It’s not funny, but it can be bizarre

Jody Bennett, 37, came out of a back room of her residence with a napkin held to her face. She claimed that her boyfriend Greg Hill, 45, had bitten her nose. Police and an ambulance were called… it was determined that her nose had been severed. However, they couldn’t find the nose. They think Hill swallowed it. Doctor’s were consulted and it was determined that it wouldn’t do any good to pump Hill’s stomach to try to recover the nose, as the nose is composed of cartilige and soft tissue which would be dissolved by the acid in the stomach.

Officers managed to arrest Hill, but he had to be sprayed with pepper spray in order to do so. He is now charged with aggravated assault and battery, resisting arrest and destroying evidence. He denys biting her nose. Other persons in the household deny knowing what led up to the assault.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060218/ap_on_fe_st/nose_bitten_off_2

I think it is safe to say that she probably doesn’t find any humor in this. I wonder if he does?

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Why don’t they leave?

           Pictures of Linsi, submitted by Cory                             

Many times you read the stories in the paper about women who are being abused. And you wonder, why would anyone stay in the relationship?

There are a number of reasons. Sometimes the abuser will cry and say they are sorry. They promise it will never happen again. But, if they lost control and abused once, they will likely do it again unless they get some help to find out why they lost control, correct old habits of how they handle problems, and learn new ways of dealing with problems. Sometimes the person being abused will feel guilty, they said or did something they shouldn’t have and made the other person angry, therefore it must be their fault. (See the above sentence). Maybe there are children involved, and don’t want to break up the family unit. Well, it isn’t good for the children, to remain in a household where abuse is occurring. They learn abusive, agressive behaviors or learn to choose abusive relationships for themselves. After all,in their world this is how relationships are supposed to work. They love the abuser and he/she didn’t mean to do it. Well, if the abuser loves, they will be willing to work on the relationship and get some help to change those problems. And I recomend that while they are getting help, if a couple is going to stay together- that the victim also get some help. Most family violence groups have support groups, where the victims learn about family violence, the effect it has on family and friends, and what options are available to the victim. I also recomend that the children be put into some counseling. They need to discuss what is happening in a theraputic way. They aren’t given choices in what is happening, and they may need a chance to vent. The victim may also stay out of fear of what will happen if they try to leave. That is a very valid fear. And if they have that fear, what I reccomend is to get in contact with a domestic violence shelter. Find out what options are available. Make a plan. Be firm and hold to the plan. It is scary, but so is staying in the relationship. Stay involved in the support group.

Sadly, the case I have today is about a young woman who didn’t want to stay in the relationship.

Linsi Light and Richard M. Wegmann II had been a couple. They didn’t live together, but they did live in the same building. And they broke up. Now I don’t claim to know if there had been problems with abuse in the relationship. All I really know is what I read that happened.

The couple were both 19 years old. They had been broken up for about a week. At some point, in the previous week, Linsi and he had been together and she felt nervous enough or fearful enough that she had burned Wegmann with a curling iron to get him away. She wanted the relationship to end, but Wegmann did not.

I don’t claim to know what happened when Linsi was killed by a single gunshot to the head. Much of that information won’t be available until the trial. All I know is that Wegmann was initially charged with negligent homicide. After a grand jury hearing that charge was changed to murder with a gun. Prosecutors say that change was due to some forensic information developed during the investigation. At this point it is not known what that information is.

When I read these stories, I really try to be fair. They were kids but young adults. Both were 19. Likely they hadn’t been out on their own for long. At 19 most people are still trying on different relationships, trying to find one that works for them. Sometimes they last, but many do not. Evidently Wegmann didn’t want the relationship to end.

Now Linsi is dead. Her family is going through the grieving for her loss, as well as the anger and frustration of trying to see that her murderer gets justice. And that still won’t bring her back. What happened is forever, and is a loss that will affect them the rest of their lives. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. Especially this way.

Wegmann’s family, will be worrying about their child. He is in jail. He is facing a sentence of 18 years to life in prison. While he will be alive, he won’t be there for them, he won’t be there for Christmas or Thanksgiving or any of the special times. They know he is young to be facing the hardened criminals he will face in prison. So they will worry. And grieve that the little boy they remember, could not have pulled a trigger on a gun and killed someone.

