Learning to be married

Every young newly married couple goes through a process of learning to be married. By this I mean they work out compromise's of each of the partner's expectations of how they think the other person will act in the marriage. That can range from division of household responsibilities, to how each will behave in the marriage.

Many a young couple has had disagreements over whose job it is to take out the garbage, or do the dishes. Whose job it is to pick up after who, and how much flirting is ok at a party. Usually with time, those things will get worked out.

But now and then you get one part of a couple who feels that his/her way is the only acceptable way to be. Even those will eventually get worked out, with one partner finally accepting the terms or leaving.

But then there is always the extreme. In this couple, we see that the hubby Travis Frey, 33, has certain expectations. And he evidently felt strongly enough about them that he put them down in writing. It is alleged that he felt strongly enough about them, that on three occasions he tied his wife to the bed and sexually assaulted her. He allegedly wrote up a "Contract of Wifely Expectations" for his wife . In it he spelled out what he expected of his wife. Among the requirements were that she would shave every third day, and that she would be naked within 20 minutes of the children being in bed. Mrs. Frey may not have accepted the terms of the "contract". She didn't sign it.  Now I am sure that Mr. Frey felt he was being generous. He allowed certain points for what he termed GBD's "Good Behavior Days". She also got points for certain sex acts. The article doesn't spell out the rewards she could earn. Also, there is no indications of any contract for "Husband's Expectations". I would have liked to have written one up for him.

Oh and by the way, this "gem" of a husband besides being charged with 1st degree kidnapping and domestic assault resulting in harm to his wife, is also charged with downloading child porn on his computer.

When a person in working out those usual conflicts in a marraige feels that force is required to make sure that his/her way is the only way, that is a criminal act. If you can't work it out through compromise or discussion, then maybe this isn't the marriage for you.

And as usual my thoughts go to the children in the household. Not only would they have picked up on the conflicts in the household. But if Mr. Frey was downloading child porn, my question would be, how has he been with the children, and were they a present or future target?

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/family/6812175/detail.html

If you wish to see a copy of the "contract" The Smoking Gun has it online:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

Let me tell you folks, it is a doozy.  

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His planned defense? His wife threatened him. I thought this one was going to be interesting.

http://www.ketv.com/newsarchive/8322831/detail.html

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When Travis Frey went to court on the twelve charges of sexual exploitation of a minor, additional charges of sexual exploitation were levied against him bringing the total to 40 counts. Frey pled not guilty. Trial for the sexual exploitation is scheduled for May 31.

Aggravated sexual exploitation is a misdemeanor, and the maximum penalty is two years for each count. Frey is also facing the possibility of 11 years for the conviction of sexual and domestic abuse against his wife.

 http://www.southwestiowanews.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16446333&BRD=2703&PAG=461&dept_id=555106&rfi=6

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