“I have no doubt that we are meant to be together forever, you are everything to me and without you I would be lost in this crazy world.”
“He needs someone who’s faithful, only his lips may she kiss.” A stanza of a poem
Both messages were found on the MySpace page of Bekime “Becky” Elshani and believed to have been written to her by Daniel Dereere.
Something was worrying the parents of 22 year old Bekime “Becky” Elshani, so on Monday they called police. A part of their concern may have been the history.
Becky lived with 25 year old Daniel Dereere (I have also seen it spelled Dereer, I’m not sure which is correct.) And as it is sometimes put “there was a history.” Last May the two had an altercation, possibly over telephone calls that Becky Elshani had received from her ex-husband. And according to reports, Becky Elshani struck Dereere in the face. Later in Oct. there are reports that Dereere and Becky were at a party and Becky felt that Dereere was too intoxicated to drive. She attempted to get his keys from him, but when she did he tased her. She reported to police it was about 20 times. Both incidents were charged, both went to court and both were dismissed.
Some reports indicate that Becky Elshani may have been seeing her ex-husband late last year. And that Dereere was upset over that. So the way he expressed himself was to reportedly hack into her MySpace page and post nude pictures of her online. She filed charges on that and it was due to go to court last week. But the two reconciled.
Her father says that he didn’t see the anger in Dereere. So it may have been the information that a friend has alleged that Dereere had also threatened Becky and said that if he couldn’t have her, no one could. That he would kill her, then himself.
The couple were at her parents home on Saturday and Becky stepped outside the home. She may have stepped outside to meet with her ex-husband or Dereere may have thought she was meeting him. The two argued that night. That is the last night that Becky was seen.
Her parents called police and asked them to check on Becky on Monday. And police went to the home. They report that as they arrived they heard a popping sound. They made entry into the home and found Daniel Dereere dead from an apparent suicide. Police report there was no sign of Becky in the home, there was no sign of a struggle and Dereere did not leave a suicide note.
But when police checked Dereere’s vehicle they say they found blood, tests are being run to determine if it was Becky Elshani’s blood. Police believe that it may be a sign of foul play.
Bekime “Becky” Elshani was last seen last Saturday. She is described as 5′5″ and 110 lbs, white female. Police have been conducting aerial searches of areas that Dereere was known to frequent for camping and family and friends have been conducting ground searches.
Police say the ex-husband is not a suspect in Becky’s disappearance.
Police are asking that if anyone saw Becky Elshani or Daniel Dereere that weekend they would like them to make contact with police.
fox21news.com koaa.com krdo.com
krdo.com krdo.com gazette.com gazette.com
The words are romantic, the sentiment sweet. But even back when this was written there are hints of what was to come.
“We are meant to be together forever” leaves me to question what happens if one decides to leave? What does forever mean to him and what if forever doesn’t last?
“You are everything to me” Everyone has other things in their lives, if that person is focusing to the extent that they believe you are all- what happens if you change your mind?
“Only his lips may she kiss” to me the line just oozes possessiveness.
Yes, receiving those messages would have been flattering at first. But when you really think about such messages they seem more ominous. Sweet sentiments are easy to say and even can be easy to write. But you also have to look at the actions behind the words.
Talking to her ex-husband caused an argument that became violent. Yet she cared enough about Dereere to try to stop him from driving drunk. And for that, she got tased.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Searches are still being conducted for Becky Elshani. Premier Helicopter company has volunteered a helicopter and pilot to the search and newschannel 13 is also volunteering. More ground searchers are needed.
Trey said,
April 7, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Getting tased for trying to save your hubby’s life, I call that a clue. A warning sign, a red flag, a hint, a taste of things to come.
Why has our culture become so accustomed to the violence that preceedes violent and deadly assault? Why do people put up with this type of acting out?
Trey
jolynna said,
April 16, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I just googled and they still haven’t found her.
Unfortunately, women often grow up reading the kind of romance novels and soaps that make words like Dereere’s seem romantic, not dangerous. I even think there is a high associated with the intensity of being with that kind of man as opposed to more stable guys.
I lived past my days of being attracted to the “Heathcliff” types.
Trey said,
April 16, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Jolynna, that is an interesting comment. I think we can become imprinted on an ambivelent other, and spend our life trying to be good enough to win them over. And when they do pay attention to and accept us, it is indeed a high. A very different feeling from steady, dependable love! Maybe in the same way that my commute to work is very different from the high of a roller coaster.
Sadly, relationships with some people is much closer to a runaway train than a roller coaster, though they feel the same till the crash.
In the same way, we can become imprinted on an other who resents and mistreats us. We can spend our lives looking for that familiarity too. If it goes really deep, we can seek to provoke it. Not that ANYTHING justifies abuse or murder, but it can feel intense and recognizable and the best we know.
If we are stuck on winning someone over, we cannot appreciate the person who is always there. They are well and solidly won, and the emotional payoff is more subtle and longer lasting than the intensity and brief spark of winning over the unavailable other.
Trey
Tara said,
April 17, 2008 at 12:10 am
I think that even if Dan does end up being guilty…you should all be a little more considerate to his friends and family. He hasn’t been proven guilty- so this may possibly be the last little time he has with a decent name. He is somebody’s son…people out there love him, and your cruel comments could leave some grieving family member or friend to also make bad decisions out of grief and pain. Let them grieve, keep your opinion-soaked comments to yourself. Your hurting other people. What if he was your son? Do any of you even have kids? I would think not, and if so- out yourself in his mother’s shoes. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Trey said,
April 17, 2008 at 1:28 am
Tara wrote: “He hasn’t been proven guilty- so this may possibly be the last little time he has with a decent name.”
Tara, I am not familiar with the case, but if his good name is on its last legs because he murdered someone, I say good riddence to his good name! And what about the time he has enjoyed a “good name” after he killed someone? Seems like he owes some bad name time to make up for it.
“your cruel comments could leave some grieving family member or friend to also make bad decisions out of grief and pain.” That is an attempt to Rescue by making the grieving family members helpless victims who were forced to make bad decisions. We are all responsible adults, and nothing that someone else says can make us otherwise.
Besides, nobody posted anything cruel at all. What was posted were facts about the case and thoughts about the implications of the report. Nobody wrote “Dan is a murdering psychopath” or “Too bad he killed himself so he could not get the electric chair.” Those would be mean posts, but nobody made them.
“Do any of you even have kids? I would think not, and if so- out yourself in his mother’s shoes. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”
I bet some of the people who have posted have kids. Maybe even some of the people who posted had their kids murdered. Not me, I have 4 kids, but none murdered. Telling other people to be ashamed is called shaming. What do you think I have to be ashamed about?
It is interesting, but none of the comments say anything critical about him. Mine never even mentioned him by name! That is very interesting to me, that you come to Rescue someone who was not criticized. What is the point you are trying to make?
Trey
Tara said,
April 17, 2008 at 11:50 pm
The basis for my reaction: Dan’s mother is my next door neighbor… and Dan was my boyfriend my freshman year in high school. I’ve watched her break down in tears- recalling happier memories from years before. Dan was a bright, talented young man. Insecure- yes, but he had a lot going for him. The way that you talk about him tasing her- the police believed that she stretched what really happened. AND- if you did know the case, you’d know that the couple had a history of hurting each other- and getting the authorities involved. This may have been a long time coming- but either way, it wasn’t just him. Unfortunately- he may have taken it too far. (if indeed, he is guilty.) It just seemed to me that your comments left no hope that maybe he could be innocent, and I’d hate for a family member to read something like that. Dan may have been in the wrong- but that’s not his family’s fault. They don’t need more reasons to hurt.
homesweethome said,
April 18, 2008 at 6:33 am
Thank you Tara. Now we have listened to you and it is my turn.
“comments could leave some grieving family member or friend to also make bad decisions out of grief and pain.”
Sounds somewhat like a threat. Threats, even on the internet is illegal and will not be tolerated here.
You are wrong in that I did give consideration that his parents are grieving. Yes, I can understand that. And yes, my words can cause additional pain. However, from what I understand their loss was at their son’s choosing. And they were able to have the formalities and honor him in their own ways.
But there is another family who is torn between grief and yet wishing they had hope. Fearing they don’t. This other family is searching for their loved one. And they don’t believe that her disappearance was voluntary. They fear the worst, yet they have been denied the formalities to honor their loved one.
Yes, his family probably wishes this would just go away and everyone would forget about it so they can mourn in peace. But as long as Becky is missing, many will be talking about it and many will be searching for her. It won’t go away until she is found. And when she is found, whether it be this week or 5 years from now, it will still be coming up.
