She has been found

Sue Ann Ray has been found. Her remains were found, in a shallow grave. About an hour after her remains were found, her estranged husband Quinton Ray, 27, was arrested.

Sue Ann was last seen in Aug. of 2005 when she took her vehicle to her estranged husband for repair. Since that time her family has been searching for her. At the time she went missing, she and the estranged husband were in a custody battle for custody of their  6-year-old daughter, Charity Ray.

At 6, their daughter probably has some idea about the concept of death. She may not understand just how final it is, but she has likely heard a little about it. Now for 6 months, she has not known where her mother was or that she died, just that her mother was gone. I feel certain she felt the loss, even without knowing how final it was. Now she has to come to some understanding that her mother is gone. And it is final. And that her mother is dead, at her father’s hands. And that her father is being taken from her also. She is 6. She didn’t ask for her parents to fight over her. She most likely loved both of her parents. She needed both of her parents in her life. Instead she will grow up without parents. With the knowlege that the Daddy she loved, cruelly murdered the Mother she loved. And that he left her not knowing what had happened for 6 months. Think of how betrayed she must feel.

For her family, they were sure that she would not run away and abandon her daughter. For 6 months, they were left mourning, with no funeral  to attend, no grave to mourn over, no formal way to acknowlege her death. And so many questions.

Sue Ann will be formally buried now. Hopefully, the family will get many of their questions answered. But still, they and Charity will be dealing with this for the rest of her life. Her mother won’t be there when she gets ready for her first date, her Dad won’t be there when she learns to drive. Mom won’t help her pick out her prom dress. When she graduates and marries, I am sure she will miss her parents not being able to attend. She won’t be able to share her children with her Mother, comparing their little noses and mouths with the features of other members of the family. She won’t be able to share all the new things, the little funny things they do. She may see her Dad at times. But he won’t be there for her. Others will probably step in to care for and love her. But no one will really fill that hole in her life.  

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2 Comments

  1. thpunishrr said,

    February 9, 2006 at 12:06 pm

    It is always the children that seem to pay the the highest price. It upsets me so much when a child has to pay because of the actions of adults. I love kids. I feel guilty and quickly apologize when I’m out of line with my kids. How can anyone directly or indirectly live with themselves when they so dramaticaly effect an innocent life. Crimes against children are the most heinous. For a “father” to take away a childs mother like this is not only murder but also a serious crime against the child.

  2. February 9, 2006 at 2:39 pm

    I agree, Punish. During an argument, it is human nature to close down and focus only on the person we are arguing with. But parents have to learn, the child’s well being comes first at all times. Not just their immediate future, but also their long term future.


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