The worst thing that can happen

Daniel Porter, 42 has been found guilty of kidnapping. For two years he has refused to tell where his children are. Instead he has told stories that ranged from he killed them, he sold them and that they are now part of a pornography ring. But where they are, he won’t say.

Sam and Lindsey Porter have not been seen since June 2004, when Porter picked them up from his ex-wife, Tina Porter. They were 7 and 8 years old.

The prosecution has alleged that he did this to get back at his ex-wife. The defense attorneys say it is because he was abused as a child and that his actions were aimed at protecting his children.  “There is no way that my children are going to grow up like I did,” Burdick quoted Porter as saying.

Sadly, this reminds me of the Gehring children. If you remember they were last seen when their father picked
them up in 2003. Their father was later arrested for the kidnapping, and committed suicide in jail, before he went to trial and before telling where the children were buried.

Their remains were found in Dec. 2005 in an unmarked grave in Ohio. I am going to quote their Mother Terri Knight, from an article at that time, as I could not say it any better:
”There are people who don’t ever find their children and it’s horrible,” she said. ”No kid deserves not to have a proper burial and resting place.”

Now I have no way of knowing if this is what happened to Sam and Lindsey. But, I cannot trust that they are ok, when in one breath their father seems to be saying that he did this to protect them, and in another breath he is saying that he sold them to a pornography ring.
I come nearer to believing the Prosecutor, who says that he did this to spite his wife.

I know very few parents, who when their child was first placed in their arms, didn’t promise their child that they would love and protect them.
And I guess I really have difficulty understanding how that could go so wrong. That a father could become so wrapped up in a fight with the mother, that he would forget those children that he professed to love.

Are they out there somewhere, in a home with someone that Daniel Porter placed them with? Are they resting somewhere in an unmarked grave? Or did he really sell them to a pedofile? Sadly, Tina Porter may never know.

There is a private club out there that no one wants to join. Parents of missing children. Their lives as a parent of those children, just stops.
There is no funeral, no grave, no marker that it has ended. It just stops. They have nowhere to go to mourn their child or try to commune with them.
They hope in a part of them that they are alive somewhere, and that someone is caring for them. Their worst fear is not that they are dead. Though that is a thought they may not wish to think. Their worst thought is that they may be with someone who will not care for them, or may hurt them. Those thoughts they will carry for the rest of their life.


He’s a husband and father to be

He is barely old enough to get into the hospital maternity ward. Visiting age there can range from 14 to 16 years old. He isn’t old enough to have a driver’s license or in most cases even a work permit.  But he is the father of the child to be born. And he is the husband of the 37 year old mother to be Lisa Lynnette Clark.

It is cases like this that put the old double standard to the test. Yeah, you know the one. Girls are supposed to be pure and virginal and boys are supposed to try to get “lucky”. Remember Mrs. Robinson?

He is identified only as “A.S.G.” in the court cases. That is because he is a minor, but also because this is about a sex abuse case. A.S.G. lived with his grandmother, and found a friendship with Clark. Then grandmother finds a love letter which led her to believe that there was more than “friendship” involved. So she makes a report to police. Clark is arrested for molestation of a minor. And she turns up pregnant. So they run away and get married, which results in A.S.G. being arrested for a probation violation and he is sent to a juvenile facility. He runs away and finally gets found. You guessed it, they tracked a cell phone and money he had recieved to Clark, and used that to search her home. He was there.

Now let’s look at this a minute. Studies show that boys and girls mature at different rates, with the boys being slightly slower than girls. He would most likely be in junior high school, where most of his friends are chasing girls, talking about getting their drivers license, maybe owning a car, and dreaming of what they will be when they “grow up”. He most likely hasn’t held a job, never changed a diaper, and to him- probably the only connection he knows about marriage is that it involves sex. He hasn’t gone to prom, graduation, he hasn’t made a decision about going to college, owned a car or dated much.

Clark has been an adult for several years, most likely has worked, possibly been married, and is likely to be at that age that she is dreading the big 4-0 that is fast approaching. She has likely done the graduation thing, the prom thing, the dating thing, the job thing.

Now these two hook up. And she (being the adult in the relationship, I hold her most responsible) permits a sexual relationship. As a result, she is going to court for sexual molestation, she is bringing a child into the world that she will not be in a position to care for, she illegally takes the boy across state lines and marries him (possibly to circumvent the molestation charge?). By doing so, she gets him in trouble with the law. And to top it off, she makes arrangements to help him get out of a juvenile facility, which breaks more laws and includes additional charges against him. A very concerned and loving wife (not).

Now I am sure they are going to tell you they are in love. Ok. Most states have laws which allow for an age of consent for a minor. She couldn’t wait?

She was pregnant, she “had” to get married. Well see the previous paragraph. Anyway, in this day and age, marriage because of pregnancy is outmoded. And in 3 years, he would be old enough (at least legally) to sign his own marraige certificate. What was the hurry?

Now, when the boys in his class are getting their driver’s license- he will be changing diapers, because she will likely be in prison. When other boys in his class are saving for a car, hopefully he will be buying diapers and formula. When other kids are finding dates, he will be looking for a sitter. When they are preparing for graduation, maybe looking forward to college- he will be looking for a job. That’s asking a lot of a 15 year old.

And there is also the baby to consider. Mom knew what she was doing was illegal. She knew and took the risk of going to prison. Now the baby is left to grow up with a kid who is too young to be a parent. Yes, with help he may be able to do it. But it will be a struggle for both him and the baby. The baby’s bonding time with the mother will likely be limited to brief prison visits if that much. And it will grow up knowing that Mom is in that big building and unable to be of any help when it needs a mother. And someday, the baby will come face to face with the bad decisions that the mother made. When that time comes, I wonder how the baby will view it?