Trey said,
April 18, 2008 at 2:54 pm
“The way that you talk about him tasing her”
But I never talked about Dan tasing anyone. Please read my comment again, carefully this time. I wrote that being tased by your partner, in general, is a sign and a warning to get out of the relationship. I stand by that statement. It was a general statement and did not refer to Dan but to anyone who tases their spouse. Do you think that tasing your spouse or “loved one” is a sign of a good relationship?
“It just seemed to me that your comments left no hope that maybe he could be innocent,”
There is no hope that he may be innocent in my comments because I never addressed him by name. I am not familiar with the case, so I did not comment upon it. I did comment upon the behaviors described, but not the people that were alleged to have done it. If you re-read what I wrote, you will see that.
“I’d hate for a family member to read something like that. Dan may have been in the wrong- but that’s not his family’s fault. They don’t need more reasons to hurt.”
“Unfortunately- he may have taken it too far.”
See, I think that tasing took it too far. I think that cussing your partner takes it too far. My wife and I have a rule, nobody cusses the other. If your report is accurate, they both took it too far by hitting and cussing each other. It went way too far before anyone got hurt.
I would be ashamed and appologize if I wrote anything hateful about Dan, or anyone else for that matter. But I did not. We do agree that whatever Dan did wrong, it was his responsibility, not his family’s. And we agree that they do not need any more reasons to hurt, that is why I did not give them any.
Trey
hisfamily said,
April 22, 2008 at 5:50 am
Happy Birthday Danny! I Love You
Theresa said,
April 23, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Hello,
I am the mother of Danny and I have that Poem and it is not written in Danny’s handwriting. It’s amazing how many people seem to have the answer to this tragedy. I am Danny’s mother and I know alot more about him (I hope) than the rest of you. NONE of my family members have made threats!!!!!!! My son was to be 25 years old on Friday. He was an adult. I am sure there are many things that transpired between Becky and Danny, good and bad. Please let my son rest. We pray and hope that Becky will be found soon, hopefully alive. Danny was a good, soft hearted, loving kind soul. I don’t understand why all this had to come about. I loved and will always love my son, I’m his mother, my son committed suicide and of course we know the rest of the implications. I pray that he didn’t do anything. Being his mom I can’t believe that he would. He is gone now and put your energy where it is needed! God Bless, Theresa P.S. If anyone has questions and I have an answer please feel free to ask. Like I said before this is a horrible thing for all parties involved. I also know a different side to the taser.
homesweethome said,
April 23, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Theresa, my sympathies on the loss of your son. It is always difficult when a family member chooses to end their own life when you know how much they were loved and how much living was available to them.
The reference to a threat was to a specific poster and was not directed to your family. I am sorry if it appeared like it was.
hisfamily said,
April 24, 2008 at 6:00 am
hi auntie its heather, i just wanted u to know i love you!! and i pray for all this everyday.. i will call you soon.
Theresa said,
April 24, 2008 at 10:45 am
Gppd Morning,
Hi Heather. Since, I am not savy to the computer, I was never added to Danny’s friend list because I wasn’t signed up on Myspace.com at that time. I retract what I said about the poem, my daughter showed me the poems that Danny had written to Becky. My mistake………..Trey you talked about Danny’s good name, until something like this happens in your life or someone close to you, you could never understand, as I never understood before. As far as I’m concerned my son will ALWAYS have a good name in my heart. There are soooooo many things that go along with this case that we may never know about. It breaks my heart everyday, Just like the Elshani’s, not knowing, no closure. Yes, I have my son, but there are soooooooooo many unanswered questions. Will we ever know the truth?????????????????????? I hope that people will focus on looking for Becky. As children grow up they keep so much from their parents, as they should. They are building there own life and as parents you can only hope and pray that they will make the right decisions. No one in their right mind commits suicide. They feel hopeless, helpless and feel that they are of no good to this world and that there is no way out. I wished my son wouldv’e called me. Where their drugs involved? Becky or Danny? All these questions can drive a person in sane, so I try (doesn’t always work) to focus on the good things that my son did and there where many. I talked to Becky a couple of times over the years and she seemed like a real sweety. I knew they had theyr’e problems, but who doesn’t? There is nothing good that has come out of this! I am ever so thankful for the love of my family and friends that have helped me and supported me in my times of grief. God is the only one that knows and I believe he has forgiven Danny and that Danny is up in heaven snowboarding. God Bless You All, Theresa
homesweethome said,
April 24, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Theresa, there is never anything good that comes out of things like this. You are his mother and you loved him and that is as it should be. When he was young and did something that had to be corrected, you corrected him- but still loved him. He was adult now and you are right, adult children don’t often call their parents to talk about the advisability for their decisions. But you still have the right to love them. And I am sure that in his life he has done things that made you proud. That is ok too, he was your son. By his age, I would guess you have many beautiful memories of him. Cling to those memories.
hisfamily said,
April 24, 2008 at 7:52 pm
i just miss my cousin and hate hate hate not having any answers… it all seems so unfair.
Trey said,
April 24, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Theresa, I did not intend to hurt your feelings or cause you pain and I regret doing so. I will not comment on this matter further out of respect for your love for your son. Thank you for sharing your feelings about what I said, I appologize and will not repeat that mistake.
God bless and keep you.
Trey
Theresa said,
April 25, 2008 at 1:02 am
Dear Trey,
You really seem like a nice young man. I am happy that you and your wife have good morals. I am not angry. This is America, you have a right to voice your opinion as do I. Apology accepted…God Bless, Theresa
the sister said,
April 25, 2008 at 1:48 am
I don’t believe any of this, she was a fighter, if Daniel did something terrible to her I believe she put up a very good fight. I was the last one to see her, I picked her up from the tasing incident and he realy hurt her that time. And the ex husband called the cops first,cause he was worried about Becky, I was there with my fiance we showed the cops where Becky and Daniel lived and I heard the gunshot, it sounded muffled, and the cops ran up, and I immediatly knew something wasn’t right. noone has the right to take anyones life, and there is an investigation with a few things right now that do not match. Daniel sent a letter to his brother ( POSTMARKED ON SUNDAY!) and said he can have all his belonings, and the brother has been transferring thousands of dollars into his own account and other interesting things …seems as though someone knows something and is not saying anything! I just hope my sister is alright, Dan took his own life, Becky didn’t want to go, he didn’t have to take her down with him! Thou shall not kill, I do not believe he is in heaven. Bekime’ We love You! Your in our prayers.
hisfamily said,
April 25, 2008 at 3:13 am
what does danny’s money have to do with any of this? i do hope all is well with ur sister, but because our family is takeing care of anything of dannys is none of ur business.
homesweethome said,
April 25, 2008 at 3:20 am
The Sister. I am so sorry for what you and your family is going through. I know you have been doing what you can to locate Becky and I had hopes that you would be successful. Still, just because you haven’t found her yet, doesn’t mean that you will not find her. It just might take more time, so don’t give up hope yet.
BTW it isn’t unusual for a person planning suicide to either leave a letter telling what they want to do with their possessions or to mail a letter outlining their wishes.
Trey said,
April 25, 2008 at 4:46 am
Hey Theresa, I will pass onto my wife the part about being young. She will love it! Thank you for your gracious forgiveness.
Trey
Theresa said,
April 25, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Dear Sister,
I am glad that you are defending Becky as I am defending my son. I am his mother, what does one expect me to say? That he is a murderer and he is going to rot in hell!!! I do not have the power and wisdom to make that decision. It is only God that knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We know nothing. Do you honestly think that Danny would call us and tell us that he was going to kill himself. Do we know yet that Danny hurt Becky? You seem to know alot more about my son’s finances and letters than I do. Heck, I didn’t know when the letter was postmarked. I do know that someone besides a family member did try to get into his checking account. I wish that Danny would have gotten help, left Colorado or something to avoid this terrible tragedy. I know you long to find your sister and I pray that she will be found alive. The family of Danny’s feels nothing but sadness for your family and of course for the loss of my son and the disappearance of Becky. We have no ANSWERS, we have no secrets. If there was something that would help we would call the detectives on the case. We had NO control over what has transpired. It is awful, sad, painful, horrendous and too unreal to think about, but unfortunately we have to deal with it on a daily basis. I am sorry for what your family is going through, but I too and many others in my family are grieving for the loss of our son, brother, nephew, grandson, cousin, aunts and uncles. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Please, I beg of you don’t say that my son is in hell unless of course you are God and you have the book of Life in front of you. Anger will get no one anywhere. Are we going to be angry and sad, of course, but please be careful about what you say about my son, I have not said one negative thing about your sister or her ex-husband Wes. Like,I said before there has not been any confirmation that Danny hurt your sister, yes there is some evidence that I am not going to put on this site, but you are aware of it. God Bless You and may the hatred in your heart about my son slowly fade as the days go on. Theresa
homesweethome said,
April 26, 2008 at 4:17 am
Right now I think it is important to remember that both Becky’s family and friends as well as Danny’s family and friends are grieving. Both will be angry. And both are in fear. Yes, both are in fear. For Becky’s well being and a need to find out what happened to her. But for Danny’s family, they also fear having it shown that he has taken someone else’s life. That is hard at any time, but even more difficult when you are already grieving.