And Wegmann. He was 19, and in college. He had a future in front of him. And because of an instant when he pulled a trigger, now that is over. The woman he wanted to stay with is gone. Forever. He won’t be meeting any new women. And  his last memory of her, is with a gunshot to her head. His life will never be the same.

Yes, he is alive. And he will see his family, in limited visits in the prison. But he will have very limited contact with the outside world. Instead of classes, and tests, and dates, and all of the other things that college kids get involved in, maybe meeting someone else….his world will now be peopled with hardened criminals, a routine set up and demanded by others, memories of how she looked with the shot through her head. When he pulled that trigger, he not only lost her… he lost his chance at a good life.

http://epaper.limanews.com/Daily/skins/LIMA/navigator.asp?skin=Lima&BP=OK&AW=1140283154203

Was there anything that could have been done to change this story? I don’t know. I don’t don’t know the background, if there was any history of abuse or controlling behavior. It could be that the breakup brought out behavior and feelings that hadn’t been apparent before. But often there are signs. Anyone who is concerned about any behaviors in a relationship should seek out information from a domestic violence agency. They are a great resource.

Lost In Lima Ohio is also covering Linsi Light in her blog. You can check out her discussion here:

http://lostinlimaohio.blogspot.com/

And thanks to her for sending me the story.

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The trial begins

limanews.com

And a big thank you to Lilo for helping me find the update.

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It has been 7 long months. The trial has been held, the evidence given, the witnesses heard, and a guilty verdict determined. After the long wait, often a trial is anti-climatic. Finally the moment arrives, the sentence given, and the realization hits. There are no winners here, everyone still loses. A young woman, lost forever, buried but not forgotten. A young man now to enter another stage of his life, locked away from family and friends.

I hope that everyone has learned something from this. An appreciation of how precious life is and how serious a matter personal responsibility is. Linsi and Ricky had both just entered their adult life. Both had a lot to look forward to. It took just an instant for all that to end. It cannot be changed, so we can only hope to learn from it.

limaohio.com

Babies Cry

If you have ever been a parent of a newborn, you know they cry. Some babies cry more than others. And while they are sleeping quietly, they can inspire a feeling like awe, that you produced something so perfect mixed with love, tenderness, and protective feelings.

But when they cry for long periods in the middle of the night, the feelings run more to frustration, depression, helplessness, exaustion, and sometimes I guess even anger.

Now I had a baby, he went from being a premie with frequent feedings, to colic, to teething, to ear infections. I swear, if he was awake in that first year, he was crying. And at times, I just had to lay him down and walk away for a few minutes. I didn’t experience the anger- but lots of frustration, depression, exhaustion and helplessness. I survived, and so did he. But that first year was tough.

So in some ways, I guess I can empathize with Amber Mae Salvatori, 26. To a point.

On Jan. 4, Michael Goodrich, the child’s father called authorities for his child who was not breathing.

The inital story was that they had had a casual evening, and went to bed about 11 pm. He got up around 11 am, and went to the store. Upon his return, his wife was calling to him, and crying and told him the 10 week old baby wasn’t breathing.

At a later interview, Salvatori admitted that the baby was fussing around midnight and she gave him his “nuke”. The baby woke again at around 2 am and she couldn’t get him to go back to sleep. She then told that she put him back in his crib face down, and pressed on the back of his head. He quit crying and moving around, and she went back to bed and slept till noon the next day. When the baby hadn’t woken up at 2 pm, she went to check on him and found him not breathing.

http://www.thedailyreview.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16134869&BRD=2276&PAG=461&dept_id=465049&rfi=6

Now if she had called a more experienced parent they may have been able to give her some tips to try and would have had her check the baby for illness. She could have called a hospital. Had she woken the father, she may have been able to get him to relieve her for a bit. And if nothing else worked, she could have walked away for a bit, until she calmed down, then tried again. And as hard as it is, sometimes you just have to wait it out.

Now she will be facing a trial and prison in the death of her baby. As a young couple, they have lost their child. And the world will never know what they lost, because this little man wasn’t given a chance to grow up.