It is time

I still remember going to school. Elementary school and middle school a fight meant an argument between two or more kids. I remember junior high and high school, a fight meant fists and well to be honest it was more or less looked at as a bit of excitement. And they didn’t happen often.

But the world is different today. Today a fight could easily mean a knife, a sword or a gun. Or one or two may walk into a school class with a gun and wipe out the whole room or rooms. And sadly weapons in the classroom seem to be more and more frequent today.

What happened at Virginia Tech is horrific and devestating. And it is something that we tell ourselves couldn’t happen in our children’s high school, junior high, middle or yes even elementary school.

Chances are that it won’t. Chances were that it wouldn’t happen at Columbine, at Dawson College, at Campbell County Tenn. or at Virginia Tech either. But it did happen there and at other schools too. It has happened in rural and urban schools, and through a variety of grades.

Parents need to talk with their children about what to do if there is a problem in the classroom or if they see a gun.

Even kindergarten children can be taught to stay quiet and stay away from doors and windows. To try to find a closet or get under furniture. They can start learning to tell an adult if they see any kind of a weapon. (Yes, young children have been known to bring guns to school.)

Older children can also be taught to lock or bar their classroom doors with furniture and to cover any interior windows to the classroom.

Parents of older children also need to make decisions and talk with the kids about confrontation of someone with a gun.

All children can be taught to leave any area in which others are getting violent. If a weapon is seen they should be using any available exits- including windows.

It may feel alarmist, but it is important for your child. And what they learn about school could someday aid them in saving their lives- at school or elsewhere.

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A new idea. A bookbag with books in it can be used as a means of defense to protect a child’s vulnerable areas. Books like textbooks, are compressed paper and 2-3 thick textbooks may be able to stop a bullet while a child is running.

Virginia Tech Part II

It is now official. Police say that of the two guns found at the scene where so many were murdered, at least one of the guns was used at the scene of the ‘domestic incident.’ They are not definitively saying that the shooter was the same in both incidents but there is definitely a connection between the two tragedies.

The shooter was from S. Korea and was in the U.S. as a permanent resident. He was 23 and a student at the University. He is described as a loner  and ‘troubled’ that no one knew well. He reportedly did leave a note with invectives and rants about rich white kids.

It is believed the shootings were planned. The shooter did not carry any identification, the serial numbers on the weapons were rubbed out, there were chains put on the exit doors at the second building.

Little is being said about the first shooting that was classified as a domestic. But one report indicates that the shooter was alleged to have been stalking several women recently. Recently his creative writing had gotten so disturbing that he had been referred to the student counseling service.

But more important is the victims. 32 dead. One victim was a professor. Liviu Librescu was an Israeli who was born in  Roumania. He was a holocaust survivor. He lived in the U.S. and taught at the college. When the shooting began to draw near, he used his body to bar the door to his classroom and encouraged his students to go out a window. He died protecting his students.

At least 2 other professors were also reportedly killed. The students came from across the U.S. and even from other countries. They were English majors, biology, French, international relations students, engineering and other courses of study. Our future leaders.

Students within the buildings were reported as having tried to help and protect each other and care for each other. Most were shot multiple times, as much as three shots per victim.

Numbers of injured have varied according to the source. But some reports indicate that 15 are now in stable or good condition. Two remain critical.

The college is offering counseling to the students.

chicagotribune.com   forbes.com  newsday.com

                    newsday.com    newsday.com  

Though I have tagged this as domestic violence, the issues surrounding the first shooting as less defined today than yesterday. The first shooting was initially identified as a domestic shooting. Very little is being said about that incident or it is being swallowed up in the news about the rest of the shootings.

I can say that while it is not unknown for a domestic incident to develop into a spree killing, it does seem to be relatively rare.

In DV the attacker most usually expends their rage on the wife or girlfriend, and sometimes bystanders who try to interfere or who happen to be ‘in the line of fire’ between them and the girlfriend. Sometimes they will go after other family members or persons they have a grudge against, but a spree killing- going after relative strangers is relatively rare in comparison to the number of domestic violence murders that happen.

In my opinion the key here is not DV. It is more in the terms ‘troubled’ and ‘loner’, the recent allegations of stalking several women and the reports that his creative writing had become more disturbing.

Spree killings often have a ‘trigger’. An incident that may have initiated the beginning of the murders. But in a spree rampage, any incident or person could precipitate it- not just one persons actions.