Now I am not privy to the police findings, and I don’t ask that people share more than they wish to. But from my reading of the articles, police do seem to believe that Becky did not leave due to her own wishes and that foul play is a possibility. And her family is upset and frustrated that they have not been able to find her. And angry at the person they believe to have caused her disappearance. So it is probably pretty understandable that they will not be wishing well, the person they feel is responsible.
Many times in absence of the person thought to be guilty of a crime, family will turn their anger to the persons closest to the person they believe to be guilty. But I do believe in this case, had the family had prior notice or the ability to stop this they would have. So to blame family for grieving a loved one, or to blame them for what occurred is just as wrong as believing that no one should blame the person thought to have killed someone, just because they are no longer able to speak up for themselves.
Please recognize that both sides are hurting right now, and that both sides have experienced loss.
Theresa said,
April 26, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Dear Home Sweet Home,
The letter that you wrote is so very accurate. I am a loving, caring person and it is so hard to go through this. I could not have come up with the words that you used as graciously as you did. Thank you so much. God Bless You for your compassion for all parties involved. Theresa
the other sister said,
April 28, 2008 at 3:50 am
I am another sister of becky’s, we all love her and miss her very much. She is loved by many, she is a beautiful young woman. I have just come across this site. We all have many questions and all want answers. As far Dan’s financial matters go, they ARE our business, when it could have something to do with her disappearance. We don’t care about his money, it has nothing to do with that. It has to do with other things which(out of respect) I will not post on here. We will let the detectives do their job with this, as the saying goes the truth comes out in the end. Our main objective is to find Becky, and we will not stop until we do,and bring justice to her for all parties involved!! God Bless… WE LOVE YOU BECKY!!!!!!!
homesweethome said,
April 28, 2008 at 4:54 am
The Other Sister, I sincerely hope that you find her soon, and find the answers. I know this has to be wearing on all your family members.
Theresa said,
April 28, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Dear other Sister,
I understand that everything has to be looked into. Your father talked to me for 6 hours on the phone and insinuated that Dan was possibly doing fradulent business with checks, he told me he was seen buying cleaning products, he told me that Dan would not let him into his apartment one day. He told me that Wes was Becky’s drug dealer and couldn’t understand why the “weasel” as he put it was leading the search party. He told me about the 19,000.00 check which we knew about, it was for his RX8 which someone was going to buy. Which the police have. There was a check at Danny’s apt. for 20 some thousand which no one bothered to grab, which was also for the RX8. Danny had not deposited either one as he was not sure if he was going to get rid of it. I am not afraid to let the truth out as I know it. It will all (hopefully) come out in the end. My biggest fear is not ever knowing the Real truth. This haunts me everyday. I also know that my son was generous to your family and I think that is wonderful as that is the way Danny was. Again, we mean no harm or disrespect, we too want closure to this nightmare. Yes, I have Danny’s ashes, but by no means has this brought closure to my world. I pray that there will be some answers soon. God Bless, Theresa P. S. All of this is so tiring, not only is my son gone, but he is being picked apart piece by piece, yes, I understand that it has to be done. According to your father, Danny was at his house on March 31st the day that he died. He also said Danny was there all the time. I just don’t understand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hisfamily said,
April 28, 2008 at 10:20 pm
i think that theresa has been thru enough, and been NOTHING but honest to the world on this site and to the many involved. she talked 4 six hours to the father when she DID NOT have to do that. but she, like her son and hell our whole family r good honest people.
the sister said,
April 29, 2008 at 1:25 am
Well I just got some of her other belongings delivered to my home, including her wedding dress that Daniel hid in the office, for her and Wes’ wedding, ( with jewelry and clothes)You don’t know how that feels being her closest sister, the point is, Daniel in the end was a sick person, I have no hate for the family, but him I do. At this time it has hit me seeing all her belongings…just being dropped off to me! Like ” yeah Daniel killed becky, heres her stuff” It’s just wrong! That cannot be forgiven, he didn’t have to throw her off somewhere up in the mountains ( like we believe) as if she was nothing. Psychotic human being.
hisfamily said,
April 29, 2008 at 5:30 am
funny the sisters know it all. danmy wasn’t sick he was heartbroken…
Theresa said,
April 29, 2008 at 11:51 am
I’m just curious. If your sister was living with my son, why would she be marrying Wes?
Theresa said,
April 29, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Until the Homocide detectives tell me that my son did it, I will not believe it. Do you know what defemation of character is? Have you heard the term, Innocent until proven guilty. I am sorry that Becky is still missing and I’m sure you and your family miss her terribly, but who are you to call my son a Psychotic human being. There are two sides to every story and we will never know them, we may find out some things, but did you live with Danny and Becky? I didn’t. I want proof of all these allegations, not just hateful words. My son spent the week of Easter with his brother and nephew and they had a wonderful time, he hated to leave. I also know that he called Becky every single day. How strange he got home and all this happened. As far as I am concerned there is only One person who knows everything and that is GOD. God is the Judge
homesweethome said,
April 29, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Some people do find it hard to understand how one person could choose to kill a person they said they loved. They need a label. If it isn’t illness, then what is it? Just plain meanness? A person without regard for love or the right for another to live? A controlling person who would choose what she had the right to do? Oh yes, heartbroken…a person who would rather see her dead than allow her to choose another?
Denial in the family I can understand. You don’t want to believe that your loved one can harm another. And until it is final and formal, you won’t believe it. I actually do understand that. But innocent until proven guilty? First of all, that is a court term and this isn’t a court. People do form opinions outside of court. Second there won’t be a court, because the alleged perpetrator chose to take his own life rather than face questions and a court. Third, in order to prove defamation- you have to prove that what was said was without basis. Can you do that? And I do believe there was blood found in his car? And witnesses to his statement that he would kill her then kill himself (which we know without doubt that at least part of it happened) And that is just the things that I know about.
The Sister came here and spoke of something that brought a fresh wave of pain, grief and frustration to her. And you respond with an attack? Are you attempting to control her right to speak out in her grief? If anyone could understand that grief, I would think it would be you. You lost a loved one. You grieve. Do you always choose your words carefully, right after you get hit with something new? Does it really make you feel better about your loss to prevent another from speaking out in their grief?
The Sister, I don’t know all that you are going through and selfishly, I hope that I never have to learn. For me, to fear but not know- to not know if or when you will ever know to me that seems harder than knowing. With no end, no resolution….
You can still honor your sister. And you are doing that with every search you made, with every time you deal with a new issue, with every time that you remember her. You don’t have a grave to go to, it is true. But you can pick a place to go to, a place that can be where you remember her. Where doesn’t matter. But a place where you can sit and remember, a place where you can leave flowers for her.
I know right now, there are times that you probably feel that you cannot make it past this. But you can. I kinda have a theory (not everyone shares my theory, lol), but a person is never really gone as long as someone remembers them with love. As long as that shared love remains on earth, a part of them stays too.
Time doesn’t really make it easier. But time does allow you to get used to it, if that makes any sense. So hang in there, take it one day at a time. Know that when you get through each day, that you are one day closer to being used to it. Believe it or not, the time will come when your memories will bring you pleasure, not tears.
the other sister said,
April 29, 2008 at 10:00 pm
To his family,
First of all we don’t everything, apparently you know more than us, Secondly Becky was married for a short period of time(before) Daniel was in the picture everyone knew that including Daniel. My family took Daniel in when he moved to Colorado. They treated him like a Son, Where was he for Holidays??? MY PARENTS HOUSE. I talked to Daniel often by phone and when I visited my parents he was always there. So don’t comment on things you don’t know about. We are grieving too!! Each day it gets harder for us with no answers, no Becky to be found. Then others come drop off Becky’s possessions exactly 1 month today that she’s been gone, claiming Daniel put them in a crawl space and they were cleaning out the old office?? Are we supposed to think Becky’s in Hawaii having a great old time?? Lets get the facts straight with what we know.. We all know that most stories like this don’t end up as a happy ending. Yes and it is strange that he comes back from Texas and goes postal isn’t it??? and isn’t it strange that we found an email suggesting that he get BECKY out of his life?? So keep your opinions to yourselves as we are speaking through facts, and if you can’t handle it , then get off this site!!!! My whole familly was very close to Daniel We all loved him too and we did know him.God Bless (your gonna need it).
hisfamily said,
April 29, 2008 at 10:45 pm
the elshani family has done nothing but talk shit about danny, and my family has said not one ill word about becky. blood in the truck.. they were together 6 years rite?? go figure… and why was danny the only one on the lease to THERE apt??
homesweethome said,
April 29, 2008 at 11:29 pm
I do have a question. If the situation was reversed, if Danny was missing and Becky killed herself just as police arrived to ask about it…. how many good things would you have to say about Becky?
