What about boyfriend’s

Again, we come back to the fact that a child relies on their parents for food, clothing, shelter, boundaries, discipline and protection.

Now I am not going to sit here and say that a single parent isn’t entitled to have adult friends or boyfriend’s. But I will say that the primary thing in the relationships has to be the children. I know of a lot of single parents who have had boyfriend’s or spouses who weren’t parents to the children in the household. Those persons just seem to fit right in, becoming a co parent or sometimes even the primary caregiver, and do it successfully.

But, then there is the exception. Glenn A. Hudson, 29, had a girlfriend he lived with, Kivva Greenlee. And Kivva had a two year daughter named  Aramah Greenlee. Hudson was babysitting Aramah, when he became angry at her. He allegedly threw her into her bed, causing multiple blunt force trauma, severe enough to result in her death. He  pleaded guilty to wanton murder in her death. Defense attorneys are trying to keep the evidence that Aramah had been recently sexually assaulted prior to her death from being included in the sentencing part of the trial. They say it could be prejudicial against their client, and that he hasn’t been charged with any sexual crime.

It appears that days before her death, Aramah’s mother took her to the hospital for a stomach ache and blood in her diaper. At her autopsy, there was evidence of a sexual assault and a specialist states that the injury appeared to be “fresh” and had occurred before her death. Now I don’t know why this guy was not charged with a sex crime. There could be a number of reasons for that. It could be that there wasn’t enough evidence to conclusively prove that Hudson committed the crime, it could be something to do with the plea bargain. All I know is the guy will likely recieve 20 years to life, and eligible for parole in 20 years. So at about the age of 49, this guy will be released from prison, and won’t be viewed as a sex offender, because he was never charged with a sex related crime.

But enough about him. My goal here is to add emphasis to the fact that when you bring anyone into the child’s life- whether it be a new sitter, a new friend, or a new boyfriend- you have to be alert to the child’s reactions to that person. Children often cannot tell. They may not have the words,  they may be threatened, or they may not realize the import of another’s actions. A parent should be alert to  signs of distress in their children, and be vigilant in searching out the reason why. No matter how nice the new person seems to be, no matter how appealing, or how good a provider- they aren’t worth what this mother is going through.




  1. piper said,

    February 16, 2006 at 7:52 pm

    grrrr-I am so sick and tired of ‘mothers’ allowing the ‘man’ in thier life (usually an unemployed, drug user, with a criminal record) baby-sit/care for thier children. Every single day in the news is a new case of a child being abused or murdered by either thier parent or someone in a relationship with thier parent. Its high time we cracked down on these creeps. The laws need to be harsher, death to anyone who abuses, sexually assaults, murders a child! The same goes for the idiot parent who allowed it to happen. No mercy.
    What prison is Hudson going to? I’d be happy to inform his peers at his new prison what kind of an individual he REALLY is….

  2. February 17, 2006 at 5:32 am

    Hi Piper, thanks for stopping by to visit.
    I wish it was as simple as being boyfriends. Unfortunately, it isn’t.
    It is sometimes the fathers, the steparents, the mothers, and the grandparents or some other family member.
    The main thing is, parents have to put the kids first. And no matter who the kids are with, the parents have to be alert to the dangers their children can face from others. They have to watch the kids and be alert for questionable behavior in the kids. Do they shy away from one person, cry when they are left with that person, have unexplained bruising or bruising that doesn’t fit the story given to them. Abused kids often begin to “act out” when they are abused. They may regress in behavior, bedwetting can also be a sign. There is a link that discusses the signs and symptoms of child abuse on the main page.
    Parents that are alert and pick up on these problems need to give a critical look at who is spending time with the kids and how they are being treated. Hopefully, they can put a stop to a problem and keep the child from anyone who may harm them, before anything serious occurs.

  3. Shantoya said,

    April 28, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    YO, this was my niece and kivva never intended on letting this man into her house plus he wasn’t a bad looking guy, no one ever expected such things to take place, by you really not knowing anything about this and the things you have stated make me mad because why would you say the parent should be put up on trial, kivva is a God fearing women and it even says that she let the world take the place were God was trying to bless her at so… you know what go on with that bull shit!!!

  4. Mad as Hell said,

    January 9, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    You know you sound really stupid and as for the person who wrote the article make sure you gather all the facts before you write a story that you half ass know about. I dont know where your sources came from but it would have been smart to start with reliable information. Newspapers dont always tell the whole story and are very assumptive, and I am not saying you did not have any valid points but it just seems like to me you would have done more research than what you did. Now back to the person that is sooooo sick and tired of mothers allowing drug dealers, etc in their lives, you dont even know the half of it. Sometimes people hide who they really are, I am sure you will agree, and as much as I cant stand a person who hurts children or anyone else for that matter I suggest that you keep your comments to yourself before you past judgement on something that you hardly know about. People like you make me soooooo sick, but I will agree with you on the fact that the laws need to change, but please talk only about things you know. You dont know Kivva and you sure dont know how the hell she feels.

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