This one will continue to be investigated for months if not years. Each witness will be interviewed, some more than once. Each piece of evidence will have to be tested and the bodies will be examined. In short all is not known about this spree, it could be months maybe even years before all the information on the shootings is released.

Besides the crime scene, the college and all responders actions will be examined, critiqued and criticized. It is important to remember that everything happened in two short hours. Two hours to examine a crime scene, develop a theory of the crime, attempt to notify and protect thousands of people. It is a lot easier to look back at the issues now than it would have been in the midst of the chaos that would have accompanied even the first crime. And much more is known now than would have been known at the first crime scene. You know the old saying about hindsight being 20/20 or the one about Monday morning quarterbacking.

About the victims

time.com               forbes.com                  delaware.com  

baltimoresun.com                                         wdbj7.com

My thoughts, my sympathies, and my prayers to out to the students- both those who survived and those who did not, to the faculty and other employees of the college, to the families of them all and to the community as well as the state.

My sympathy is also with the rest of my country and my society. We all lost yesterday- though some more than others.

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More and more disturbing info coming out about the shooter.

Info about the accusations of stalking, his detention for mental illness. Between the 1st and 2nd shootings, he sent materials to the NBC News which are described as disturbing.

msnbc.msn.com

Virginia Tech

Most are probably aware of the shootings at Virginia Tech Monday. I have been trying to follow it as information dribbled out. First there was one dead, others wounded. Then the count began to rise. 7 dead, 20 wounded. 8 dead, then it was 20 and 21. Current toll seems to be at 32 dead, plus a shooter. The numbers of wounded vary, but it seems there are more than 20 wounded.

As the information dribbles out there are of course some information that is not released, some hinted at and not confirmed by law enforcement, and a lot probably not known. At times some information appears to be conflicting- but that is not uncommon in a crime of this magnitude, as it will be quite chaotic.

About 7:15 am police were called to a shooting in a college dorm. All I have seen officially acknowleged is that it was a domestic incident. One dead, one injured- or maybe two dead. Some information from students indicate that a male may have come into the dorm this morning asking for his girlfriend. They allegedly were arguing and when a TA approached them to tell them to quiet down, the male pulled a gun and shot the TA and the girlfriend and left. Police arrived to investigate the shooting and has indicated they had reason to believe the person who fired the shots had left the campus and maybe even left the state.

About 2 hours after the shooting they were informed of another shooting on the other side of the campus. It was in that shooting that the majority of the people were killed. Police have said when they arrived at the building, they found some of the doors chained shut.  Some students have said the gunman walked in and without saying a word began shooting people one by one. That shooter also allegedly shot himself.

Law enforcement are still investigating. And with a scene of this magnitude it will take time for the details to become known or be confirmed.

Earlier it was thought that there was just one shooter. That the shooter involved in the domestic shooting was also the shooter in the spree killing. But there have been hints, unconfirmed by law enforcement that say there may actually have been two different shooters. At least one report indicates that law enforcement may have someone being “interviewed” in the domestic shooting, some reports say they are interviewing a person of interest- but it isn’t specified for which shooting. It is unknown if the two shootings are connected in any way.

This tragedy is beyond horrific. Any shooting is devestating to the family, the friends and the communities. But these shooting hit hard. At the college would have been tomorrow’s leaders in many areanas. Now many of those future leaders won’t be present to live out their lives or to lead. They leave behind a stunned country.

Besides the 33 dead, the numerous wounded, there are also many young adults and faculty who are psychically wounded. They spent most of the day locked into rooms on campus fearing they might become the next victim. A number of them saw their fellow students shot before their eyes. Those on the outside spent their day trying to track down friends and check on them, find news about what was happening and trying to make sense of what happened to their world.

This is the largest murder spree this country has seen, eclipsed only by the mass murders of international and domestic terrorism. On a recent Google search, there were 12,013 ‘hit’s’ or results and it is being written about around the world.

At this point little is known about the domestic murder. When more details about it become known, I will be putting up another post on that portion of it.

Virginia Tech is situated in the city of Blacksburg, Virginia. The Governor of Virginia has declared the city to be in a state of emergency.

roanoke.com       abcnews.go.com     collegemedia.com  

wsbtv.com               npr.org          msnbc.msn.com 

postchronicle.com                           msnbc.msn.com

 kjct8.com              570news.com               citynews.ca

My sympathies go out to the family, friends, and faculty of Virginia Tech. To the community and all others touched by this tragedy.