LOL, what is it supposed to mean about he was the only name on the lease? Every couple handles financial arrangements differently. I know of a lot of couples who do that. Sometimes it is that arrangement because only one was available to sign the lease. Sometimes one person doesn’t want to make that committment. Sometimes it is because the lease signer has the better credit. And sometimes it is because that is the way that finances are divided in the household. The point is, that was the couple’s decision and what they chose.
As far as bad words about Becky, what justifies murder? Because I don’t believe that anyone deserves to be killed unless it is in defense of self or others. And I would also question why if you believed that happened, why you didn’t call police at the time and prevent all of this?
the other sister said,
April 30, 2008 at 12:20 am
to home sweet home and his family,
First of all the police were called, in the state of colorado it has to be 72 hrs that a person is missing before they do what’s called a “welfare check” on the person, they reported it sat, that’s why Monday they went to the APT to check on Becky and we know the rest from there. As far as our whole family “talking shit ” about Daniel, my other siblings are younger they are angry they don’t understand. I am the older. I never said anything about him(see previous post) I wrote my whole family loved him. how is that talking shit?? He played xbox with my 7 yr old brother, played basketball with my 9yr sister. Even now with all this going on my 7 yr old brother asks where is Daniel we were on level 2 he was supposed to help me get to the next level. Their love is unconditional, they are young they don’t have hatred inside them. They ask where is Becky?? How do you tell a 7 and 9 yr old what happened?? I Why was he the only one on the lease? I don;t know all the answers. Like I said today is exactly 1 month that Becky’s been gone.We are all going through hell. Insults aren’t going to bring Becky or Daniel back. My father cried for 3 days straight not just for Becky, but Daniel too. You think your the only ones feeling pain? How about our family, her friends etc.. You ask what if the situation was reversed and it was Daniel missing? Our family would be doing what we are doing for Becky right now SEARCHING!! Asking questions ETC.. What have you done to help us?? thats right NOTHING!! Daniel always said to all of us YOU ARE MY FAMILY!! At least you had the ability to bury your loved one, mourn you have your closure you know what happened.( WE DON”T )the blood in the car?? It will take months for the results to come back! So lets not even go there. There are 2 sides to every story, we only know what we are told like Theresa said they were 2 adults. They want their parents and family to be proud of them, they are not going to tell us things that would make us view them differently. Once again please don’t comment on things you don’t know, as we only comment on facts that we are told. We are a big family and I can’t control how others feel. Becky we all love you and miss you!!!
vielsa said,
April 30, 2008 at 3:21 am
I am one of the Elshani sisters and all I have to say is everyone got it wrong! Daniel is portrayed like some innocent character when we know he was a selfish and evil person. Love? He loved her and cared for her so much that he took her life yeah that makes perfect sense. He was a cold, heartless, hateful person! If he wasn’t then where the hell is Becky?????? No one has the right to take someone’s life except for God, last time I checked Daniel didn’t have that right and I know he is paying with his soul right now! Just like those maniacs we see on television, who commit hateful crimes no human being can fathom. He was 24 years old, capable of making decisions and he chose to take my sisters life. If he had a death wish he should’ve just ended his own life which he did like a coward. Suicide is always the easy way out, I guerss Danny boy was a real man huh? He was sure he wanted to kill Becky but had no backup plan, genius!!!!! I mean he could’ve at least made it to America’s Most Wanted, that would’ve been the highlight of his life. By the way, I am sick and tired of everyone saying Daniel didn’t kill her! I think we know now who “Danny Boy” really was. He fooled everyone and killed the one person that ever gave a crap about him, apparently he complained about not having good family ties at all. This would explain his unhealthy attatchment to my sister. She was guilty of one thing, she knew the evil in Daniel but chose to love him anyway, for this, I believe her soul is in heaven, sorry Daniel you are suffering somewhere not so pleasant. She did get away from you after all!!! Good job Becky, we love you and miss you deeply, we will reunite! As for Daniel, well, we feel nothing for you and we will find Becky and everyone including your family will understand the darkness behind your selfish actions. At least Becky will be remembered in a positive light and she will be loved by many people as time goes on, her beautiful personality will live on and never be forgotten. She is the hero in this tragedy and I am sure she didn’t give up easy when Daniel harmed her, just like the Devil he caught her off guard and ended her life. He obviously didn’t feel very good about himself, hmmm wonder why. Now he’s gone and so is Becky but the difference is she will not be remembered for such a cruel act. Love you Beck!
vielsa said,
April 30, 2008 at 3:39 am
This is in response to the comment regarding the blood found in the vehicle: If there is any question about the blood that was found in Daniel’s vehicle I suggest you contact the Colorado Springs Homicide Dept. immediately. Obviously Daniel was a cold killer and that’s why all that blood was in his vehicle, why else would there be blood in there? Oh shit… maybe he was a hunter, why didn’t I think of that??????? You people are confused about the facts and you are being ignorant when you second guess the investigation that was performed. I know it’s hard to believe Daniel was a flat out killer but when Becky is found everyone will have to face what he did to her. The truth will come out, we know Daniel wasn’t smart or clever enough to cover tracks. As a matter of fact he was a very weak person with no regard for human life, we don’t need people like that in this world anyway.
homesweethome said,
April 30, 2008 at 4:15 am
Vielsa, do you feel certain that he killed himself out of remorse, out of a desire to join her or a fear of being caught? Because I confess, I had kind of had a different thought.
vielsa said,
April 30, 2008 at 4:24 am
Well happy to see my words reached you! I believe Daniel killed himself out of fear of being caught. He tried to actually get away with it by dumping her clothes in random places and cleaning the blood in the vehicle. I am sorry but even if he didn’t mean it, a normal person would have had so much guilt they would’ve turned themselves in! He had the nerve to eat dinner with our father after he did what he did to her. How can someone look into the eyes of a young gir’s father knowing he killed her and continue to digest a big meal, knowing the father would never see his daughter again? I bet he asked for more bread!!!!
homesweethome said,
April 30, 2008 at 4:42 am
Actually Vielsa, I have my own reasons for trying to keep things calm in a difficult situation.
But my thoughts on his suicide are a bit different than yours. I read in the article that someone had heard him say that he would kill her then himself. If that is so, then he had no reason to fear being caught, he had plans for that. He also didn’t need to hide her body.
I first thought it might have been remorse, until I heard about the letter to the family. Usually if remorse is involved, and esp. if there are plans to harm themselves there will be a confession and the location would be disclosed. Full disclosure and requests for forgiveness hoping for atonement.
I mean I am just wondering. But if Becky’s body is found, is there someone who he wouldn’t want to be able to cry over her body? Someone who he wanted to keep her away from? He waited until police arrived right? So was the question he didn’t want to answer was it the location of her body?
vielsa said,
April 30, 2008 at 5:01 am
The peson he was jealous of was Becky’s ex husband. If he didn’t want someone to cry over her body it would be for this reason. I don’t know what part u didn’t understand, he tried to GET AWAY WITH WHAT HE DID! It’s so obvious he was just a coward and couldn’t speak with the police because he knew they would question him. He probably thought he was never going to get caught and when cops showed up he freaked out. It takes one hell of a person to decide to kill someone and I can’t believe he was ever in my house! Honestly, his work is not something mysterious or brilliant, it’s simple, Colorado is full of mountains that’s why we can’t find her. He wasn’t a mastermind, if he was he’d be here.
