while they were determining the truth about that (evidently it is illegal), Devine skipped again.

Devine denied the charges in court. But he also said that an old girlfriend’s daughter had once accused him of the same thing.

Police say that Devine is a danger to other children he may come into contact with. He needs to be found and brought back to face charges. He needs to be taken off the street.

Now I am sure this child is even more scared. And so are the parents. It is likely that his escape will set back her healing process. And he has to be taken off the street.

http://www.wkrc.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=8B4F9ADA-DB79-4DED-8E48-0AF89F93626C