I will be making one exception from the usual in any posting of this tragedy. In many of the recent spree murders, there is a certain segment of the online population who will attempt to glorify the shooter or shooters of this tragedy. On this blog- their names will not even appear. For whatever reason they took these actions I will not glorify them or assist in any way to make their names remembered. Here they won’t even be acknowledged by name.

While he was away

Police were called to a home about 6:30 am on Sunday. When they arrived a man answered the door and told them he had left the home for about 30 minutes. When he came back, he found his girlfriend Kelly Army, 42, had been stabbed.

Kelly Army was pronounced dead at the scene, she had suffered multiple stab wounds. Her 11 year old son was also in the home, and he was reportedly asleep when she was allegedly attacked. He was not harmed.

Police arrested the boyfriend, Christopher Proctor on an unrelated warrant. He was later interviewed and then arrested for Kelly Army’s death. Reportedly police have been unable to locate the murder weapon.

Kelly Army’s employer has spoken out about what a good friend and employee she was. The employer has also made allegations that there was a past history of abuse. But she says that she believes that Kelly Army

“She kept feeling sorry for him. Feeling sorry for him got her killed.”

theindychannel.com    wistv.com  

I don’t know if this is true in this situation. But in DV situations it isn’t uncommon for the perpetrator to make statements to elicit sympathy. They had a bad childhood, the world is against them, everybody at work hates them, they can’t catch a break,  they don’t make enough money, someone else did it and they got the blame, everybody leaves them or lies about them etc.

What they don’t say is that they are now grown up, no longer a child. They are adults and if they have problems related to their childhood they have the capability to get help. And they have the ability to make their lives what they wish.

Nor will they admit to any responsibility for their current circumstances. It is someone else’s fault. And thus if problems develop in the relationship- guess what? It isn’t their fault- even if they had apologized.

No one in a relationship is ever perfect. Everyone does make mistakes. And sometimes the complaints may be true. But when you see a pattern of denial of personal responsibility, then it is important to recognize it. And to begin to honestly assess the person and the relationship.

The Engagement

Holves Labissiere, 25, had reportedly stalked his ex-girlfriend in the past. And she did file charges on him, he was convicted, and he did serve several months for the crime. She also applied for and was granted a restraining order that was effective until the year 2025.

He was released recently. And he was evidently not happy. And apparently he blamed the girlfriend for his incarceration.

Allegedly he broke into the girlfriend’s apartment and abducted her. He allegedly took her to an unused apartment with boarded up windows. He allegedly shackled and handcuffed her and held her for two days in the apartment.

He reportedly told her that he wanted her to know what it felt like to be locked up. And he told her he loved her. And that if she loved him, she would marry him.

According to the report she was in fear of her life, and the lives of her family. She agreed to marry him.

After she agreed to marry him, he took her to the courthouse and tried to get a marriage license. Due to the waiting period they were unable to obtain the license and were given an application instead.

Two days after her abduction her unsuspecting mother sent her a text message. But all she got in return was a simple text saying “I’m okay.” That message to the mother is what led to her daughter’s recovery. Police did find the shackles and handcuffs in the apartment.

Holves Labissiere has been charged with rape, kidnapping, burglary and other charges.

wftv.com

Normally I try to find several articles on a crime in order to ensure a more balanced view of the DV crime. But despite several searches I only found one article.

This is the part that always confuses me about DV. He apparently wanted her to ‘pay’ for having him locked up. Yet he was bound to marry her, even if it was under duress.

There seems to be no understanding that though you can force a person to take certain actions, you cannot force the person to love.

You can force a person to stay in a relationship- through force and intimidation- but if they do not remain in the relationship voluntarily then they can never be trusted to remain in the relationship or to be happy in the relationship. And if one person in the relationship is not happy, then most likely no one in the relationship will be happy.

If anyone finds more information about this crime I would be happy to add it.

Instincts

Juanita Natasha Kinsey, 37, is the coordinator for a domestic violence shelter. Daily she works with victims of domestic violence, she sees the results and she knows how it should be handled.

A week ago Juanita Kinsey was in a dispute with her husband Timothy Kinsey, 43. It was perhaps her experience with DV that alerted her. Or perhaps it was knowlege of her husband.

She spoke with her daughter on the phone earlier on Saturday about the daughter bringing the grandchildren for a visit. But Juanita Kinsey reportedly told her daughter that she was concerned about her husband’s behavior and said she did not want the children there. She also asked her daughter to remain close to the phone.

Shortly after that conversation, Timothy Kinsey allegedly threw gasoline on Juanita Kinsey and lit it. Juanita Kinsey’s 14 year old son was standing nearby and some of the gasoline splashed  on him.