Theresa said,
April 30, 2008 at 10:20 am
I truly don’t know what to say. Your father was kind to me, but also said many things that I was not able to handle. Sorry, does that make me weak???? Yes…I can’t imagine what your family is going through. Your Dad spoke of the little ones. Again, I am sorry. Daniel did have a family and was very loved, but he lived in Colorado Springs and your family was his adopted family. We haven’t helped because we don’t know anything that would help. What type of help are you looking for? I wish we could offer something that would help in finding Becky. I am at a loss for words, all I can say is that I am sorry about all of this and it breaks my heart. As parents we never think that something like this would happen to our children. I don’t know what I could say that would make this all easier to fathom. I will not make any comments on the words spoken about my son. I hope you all understand that. Does it mean I’m in denial? No, it just that he’s my son, my flesh and blood. Does any loving parent talk ill of there children? There dead children? I just can’t……………Does it bother me what the implications are? Of course, it does. It makes me sick to my stomach. But, being a parent we want to think the best of our children. I hope I am making sense. Again, I truly am sorry for all of this and I believe that the Elshani family, each and everyone of them are suffering and hurting immensely. God Bless and Keep You. Theresa
Trey said,
April 30, 2008 at 2:43 pm
“Does any loving parent talk ill of there children?”
Loving healthy parents talk ill of their children’s choices all the time. We look for the problems they are having, the struggles they face, the things that we need to help them work on. That is what good, healthy parents do.
Good, healthy people also fight the temptation to turn their lost family members into saints. It is easier to do so, but it does harm to their memory. My mother, God rest her soul, I sure miss her. But she could be mean as a snake, she held a grudge like gold, she worried far to much about her appearance, and I love her with all my heart. I do not have to turn her into someone she was not to miss her. It should be that way for all of us, that we can miss and honor our lost without distorting the realisty of their lives.
Trey
Theresa said,
April 30, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Dear Trey,
When people pass we only want to remember the good things about them, sure there are certain things we remember, but we want to focus on the good times, at least everyone I have talked to has told me that. Are you saying that I’m not a good, healthy parent by not admitting to something that has not been conclusive.. Alot, of you did not know my son, some did and I will always keep him close to my heart and no matter what the outcome is I will always love Danny. As, I have said many times before I am his mother. You can all pick me apart. I am not saying that Danny didn’t have anything to do with this, I am just saying that I am his Mother and I will always remember him as a loving, kind, hardworking, generous, young man.
Trey said,
May 1, 2008 at 3:36 am
Theresa, I just come out and say what I mean to say, I am good that way. You posted a question, and I posted an answer to it. Honestly, I remember my lost loved ones as they were, it is an honor to them. I have no interest in picking you apart, but you posted, and I responded. That seems OK to me.
Trey
vielsa said,
May 1, 2008 at 4:50 pm
What a lovely place to express myself, where should I begin? Oh I know, my sister Becky is still missing. One month and no answers. I wonder if it’s the fact that her body is lying lifeless somewhere or if her soul is wondering somehere to direct someone to her that makes me feel sad. I don’t know which one hurts more. For all you people who didn’t know my sister you should know she was a great person. For some reason when I think of her now, I am reminded of when she was a child. These memories are bright and they make me feel happy and sad at the same time. Becky grew up to be 22, but that child was always in her and it was reflected in everything she did. If someone told her during her teenage years that her life would end so early she would’ve never believed it. She had too many dreams of becoming a singer and living life to the fullest. She would’ve laughed in your face if you told her that. I cannot believe she had to be taken away from us. We will never get to see those dreams be fullfilled or her desire to have a great life. She wanted a family, a dog, and of course a good husband. How could this happen to her? I ask myself this everyday and I have no answers. There are people that take their own lives or wish to die, she felt none of those things. Why do good people have to leave this world and the bad ones continue to commit crimes and make this world an evil place? Becky touched so many people’s lives including Daniel’s to the point where he couldn’t live without her. Well he wasn’t the only one that needed her! She has sisters and brothers that needed her more. Becky we love you and miss you, we will find you. If you ever have a place to rest I will visit you everyday, right by your side, telling you jokes and I will “try” to sing your favorite song. I Love and miss you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Vj
vielsa said,
May 1, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Whoever wrote in the above comment, “Danny wasn’t sick he was heartbroken” is seriously confused about heartbreak! Heartbreak does not mean you murder your lover. My suggestions are as follows: ZOLOFT, PAXIL, LEXAPRO, PROZAC, LUVOX. This list can continue if need be. CAll your doctor if you are feeling heartbroken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
homesweethome said,
May 1, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Vielsa, those are beautiful words about your sister. No, I didn’t know her. But from your description I think I would have liked her.
Why does one heartbroken person choose to grieve then move on, and another heartbroken person choose to kill themselves and/or the other? I have looked at psychological, spiritual and common explanations and I confess, I still don’t understand it. I do know of the devastation it leaves behind. And I don’t have answers to that either.
I do know that you can eventually come to terms with this, but each person gets there in different ways. And they must give themselves time to get used to the pain, time to develop the desire for that peace. Right now, all you are feeling is the pain. Even the memories hurt. I can tell you that in time, you will be able to look at those pictures of her and those memories and not cry. In time you will be able to look at them and think how lucky you are to have those treasured memories. But you do have to give yourself time.
vielsa said,
May 2, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Thank you for your thoughtful message, I feel relieved to know their are good people such as yourself that can comprehend the sadness my family is feeling. I cannot look at her pictures, it makes me feel overwhelmed with loss and then deep sadness. I wish every time she called, even when I was in the middle of something I would’ve answered. I wish I told her I loved her more and that she should enjoy every moment. Without knowing she would be taken from us, I did not get to say these things to her. I wish I could’ve been there to protect her that night her life was taken. I can only imagine the fear she felt when she realized her last moments here in this world. While lying in pain, I wonder what her last thoughts were. In my heart, I know they were thougths about how much she loved us and she tried to hang on to life. I know she thought of childhood days and how fun life was with us. I know she was lying there thinking she wanted to see us one more time, to be with her as she passed. Becky, I wish I was there to hold your hand, I know you were so scared of what was happening to you, and at that moment you realized how much you loved us. I know this because you are my sister and I felt what happened to you. I want you to know you are closer to me than ever, and I can’t wait for the day when we see eachother again, I know you will be more beautiful than I ever remebered. I will have to live with this emptiness and sadness as long as I live, it’s so painful to wake up and know that I will never hear your voice and give you a hug. We were always close in age and I always wanted to let you in on things in my life but didn’t. Life was just beginning for you, and you were growing up. I waited for this time to share things with you because you were older and could understand me. I remember wishing that you would get older faster so I could share things with you that you wouldn’t have understood at that time. You made it to that point and now I can’t share my thoughts and experieneces with you. You grew into a woman, and now you’re in heaven, not with us. I know you are looking over me and you know what’s going on in my life now, I don’t need to worry about telling you those things. Sometimes when I am driving, I feel like you’re sitting in the seat next to me, especially when I play your favorite song…” IF YOU”RE NOT THE ONE”. I love you so much and I would give anything to pick up the phone and call you or for you to tell me a joke. Some people get over these things, I never will. No one, no guy, nobody will ever fill the place I have for you in my heart. I love you so much… I know you loved fairies, and now you are one of them soaring the skies, protecting us. We love you! Vjollca
homesweethome said,
May 2, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Vielsa, every time someone dies, it is human nature to think back and regret any time we were short with the person, angry or whatever. And also human nature to regret it. When you didn’t have time to speak to her, didn’t she call back again at some point? I believe she understood after all, we all get busy at times. We all regret words that are not said, and sometimes we forget that some things are understood without words. Love is one of those things. Love is one of those things that are felt, but not always said.
Marc Blundell said,
May 2, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Dan was my bestfriend when he lived in Michigan. I can say without a doubt he was a very caring giving person. He may have had a few acceptance issues but he wasnt a crazy cold hearted anything. Im only going to talk about character because thats all I have the right to talk about. Hed do anything for anyone without question. The “Other” family minus Vielsa should try a little harder to be more respectful to Dans family. Together BOTH families are going through alot right now so instead of fighting work together, thats the only way youll be able to get any answers.
Marc
the sister said,
May 3, 2008 at 4:29 am
I ” The other family” am simply opinionizing. Everyone knows they agree with the fact that someone who kills a person, is crazy or mental, but since you are his “friend” your denying this, which is very common in a situation and like this. I have said before, I do not hate his family, but him I do have hatred for. Goodness sakes, this is my sister we are talking about…she’s taken away from me and my family cause some psychopath obsessed guy did something to her, and we have no clues, at least leave us a suicide letter, telling us where her body is… he’s all cozy on top of a mantle in his itty bitty ashes, but wheres my sister? that is selfish, he really thought he could get away with this and live life….Wow! This world is unbelievable and undeniably corrupted!!!
the sister said,
May 3, 2008 at 4:31 am
I ” The other family” am simply opinionizing. Everyone knows they agree with the fact that someone who kills a person, is crazy or mental, but since you are his “friend” your denying this, which is very common in a situation and like this. I have said before, I do not hate his family, but him I do have hatred for. Goodness sakes, this is my sister we are talking about…she’s taken away from me and my family cause some psychopath obsessed guy did something to her, and we have no clues, at least leave us a suicide letter, telling us where her body is… he’s all cozy on top of a mantle in his itty bitty ashes, but wheres my sister? that is selfish, he really thought he could get away with this and live life….Wow! This world is unbelievable and undeniably corrupted!!!
