Who’s in control?

Delores Jones, 47, was talking on the phone to a neighbor, and her live in boyfriend Anton Cochran, 44 overheard her discussion. He evidently become angry, and yelled at her not to be telling everybody her business.

About 2 am the next day, her adult son came home and found her dead. About 9 hours later Cochran turned himself into police and made a confession.

He had begun beating her about 2 am and was beating her with a metal bar. He stated he lost control and could not stop himself from hitting her. He also took a knife and slashed her throat, and stabbed her in the heart.

My sympathies to the son, as it is hard enough to deal with the loss of a parent. But to be the one to find her brutally murdered, is a horror that is just unimaginable. He will likely be dealing with that memory of his mother for a long time to come.

And I wonder about how Cochran feels now. Now everyone knows his business. Everyone knows about his loss of control. Everyone knows he brutally beat and murdered the woman he chose to cohabit with. And everyone knows that he chose Valentine’s Day to do that on. And now, he doesn’t have any control. His life will be proscribed for him. He will be told when to get up, when to be “lights out”, when he can eat, and how to act. His temporary “loss of control” resulted in the death of a woman he lived with. A son lost his mother. And his loss of control will be complete.

I wonder what part of this will make the most impression on him?




Mixed feelings

She was beaten with an aluminum bat, she was strangled, and he reminded her numerous times that he could kill her. This is not just her version, her children have also testified to this.  

I don’t know how long Rebecca Ramm lived with her husband David Ramm, but she says now that she wished she had left him when the abuse first began. Instead she stayed…..and one  night while he was sleeping, she shot him.

Now she has spent a year in jail, and was sentenced to 8 years in prison (time served, she will spend 7 years in prison). And she will be on supervision for 22 years.

I am against murder for anything except in self defense, and defense of another. At the same time, I can understand that when abuse gets this bad, that revenge may take over.

Still, look what her choice got her. She had the option of leaving him, seeking out safety, and she didn’t. Instead she stayed, she was beaten, till she got to the point where she committed murder. Now she will spend the next 7 years in prison, and when she comes out with a record she will still have to have monitoring.

A very sad story, and well worth pondering what her life might have been like, if she had sought out safety, she wouldn’t have had to suffer the beatings, and she wouldn’t be headed to prison now. And likely her children would have had a much easier life, since they wouldn’t have had to be worry so much about their mother’s safety.