The son grabbed a coat and began to smother the flames on his mother. In the process he was also burned. Reportedly Timothy Kinsey left the home.

Juanita Kinsey was taken to the hospital and is reported to be in critical but stable condition with 2nd and 3 rd degree burns on 40% percent of her body, much of it reported to be on her face and back. She had her first surgery on Wed.

Her 14 year old son was treated for burns on his hands and arms and was released. The mobile home reportedly sustained moderate damage.

Police arrested Timothy Kinsey on Wednesday and charged him with two counts of assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill inflicting serious injury and 1 st degree arson. He was reportedly found at his mother’s home.

wistv.com       wral.com     wsoctv.com     wcti12.com

wral.com           abclocal.go.com     witntv.com

I sit here daily and write about the violence. I write about what should be done, could be done. Yet I am very much aware that writing about it is different than actually being in the situation. I know that because years ago I was once in similiar situations. And I am afraid I survived it more because of luck than because of intelligent actions. I would guess it is much the same in working with DV. It feels different to see it in other’s situations versus being faced with it in your own home.

In the situation things can move very quickly. There may be only brief moments to make life saving decisions. And those moments are clouded with emotion and with previous experiences with the person. We all have instincts for self preservation. Fear is one of those instincts. Yet it is easy to allow the emotion and the previous knowlege of the person to override that instinct.

Telling the daughter not to bring the children over, could have been merely response to an argument. Not wanting to expose the children. But some instinct made her tell her daughter to stay by the phone.

Try to listen to your instincts. If you feel fear or concern over a situation, it is time to get out. If not permanently, then at least long enough to allow yourself to evaluate the situation calmly.

You may feel you know the person, you may feel they would never go that far. But no matter how well you know the person- you don’t know them in this situation, you don’t know how far they will go in this situation. If they are inspiring fear, then it is time to get someplace safe.

Thankfully, she had a quick thinking son present who was able to come to her rescue, to save her life. Only 14 years old, traumatized by seeing his mother set ablaze….yet he had the presence of mind to grab a coat and smother the flames. She would never have knowingly put him in that situation, she would never have endangered him…. if she had known what her husband would do. He listened to his instincts and saved his mother’s  life.

You have instincts for self preservation. You are born with them. Allowing yourself to override your instincts with emotion and with what you think you know about a person can be dangerous.

A big thank you to P.C. for the lead in this case. P.C. also writes a domestic violence blog Until Death Do Us Part which you can find by following the link.

DV in the news

Periodically I like to post news items about how communities are dealing with the problems of DV in their communities. This week there are a couple of interesting articles from the UK and from Canada. The laws in one country may differ from another country, they may even differ from state to state. But the issues and problems of DV are much the same no matter what state or country.

Men’s group takes stand against domestic violence; Photo campaign being considered   Canada

Domestic violence victims urged to speak out  UK

Domestic violence court success for town   UK

Domestic violence awareness group offers displays, open house in April IA

Male victims the subject of domestic violence conference WV

Task force speaks out on domestic violence  NY

I find those especially interesting because they are addressing the way that DV is perceived by the public. DV is in our culture- in our music from folk songs to rap, in our movies, even in romance novels. It even shows up in clothing if you take a look at some of the t-shirts out today. And for the most part it is not presented as a negative thing.

Canada is working to get men to support the fact that DV is wrong. It is not an acceptable way to handle domestic problems. That it isn’t just ‘the way things are done.’

In the UK they are encouraging friends to report when they are aware of DV in another friend’s relationship. They point out that a friend making such a report is not interfering in the relationship- they are intervening in a problem that is happening in the relationship. By bringing it to the attention of authorities, they are actually putting the friend’s in contact with a source of help. Something that could be of benefit to both the victim and the perpetrator.

In the US, actress Salma Hayek is speaking out against DV. And local communities working to make sure that potential victims know of resources for help. Also drawing attention to the fact that men can be victims of domestic violence also. Draws attention to the need for services for male victims.

By changing the public perception of DV and the way it is viewed in our culture, that is the first step in changing the acceptance of the problem.

Study seeks domestic violence victims  ME

Maine is doing a study on the role of mental health counseling in domestic violence relationships and needs participants.

Participants must have experienced domestic violence during the past three years and received professional counseling during that time. The write-up of each interview will protect the identity of the participant and the participant’s counselor or counselors. Interviews will take 60 to 90 minutes.

