It doesn’t just happen in poor homes

This is the type of story that wouldn’t even have made the news, except for who is involved. I am sure that many of you have read about Damion A. McIntosh, the Miami Dolphins offensive lineman. Allegedly, he and his wife were arguing and he reached out and pushed her to the floor. She evidently hit her head pretty hard and was still unresponsive when officers arrived. McIntosh was arrested and charged with domestic violence.

I am not upset because media wrote about this story. I am upset because it happens almost every day in every town, and doesn’t get written about. Many crimes that happen in the home, are not considered “news”. There seems to be an attitude that that is the family’s business. And the family’s problem. So unless a murder occurs, it won’t even cause a blip on the news media. However, if you think about it…… children who live in that home and grow up with thinking that is the norm…… what will be their attitude when they go out into the world? How many work days are lost by abuse victims? How many families are in turmoil, because of the abuse they are aware of within their extended family? How many hospital and medical visits re made due to domestic violence? This is not a family’s problem, it is society’s problem.

Unless they work with domestic violence victims, most people would be shocked at how many people have been involved in domestic violence “incidents” and who they are. After all, they aren’t in the news. And many times, they aren’t even called into police.

Ok, off my soapbox about the media. Every person has the right and the need to feel safe in their own home. They have the right not to be subjected to physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. It changes the dynamics in  the way the family relationship works. Instead of family members cooperating with each other out of love, concern, or just to get along……. they learn to cooperate out of fear of another violent incident. Instead of families working together to get ahead in the world and raise their family, the focus changes to keeping one member from getting angry. Often the children will act out more, or be too shy or fearful of the world. Often they will have trust and committment problems. And often they grow up to have anger problems. Many times the boys will grow up to become abusers themselves and the girls will grow up to marry abusive men. Because this is what they have learned is the norm in their life.

Until society begins to realize the magnitude of the problem and focuses on dealing with it, it will continue to be a problem and will continue to affect the rest of society in negative ways.

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