If you want it, there is hope

When I started this blog, I had a couple of objectives in mind. I wanted to spotlight the problem of crimes being committed in the home. I wanted to remind people, they do not just occur in other people’s homes, it can occur in homes like ours. It may not happen in every home, but it can happen in any home. I also wanted to let people know that there is help out there for them, and that they aren’t alone. It happens to other people also.

I am not here to judge. There is help out there for both victims and abusers. You will have to search out what is available in your area, but at some point I will be posting some more suggestions for victims, abusers, and friends and families. In other words, if it hasn’t hit the court system yet, then there are things that can be done to help alleviate the problems so that maybe it can be stopped before it hits the court system. The one thing I can offer, is that if sincere efforts are not made to correct the crimes in the homes, it is very likely that someday it will hit the court system. And that likely that will be because of a serious injury or death occurred. And then I may be spotlighting your story.

Crimes in the home do not go away by themselves. If it happened once, it will likely happen again. And in so many cases, it escalates. It may not happen every day. There may be months or sometimes even years between “incidents”. But it will happen again. Maybe it will be because the victim did something “bad”. Or maybe not. And if it happened to the spouse, likely someday the kids will be abused also. Because domestic assault isn’t about what the other person has done. Nor is it about who they are, or what they did. It is about anger and controlling the other person. And when the kids don’t obey, they become targets also. And let’s face it, it is in the nature of kids that they will explore their boundaries and test them periodically. They will disobey.

I found an interesting article on the Entwistle murder. Mary Gianakis, director of Voices Against Violence in Framingham talks about how the murders of Rachel and Lillian is calling attention to the fact that domestic violence can occur in any home. She talks about how their are shelters, support groups, and legal advocacy available for the victims. She doesn’t mention that there is help out there for the abusers also. But first, you have to admit there is a problem. Then you have to seek out help. Then you have to make a sincere and concentrated effort to work on the problem. Not sometime, not half hearted, but a sincere, concentrated effort by all parties, all the time. It isn’t easy, but it can be done. And if the persons involved mean that much to you, then isn’t it worth it?

I am not good with statistics, but I want to  quote this section of the article:

But, “it’s far too soon to declare victory,” she said. “The statistic has held true for many years that one out of three (murdered) women are killed by a former or current partner or spouse.”

 Between 1981 and 1998, there were 45,513 intimate partner homicides in the country, 64 percent of which were committed against females.


Please note: the above statistics do not include other crimes committed in the home, including the crimes committed against the children.

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