The minimum age for participation is 18 years. Each participant will receive a $25 certificate to a local grocery store.

More info at link

The Question is Why?

Gerardo Roque and his girlfriend lived and worked together on a horse farm. Together they had two children. First came their little daughter Maria Socorro Danforth, 2, then their little son Carlos Diego Danforth, 1.

At some point Roque began working elsewhere and recently the relationship came to an end with the girlfriend reportedly asking him to move out. Arrangements were made for him to see their children, but it is said that Roque was distraught over the ending of the relationship.

April 3 rd Roque picked the children up from their daycare about 2:30 pm as the couple had arranged. About 3 pm he called his ex-girlfriend and told her that she had better meet him, that he was intending to hurt their children. He told her he was on the farm and told her where.

She was their mother and she left to find them. Police say when she arrived where she was to meet them she saw Roque’s truck parked along the road and followed a little path into the woods.

Police say she found litte Carlos and Maria there. They were hanging from a tree alongside their father. She called police at 3:11 pm.  They responded to the area she directed them to, and said they found the site in the  woods by following her screams.

Both police and rescue personnel attempted CPR but were unable to resuscitate the children.

baltimoresun.com   washingtonpost.com     gazette.net

                    gazette.net         fredericknewspost.com

I don’t know why. According to family he did not have a history of mental health problems. He was a happy go lucky Dad. Reportedly he was distraught over the breakup, and wanted to remain close to his children.

Instead he caused those very children pain in the process of taking their lives. He caused pain to their siblings in the loss of their brother and sister. He caused pain to his own family, not only for the taking of his own life- but also for what he did to the children, the children were their relatives also. He caused pain to the children’s other relatives. He caused pain to the community who now have to deal with the memory of what was done to their friends and neighbors. And most of all he caused pain to their mother- the person he was reportedly distraught over.

Many times there is an underlying mental health problem, sometimes there are financial problems or other problems which may play into it, sometimes there is even a confused altrustic reasoning of not abandoning the children. But many times it is a desire to hurt the one who hurt them by leaving or separating.

You see it sometimes in custody cases. The children become the means to an end- and a means to hurt the other. The children who carry their names, who they have always loved, who may look like them or act like them suddenly just become not their children but instead a means to hurt the one they love.

What was the reason for the death of these children? I have no idea. The only person who could answer that question died with them.

Their deaths leave a hole in the fabric of the lives of their Mother, their siblings, their families, their neighbors and their community as well as to society. They will never grow up so that we can find out what good things they have accomplished.

A big thank you to Desiree for the lead on this one. I apologize for the delay in posting it.

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A Mother’s Words  wtopnews.com

‘Top 100 Mom Blogger’!

                                             mom100.jpg 

A big thank you to the staff of MothersDayCentral.com. They have notified me that I was chosen as one of the ‘Top 100 Mom Bloggers’.

It was a suprise to me as I won the award without even knowing I was in the running.  So that is one thing that makes it special. And it is my first ever blog award. So that makes it even more special to me.

A big thank you goes out to whoever nominated and chose me for the honor.

It’s a familiar story

A girl meets a guy and a relationship developed in the winter of 2000. They lived together off and on during that period. Most likely there was the usual give and take, but by the summer of 2004 the relationship was ending.

Instead of moving out and moving on, the two continued to live together. By 2005, there was the first known violent episode- shoving and closing a door on an ankle.

Over the course of the relationship, as usual the couple learn more about each other. She learned that he was living in the US illegally, and that he may have fled the United Kingdom to evade some type of trouble there. She learned that he could be charming, but wasn’t always truthful. And that he did have some involvement with drugs, a problem with alcohol and possibly theft. And she learned that he also used the names “Robert Richardson” and “Nathan Rowan” sometimes. And most likely she learned that some people liked him, but that some people didn’t like or trust him. Things that if learned at the beginning, may have stopped any relationship. But learned one tidbit at a time after the relationship had already begun- that lessens the impact.

The two continue to share a residence off and on, the next known incident was in Jan. 2007. According to the girl she comes home one day and he is drunk. An argument allegedly developed and items were thrown at her, she was tackled to the ground and punched.  She did not call police.

She did move out of the residence and she allegedly did try to tell him the relationship was over and she did not want to see him again.

Then the phone calls began. The guy leaves messages about how he cannot live without her and threatening to harm himself. But she didn’t call him back.

Then the calls turn more sinister, with the threats aimed  toward the girl and toward her sister and her sister’s pets. At that point two sisters take it court. They asked for and were granted temporary protection orders on March 6.