Marc Blundell said,
May 3, 2008 at 4:59 am
No not everyone agrees that someone who kills someone is crazy or mental, and im not denying anything the evidence leans one way but noone knows for sure yet. And when you talk about someones son so negative you are attacking his family without even knowing it, or maybe you do. Im not here to start shit with anyone, im not even trying to defend Dan so much, hes just the only one I knew. If I had known your sister maybe itd have been different. “come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another right now” lots of people have redone that song but to be relevant im going with Nirvana.
hisfamily said,
May 3, 2008 at 9:26 am
thank you marc for ur kind words, i am dannys cuz and haveing a real hard time with this. i needed that.. i miss him so much and know that this wasn’t danny.. just like they know thier family, i know mine.. thank u again
Marc Blundell said,
May 3, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Im sure your having a hard time, its not an easy thing to try and wrap your mind around. Are you a Michigan cousin or Colorado cousin? If youd ever like to talk about Dan hit me up on myspace myspace.com/sir_marcus_a…myspace.com/sir_marcus_alan, anyone for that matter. I havent been in touch with Dan the last few years and id like to hear what he was up to
vielsa said,
May 4, 2008 at 2:03 am
When someone’s child hurts another human being, I feel it’s the parents responsibility to apologize to that family. “His Family” states there is no obligation there to speak for a few hours. Actually, a few hours isn’t long enough! The least “His Family” could’ve done was to search with us instead of searching through his belongings and items he left behind to take back home. They should have lead the search! After all, they all claim they knew “Danny” so well… Ok, if this is true, any clues on where Becky might be? If you all are family then you can think like Danny also, no one volunteered any information even if it could help in finding Becky. If anything, they were not cooperating with questions that were being asked by detectives. Sounds supportive, right? Everyone here defends Daniel, what about Becky who is in nowhere land and can’t be laid to rest? At least you all got to say by to Daniel, and you have his ashes. All of you claim you knew Daniel soooo well through and through, well if this is true, why didn’t any of you get him mental help? Now you all talk about what a geat person he was. Did you know he felt like he had no one and begged my dad to let him be a part of the family? If you were all so close then how could you let Daniel live his life that way? Didn’t anyone sense something was wrong with him? Bottom line is, there is a huge obligation for saying sorry, sorry isn’t enough. What is Becky did that to Daniel? Exactly.
vielsa said,
May 4, 2008 at 2:11 am
One more thing, please stop acting like you’re the only one’s hurting! Oh and the whole attitude thing. What is the attitude for? Disappointment with what Daniel did, I would hope. If the situation were reversed, I’d be searching for Daniel right now, that would be the right thing to do. Becky told me to tell all of you who speak selfishly to get over yourselves!
the sister said,
May 4, 2008 at 3:33 am
Yes, from what I heard his brother who is in Michigan was talking to the detective being very rude and straight up nasty! To an investigator….This is probably that same family member that is transferring thousands of dollars into his own account! That is america after all, only caring about money. He’s taking the car and living wealthy off of daniels shady money that is just disgusting to me! I haven’t heard of him here, he’s probably on a vacation with his brothers funds!
Well I love u all my sisters writing on here, We are one real family! We miss you Bekime’ I will see your soon!
Oh yeah and Nirvana is the devil, look where it took Dan!
the sister said,
May 4, 2008 at 3:35 am
By the way….The brother, I was told is in Texas, I didn’t mean michigan
homesweethome said,
May 4, 2008 at 4:28 am
Ok, I think we all need to take a breath. First of all, Daniel is the one thought to have harmed Becky. Not Daniel’s family. We all need to keep that in mind.
Second, yes they are hurting too. They know for sure what happened to Daniel. They know what he is being accused of, and no they don’t really want to believe it. When they hear of evidence coming out that points to Daniel, I am sure that hurts them. However, it is reality. As the saying goes, sometimes reality bites.
Third, at some point or other they all have shared time with Daniel. Some of them liked him, some of them loved him. As I believe some of you have said- you spent time with him and even liked him. Your feelings about him were blown away quickly because of the allegations of what he has done to your sister. Their’s may take more time. But even if they come to believe in the allegations- he was still their loved one first. After what happened to your feelings about him it may be hard to believe that anyone can still feel love for him, but the love of a mother sister brother doesn’t change. They can and do still love him. And though they hope that he didn’t do what he is accused of, they are not saying they approve of it nor have they tried to justify it.
vielsa said,
May 4, 2008 at 2:26 pm
This is to the last comment on Home Sweet Home. You are absolutely right when you talk about loved ones and how that love is unconditional. You must know from experience or you have a close family. Some people aren’t that fortunate to experience something so powerful. I never knew how intense that love could be until the day I felt Becky was gone. I never knew what pain was until I looked up into the sky and saw gray clouds swirling around and the wind singing, wondering where Becky was, afraid she might be a part of that scene. I know Daniel’s family loves him no matter what he did, if I were his family I would feel the same. There is nothing wrong with that, what would be wrong is not caring for him after what he may have done. No one came on this site to hurt or attack Daniel’s family. We simply wanted to express what we were feeling about the entire situation which in turn, leaves us bitter with Daniel. If any of you have a problem with that I feel sorry for the day you get a phone call such as we did! Please stop being ignorant. How do you want us to feel about Daniel? The person that will probably be the reason my father will die of a heart attack! He is not taking this well he was so close to Becky. Most families center their lives around money, gossip, and competing with one another. Well in the Elshani family, it is nothing but love among everyone. We now have to mend all the pieces and try to go on without her. How can a family do that? I don’t know, only time will tell.
the other sister said,
May 4, 2008 at 4:34 pm
hello sisters I just wanted to say thanks for great comments and I love you all very much, and we will find Becky!!! Becky we all love you and miss you so much!!
Jessica said,
May 5, 2008 at 11:23 am
Theresa,
Im not sure if you remember me. Dan and I were friends when he lived in Michigan. We changed schools together and did lots of crazy thing like teenagers often do. I found out about this site from Marc. He and I had been talking about how we would get in touch with you to let you know we are thinking of you and your family.
I know we all lost touch over the years but I had found Dan on myspace a few months back. It was great to talk to him. But we never really spoke about what was going on in his life at that moment. We pretty much laughed at ourselves and about the “Blue Bus”. I remember giving him my water bed because I dint like it and he wanted one.
I want you to know how I remember Dan. The out going young man with so much life to live. A great smile and personality to match. He was always there for the people in his life. He had so much passion for music and the out doors. Dan had a great spirit.
As for the tragedy that took place it breaks my heart I pray they find Becky. So the family can have peace of mind.
But I am shocked at some of the comments people leave. As for his family “apologizing” well they have but he was a grown man and made his own choices and we can’t go back now. What ifs are not going to change the facts that a young life was lost and a young woman is missing. No one knows the whole story and we may never know. Dans family is also suffering the loss of Dan and Becky. But they are not to blame if you have children you would know that all you can do is lead them down the right path and hope they make right choices. That’s why parents are only responsible for their children tell they are 18 years of age.
Once again Theresa know that I will always remember Danny Boy as he was when we were young he brought a lot into my life and I know you were a wonderful mother to him. To Beckys family my thoughts are with you in your time of need and I hope you find her soon. God Bless both Families.
hisfamily said,
May 5, 2008 at 9:49 pm
marc could u please send me a friend request just search heather behnke in az. my computer is to shit so i.m useing my cell to go online and its eaiser 4 me that way.. thank u. and i’m a mi cuz.
***D*** said,
May 7, 2008 at 4:34 am
This comment is in response to Tara’s: ” Dan was my boyfriend my freshman year in high school and the way that you talk about him tasing her- the police believed that she stretched what really happened.”
Tara,
You have no idea what happened with the tasing incident so why are you writing as if you do. Becky did not stretch the truth by any means. The hospital report indicated she was tased over 20 times and had third degree burns. Both hospital and police reports confirmed she was tased over 20 times. I saw the reports, you didn’t so where do you come off saying she stretched the truth. You heard about the incident from a third party who twisted the truth. Your information in inaccurate mine on the other hand is not.
As far as you knowing Daniel…you dated him before you even hit puberty. Do you honestly think people don’t change from when they were a child. You didn’t know Daniel as an adult so I find it funny that you can make the comments that you did. I knew him as an adult so I can tell you the type of person he was. You on the other hand can only comment on what he was like as a child. I find it rather pathetic that you want to come on this site and voice your opinions. You didn’t know him the past few years. You didn’t Becky so don’t make comments based on false information. Apparently you have nothing better to do than to get on and gossip. All of a sudden you were best friends with Daniel because you want to part of the story. It’s to bad that you and Daniel didn’t stay together until adulthood that way he would have killed you and not my sister. You would be the one that was missing not my sister. Everyone would be out was looking for you not her…then again no one would probably care enough about you to go out and look for you. If you and Daniel had stayed together two psychopaths would be dead as opposed to my beautiful, smart, talented sister.
vielsa said,
May 7, 2008 at 4:49 am
Tara,
We don’t care to know who you were sleeping with freshmen year of high school. You did not know my sister Becky and she’d be pissed if she knew you said that. Have a little respect, especially when you speak of my sister. So you were friends with a psychotic killer? Nice! I bet you had a great relationship with him the two of you, what a pair! I see the silmilarities already, selfish and inconsiderate. Why don’t you do something producctive with your time and leave the speculating to the detectives. You know better yet why don’t you search for my sister who you know so much about? Let me ask you this, have you ever been tased? Do you even know what that is? I doubt you do! Well she was tased numerous times and it was painful. You need to get a life and get your facts straight , or just stop writing. You aren’t very good at that and your information isn’t correct. If you knew Becky that would be a different story. You only supposedly hooked up with Daniel, right? You were a kid, you didn’t know him, you were probably the annoying neighbor who stalked Daniel and maybe that was all in your head about actually dating him. Maybe you should stop giving credit to the man that killed my sister and start to realize what you are saying. He was selfish, and like you said, insecure to the point where he knew he couldn’t do any better than my beautiful sister, sorry she had you beat.. by far! By the way, Becky says you will be dreaming of her soon. Nighty night.
vielsa said,
May 7, 2008 at 4:55 am
To all my lovely sisters! Thanks for the comments, people are heartless and need to be put in their place. I dont know how people can come on here and say things that don’t make any sense. We will find Becky don’t worry! Love ya guys.
Vielsa said,
May 7, 2008 at 4:03 pm
This is to Tara’s childish comments. I woke up this morning with the urge to set Tara straight, can you blame me? I was tired last night and forgot to add a few things. How dare you (TARA) come on this site and act like you know something! Stop acting like you are connected to this situation through Daniel. Are you proud of yourself for mentioning you had a relationship with Daniel? What was the reasoning behind clarifying that? For your information, nobody cares about what you did with him or who the hell you even are! You came out of the woodwork like you were going to contribute some sweet sentiments, get a freakin life! Why don’t you pick up this month’s copy of US Weekly for some juicy stories. Let my sister rest, if you want to bug somebody why don’t you try stalking Daniel? Oh that’s right, that’s not possible! By the way, your words only aggravated us as a family, why don’t you just find something better to do with your time, like go through your old high school yearbook and think of that great old friend of yours. If you’re here to defend him, I am here to defend my sister Becky. Daniel, by the way, hurt my sister and yes tased her 20 times. Becky was strong, I doubt any girl could handle that. Bottom line is, you didn’t know about their relationship, you didn’t know Becky, all you know is that you hooked up with a psycho. So, with that, I hope I don’t see any more stupidity on this site. My fingers are starting to hurt from defending my sister, but if you want, I can write until my hands fall off, until every comment regarding Becky is argued. Yes, that’s how much love I have for Becky and she would not accept anything less. I think US WEEKLY is 75 cents, next time you’re at the grocery store pick one up and see what Britney Spears is up to! Leave this site for people who actually love Backy and care for her, and the ones that want her to be found. Obviously, as a woman, you have no respect for what she went through, or not to mention women that get abused and wind up like this. This is a time for women to come together and not let abusive men do these things to the women that love them. I hope you feel good about yourself.
Vielsa said,
May 7, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Hey guys! You know who you are! I think this site has evolved into our very own chat room, hahahah. Keep the comments coming, keep the idiots away, and most importantly, lets remember Becky every chance we get! Love you guys.
Vielsa said,
May 7, 2008 at 6:36 pm
BECKY WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!
michigan "in law" said,
May 8, 2008 at 11:38 am
ok first of all you need to get your facts straight. I know more than this sister)vielsa) and I’m the way in michigan. His family couldn’t stay and search because they have jobs and school they needed to get back to and that wasn’t goin to be easy considering their loss. I know all the circomstances surrounding this and i am not defending danny but i think because his family has been so respectfull to you and your family and have said becky is in their thoughts and prayers that you should respect his family. They have nothing to do with this except for the loss of a loved one. It is extremely tragic… but to call him psycho and crazy is just disrepectful! no one has said anything bad about becky and noone should pass judgement. People do stupid shit for stupid reasons doesn’t mean they have mental problems it’s just that at that point in time they don’t see any other way out…. I just think that his family has been extremely respectful to you you should give his family especially his mother the same respect. and noone is acting like our family is the only one hurting….we have answers and your family doesnt and that is alot worse. Noone is on vaction with Danny’s money or living an extravagant lifestyle with his money but if they were it was HIS money. I’ve been watching this family grieve and it reminds me that we cannot fight or bicker just try to remember the family we still have and hold them even closer now, and cherish every minute. I do hope that your family gets the answers and closure you deserve. but don’t condem his family for what he may or may not have done. the only people who will ever know the REAL truth are Becky and Danny and that alone is tragic. If this family could have helped more we would have but noone has the means to travel or can get that time off work or school or other responsiblities they have. Any person in this family including danny would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. I do keep becky in my prayers and I know the rest of the family does because that’s what kind of people they are. Please just keep in mind that you’re not the only ones hurting. I pray for becky and your family and hope thats god gives your family the strength to get through this extremely hard time. Cherish the family and friends you have and can talk to or see because you never know what is going to happen. God Bless
michigan "in law" said,
May 8, 2008 at 12:00 pm
and just another questoin….. why did she log into her myspace on april first if she had been missing since march 29th???? thats just something that has been puzzling me…….
homesweethome said,
May 8, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I might be able to answer that question. When police start an investigation, if they can they will often check the person’s MySpace in order to look for clues as to what on. Family members will often do the same thing. I can’t say that is what happened, but it is very common.
vielsa said,
May 8, 2008 at 4:30 pm
To the Michigigan “in law”. You don’t know anything, and unless you are going to contribute something positive you should stay off this site. This is about Becky now, we don’t give a shit about Daniel and I don’t know why anyone keeps bringing that up. You guys have his remains! It’s different on our end, and yes, I know everything, I was out searching and I knew Daniel probably better than you did. Remember, he said he had no family???????? Plus, he was in a relationship with my sister, I knew everything about Daniel pretty much, through her. Don’t come on here and tell me I don’t know anything! Good family? Good people? Thanks for searching! The fact that you were puzzled about the Myspace thing, come on, my five year old brother could have figured that out, suggests you don’t know anything.
vielsa said,
May 8, 2008 at 4:40 pm
So, another thing, Danny would give you the shirt off his back but he didn’t have the decency (hope you know what that word means) to leave us a note telling us where Becky is? Better yet, why didn’t he just not kill her…? Oh that’s right because he was a perfectly normal individual! He was sick in his head and if he wasn’t then how could he have hurt an innocent young girl like my sister? Until you answer that I hope I don’t have to read your pointless words. I’d rather read Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham!
vielsa said,
May 8, 2008 at 4:52 pm
By the way, nobody says anything bad about Becky because she didn’t kill anyone, I suppose killing someone is the worst thing a human being could do. There’s nothing bad to say about Becky, she was a great person. Daniel, on the other hand, well, I can write a book about that. First, you all need to take some psychology classes because you seem to think Daniel’s actions are acceptable. News flash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Killing another human being is not ok!
homesweethome said,
May 8, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Vielsa, since I didn’t know Becky I do have a question about her. Each of us has our own personalities, but often there will be similarities between family members. Was Becky more like your sister’s who stated their positions with dignity, standing on the positions that they knew they were right? Or was she more the personality to lash out at anyone and everyone?