At first she did not want to file charges against him, but she soon changed her mind and decided to pursue criminal charges. By this time her sister was also receiving phone calls, threats and the phone calls and threats to the girl continue.

However nothing could be done on the protection order, because police had been unable to locate the guy to serve the protection order on him.

The girl took what actions she could to protect herself. She moved out.  She worked at home part of the time. She emailed her coworkers and advised them of the situation and asked them to keep an eye out for the boyfriend, stressing that he was not a danger to them- but he was a danger to her. She even made copies of the protection order and asked her coworkers to serve him with the order if he showed up at work.

Her name was Rebecca Griego. She was 26 years old.  And eventually she did have to return to work. And she was at work on April 2, 2007 when her ex-boyfriend Jonathan Rowan showed up.

First he shot her, then he shot himself.

Timeline of victim and attacker                                  
British loner kills ex-girlfriend at US university            UW victim did want to press charges against ex-boyfriend                                                                         
UW killer was a man of many tales, friends say          Man who killed UW woman had aliases, passports
Killer eluded police with fake names 
        

Of course there is much more to the story than what I have written here. Information about Rebecca Griego, the kind of person she was and her accomplishments. And there is more information on  the man who was known as Jonathan Rown, what was known about him and what wasn’t known. But reduced to the domestic violence issues, it is a familiar story. A reality that many people still live in.                        

Many think that domestic violence is a daily pattern of behavior. It can be, but doesn’t have to be. Sometimes it happens, then days weeks months or even years go by. Then it happens again. Often it seems minor- throwing something, a push and shove, a slap- no permanent damage, it may take time but will often be dismissed. There is usually a reason- they were upset about something else, they were tired, they were under the influence….. they were angry.  That explains it, right???

An apology and some charm, time goes by and nothing more happens- you guess it wasn’t so bad. Then it happens again. Soon it happens more frequently and the episodes get worse. But by then you are in the ‘habit’. You love, you excuse, you even lie about it. It is just something peculiar to them. They are nice people. It’s not so bad……really. Most of the time they are good to you. But it keeps getting worse.        

The farther you go- the harder it will be to get away. The farther you go, the more they learn about how to reel you back in. And it reinforces the fact that if they try hard enough, they can most likely get you back. And the more frustrated they are if it doesn’t work.

I was going to write about workplace safety and domestic violence, but this time- Seattle gets it. There are more articles out there on this case than I have ever seen about domestic violence. They are good articles, with a lot of info and tips on domestic violence, stalking, and workplace safety. So instead of writing it up, I am going to give the articles and just say that if you see anything in this situation that reminds you of your own situation or of the situation of someone you know, that I do recommend that you check them out.          

A piece of paper alone can’t stop abuse
How Do You Stop a Stalker From Killing You?
           Check background of potential partner                        Many get away from abusive partners, say experts     Protection order can’t stop person hellbent on doing harm                                                                                  No guarantee of safety from stalker                            Advocates for domestic violence victims: Stand up to battery          

I believe there are things a person can do to increase their own safety in stalking and/domestic violence situations. First- recognition of the stalking behavior. Second- honestly acknowledging the risk and dangers it poses. Third- becoming proactive in your own safety- reach out for help- with law enforcement, domestic violence agencies, family and friends. Fourth- recognize that at times you will have to become your own advocate…. press charges, attend court hearings, obtain evidence wherever possible, relate what you know in a calm and accurate manner.  And there may be times when you will have to insist on recognition of the danger you are facing. Last and probably most important- you have to remember that although the actions you are taking may get the perpetrator in ‘trouble’, it is actually their own actions that are causing their problems. You are only responding to their actions.  When your life is at risk, you can no longer provide them with excuses.                                                                            

And then these articles are more to do with how we as a society can work to promote safety. For instance, do you know what your company’s policy is on domestic violence and the relationship to work? Does it promote the victims safety as well as the other employees? How do you handle it when you learn that someone you know has been accused of domestic violence? Or has been a victim of domestic violence?

CNN shooting highlights safety in public workplaces   Domestic violence can be reduced                             Advocates for domestic violence victims: Stand up to battery          

This one was sent to me by an anonymous person and I want to thank them for thinking of how it relates this blog and for the kind words they had to say. Not only the domestic violence case, but the articles that have followed it provide valuable information about the issues. I apologize for the delay in posting it due to my physical limitations, but I also want them to know that without their assistance I probably would have missed it.

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