michigan "in law" said,
May 8, 2008 at 5:42 pm
I honestly wasn’t trying to start anything I didn’t say you don’t know anything i just said u need to get ur shit straight cuz alot of your facts are incorrect. the whole myspace thing… you think danny logged into her account or something. And i’m not a disrespectful bitch but i could think of quite a few things that i could say bad about becky. but i don’t because that’s not the issue here and it has no relavance to bad mouth 2 people. i was just asking that you have a little respect towards his family because they are not the guilty party here. I’m honestly sorry i hurt you that was not my intention. i just read through all of these and made me upset as I’m sure it does you. so i do apologize but please don’t insult my intelligance. I in no way condone daniel’s actions but noone knows what happened and if the tables were turned it would be the same way it is now just flipped around. I was just trying to say his family are very could people and if they could have helped they would have. I’m honestly not trying to fight with you i just wanted to voice my opinion like everyone else and i didn’t realize it was hurting people. God bless you and your family!
michigan "in law" said,
May 8, 2008 at 5:45 pm
this is to home sweet home….. if the police went into her myspace why wouldn’t they have his?
vielsa said,
May 8, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Ok, another stupid question, directed at me, I am loving this! Have you ever had a family member that was murdered or brutally killed? Probably not, I am guessing that would explain the ridiculous question you asked me. If you haven’t been through something like this then you will never understand the need to defend my poor sister. Lashing out? That’s fair and I am proudly guilty of it. If you want to know more about Becky’s personality, keep reading what have to say! Stating positions with dignity? Who the hell are you to judge? You are not family as far as I am concerned, you are just like everyone else who wants to have a stance or an opinion. Why don’t you take a look at yourself and put yourself in our shoes? What would you be writing? Why don’t you think of that while I get some coffee!
vielsa said,
May 8, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I wish Becky had more of my personality, if she did she would still be here. I would’ve fought that bastard till the end, I am sure she did, but unfortunately, sometimes evil wins. Before you people decide to voice your opinions, please think before you do so because a lot of you just continue to write like third graders who can’t comprehend the nature of what we are talking about! BECKY WAS KILLED AND LEFT SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
michigan "in law" said,
May 8, 2008 at 6:07 pm
i completely undersatnd why you’re defending her and yes we’d do the same thing. but you’re just being cruel i’m trying to be kind because you deserve that respect. and just like you have said before if you don’t know then stop talking about it……well you don’t know me and about 10 years ago or so my cousin was brutally murdered while he was at work. he got shot in the head with a shotgun for someone 2 feet away from him. so yes i have experiened something similar although it was not my sister or brother. please stop attacking everyone. I don’t see how you’re taking everything written in the worst way. i’m trying to show you that have have compassion for your family and no parties involoved deserved any of this. I do keep becky in my prayers. and pray that you get the answer and closure you need.
Child of God said,
May 8, 2008 at 6:47 pm
How sad and hateful all these comments are.
Child of God said,
May 9, 2008 at 1:19 am
What do you want from Danny’s family??? How can they help when all you do is cut them down. They have expressed time and time again how saddened they are for this horrific tragedy. I’m sure they are well aware of all the newspaper articles and have contact with the detectives. There are things that they probably know too, but don’t mention because they would be hurtful and what good would that do??? Add salt to an open sore? All anyone can do is pray at this moment. Vielsa you have written some beautiful things and I can feel your pain and if in order to get through your day it helps you to cut down Danny’s family and him, there is nothing no one can say or do. By the way I believe this site is for anyone, not just the Elshani sisters. No one would ever wish this on anyone. Please try not to lash out at innocent people. God Bless
vielsa said,
May 9, 2008 at 3:08 am
My oh my, I am at a loss for words haha, gotcha! That’s not true, actually, the more you people write the more I have to say. So many readers, I must not misspell any words or viloate any grammar rules. I like that so many of you are opinionated, such as myself. Well, this situation is really depressing and I feel this is the only place I can write openly about Becky. If all of you think I am an angry, bitter, negative individual, you are right! You know, before this happened to Becky I was the complete opposite. I cannot help that I feel hopless in this case. If she could just be found, we could do the right thing and say goodbye. I don’t want to ever say goodbye but that sure beats not knowing where her body is. She needs a place, she deserves that. If I have to wake up feeling this way every morning for the rest of my life, I’d rather trade places with Becky. Oh Becky, you will never know the pain we are going through, and your place in the family will always remain. Your absence is unbearable and unreal. I feel guilty when I get to see the sunshine or smell flowers because I know you cannot enjoy them. But, I will enjoy it twice once for me and once for you! I bet you are happier wherever you are. I know this complicated world made you sad more than it offered you happiness, so, I guess you are seeing things that are imaginable and beautiful. I miss you so much and if this emptiness is part of remembering you, I will deal with it. Love You Beck.
michigan "in law" said,
May 9, 2008 at 4:42 am
Don’t say you’d rather be in becky’s position…..can you imagine if your family heard that? It would probably hurt them more. This site seems like it’s helping you in a way because you can talk openly about your feelings and get people’s deepest condolences for you and your family. I pray God gives you and your family the strength, and I pray that you all get the closure and answers you deserve. God bless you and your family
homesweethome said,
May 9, 2008 at 7:32 am
Vielsa, to some extent I can understand that you need to vent. And because the person you are so angry at is unavailable… well you just want to get the anger out. But keep in mind that no here has any intention of hurting you or yours.
I can also see that you are having very hard time of it. And while I may not have gone through exactly what you are going through, I have felt the same way over other situations. I can also sense the frustration you feel that you cannot find your sister. Because you have not found her yet, doesn’t mean she won’t be found. It just may take more time and though the waiting is hard, sometimes life doesn’t give us too many choices.
From some of your posts I sense some depression setting in. That concerns me. Yes, your life has been turned upside down recently. Yes, you lost Becky. And coping with that is a huge struggle. But if you find your are really struggling or losing the struggle, please make contact me at the email addy you will find on the left.
the other sister said,
May 10, 2008 at 12:01 am
hello my beautiful sisters I love you all sooo very much, and even though our lives are crazy and hectic, I still think about you all the time!!! I remember all the good times Becky and I had. She is a beautiful girl,who would do anything for anyone. She loved us all so much,especially the little ones. I think about her all the time, and I miss her so much. At least she is in a better place. She’s probably dancing with angels and fairies, that was her personality. She would always make you laugh. I would give anything in the world to see her again, to tell her how much we love her, how much we need her. she was a good person and family was very important to her. Just remember all the good times we all had together with her, I know it hurts, it still hurts me to even look at her pictures. One day I will see you again Becky,until then I love you with all my heart and words can’t even describe the pain I feel without you here.. I pray we find you soon.
vielsa said,
May 10, 2008 at 2:35 am
The last comment from Home Sweet Home was surprisingly helpful. I am relieved to finally connect with someone who understands what I am going through. I suppose from my last few comments you grasped that I am not accepting this situation all that well, this is true. Becky was my younger sister, who I followed since the day I was five years old and I heard her kick every night in my mother’s womb, I guess even back then she was a fighter, she couldn’t wait to be born and live life. She sure did make one hell of an entrance, I remember her crying so much I wanted her to go back where she came from! Of course I got over that as a five year old and loved her tremendously. It’s hard to forget her as a kid, as a teenager ,and as a woman. I am thankful I got to see her grow and become an amazing person. It just kills me to think we will never get to be old ladies togther, gossiping and reflecting on our lives. I saw so much of myself in her and I loved to observe myself through her. I guess I did influence her and that makes me feel happy to know I provided her with knowledge and advice. I just wish I could have prevented this and maybe she would still be here. There aren’t any words to describe the kind of pain this has brought about, I wasn’t prepared to receive this kind of heartache. I don’t know how people get through these things and actually enjoy life after, that is strength. Anyway thanks for listening. Becky, if you’re out there, I love you so much and I can’t stop thinking about you. I have one memory of you that comes to mind everyday. You must have been 12 years old and you were fishing with me. I remember your cute little jean shorts and ponytail that always glistened in the sun. I always wondered at those moments what life was going to offer you and what you would make of it. I always believed in you and I would have never guessed God was planning to take you home so early. Life will never be the same without you and I would give anything to relive one of those days by the river in which you always inspired me. If I ever have a dream in which you come home, I won’t ever want to wake up! I love you so much and you are on my mind with everything I do.
homesweethome said,
May 10, 2008 at 7:41 am
I’m happy that I could surprise you, lol.
You asked how to get past this? One day at a time. By that I mean that you will have some days that are better and some days that are worse. If it is a better day, you go to bed that night hoping that tomorrow will be the same. If it is a bad day, you go to bed hoping that tomorrow will be better. Time does help you get used to it, and as you get used to it you will have better days.
On the bad days, make a point of reaching out to loved ones and people you are close to. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need to. Whether you are having a good day or a bad day, remember to take care of yo